Dan's Week 3 Predictions

As always with Dan's predictions the words chosen and ideals and beliefs posted below are that of Dan Clemson and Dan Clemson alone. They do not reflect the values and opinions of the "Season Don't Fear the Reaper" blog. With that being said please enjoy. - Death  

 

 

It's here.  The week the Ravens fans and the FIFA players look forward to and they just so happen to fall on the same weekend.  This weekend half our league will be traveling to St. Louis to watch the Ravens take on the Rams and FIFA 12 launches on the 27th.  I officially dub this week "FIFA WEEK".

FIFA Matchup #1

Death v Hittner

Man City vs Villa, do they play this weekend too? That would be awesome..... ahhh they don't, City plays Everton and Villa has QPR, that would've been perfect.  Either way it's going to be win-win for one of these teams, not only will the winner gain their first W of the season and take the first step to crawl out of the basement of the league, they will also win a copy of the new FIFA 12 which will be purchased by the loser of this match up!  As for the history of these two, there's only been one meeting and Hittner went on to an easy 107.36 - 65.02.  The projections show that this time around should be a little closer.  When it comes down to it, I think this is like Hope Solo and Steve Nash playing FIFA, Death is Hope and Hittner is Nash.  Hope wins.... but Hittner is like a Gorilla.... and a Leopard..... (I have no idea if this even makes sense but I had to use the clip)

W - Death

L - Hittner

FIFA Matchup #2

Pitz v Dan

I'm going to go ahead and roll the dice with the fantasy gods here.  We all know how this one went last year, "My trade didn't go through, my trade didn't go through..... FIFA-gate, blah blah blah."  Fact is, that has been our only meeting in this league and I cruised to a 13 point victory and a fresh copy of the newest FIFA (This would be the first of several times Pitz bought FIFA last year).  This year is a different story.  Pitz has proclaimed himself as GM of the year for last season (How you can be GM of the year by not making the playoffs, leading the league in most weeks with the lowest score, and having the second longest losing streak at 7 games is beyond me.  If this were the NFL he wouldn't be GM of the year, he'd be unemployed). He has bulked up though and is a legitimate threat for this years crown, I'll give him that, just not GM of the year (if it were put to a vote I would vote Hittner, just fyi).  I think it's going to come down to hoping for high numbers from Mike Wallace during the late Sunday game as Pitz and I watch at.... THIS place!  Here's to hoping Wallace screws Pitz 2 years running.

W - Dan

L - Pitz

Peach v Kirby

The last time these two met Kirby put up his worst score of all time with 61.98 points.  This time around Kirby looks to have the easy win lined up after coming off a nail biter against Alec.  Kirby will be watching the Pitt D take the field Sunday evening, probably on his couch, might even fall asleep, while Death, Pitz, Jason, Lars, Hittner, and I are acting like these guys when we walk into the bar mentioned in the prediction above (I can see Matt skipping and clapping like the guy on the left).  As for Peach.... the only person that could give you advice for this fantasy season is Ari Gold.

W - Kirby

L - Peach

Alec v Lars "Grundy Street Brawl"

Case and point, I'm looking forward to this one.  Both teams projected at less then 80 points right now, which means this one will live up to it's name and be a brawl.  The other reason I'm looking forward to it is because I'll actually be with Mike Larsen during football games, which:

1. Has never happened for me before.
2. I'll have hit my yearly quota for seeing Larsen for the next five years.
3. We can talk about Arsenal.

Now I propose that these two take part in the FIFA bets as well.  It's win-win.  Think about it: this solves the household battle of who is the guy that has to buy the game, it makes an already heated matchup even more meaningful, and (I know from experience) when you win a FIFA matchup you get to have one of THESE moments!

W - Lars

L - Alec

Will v Stilt

Two of our travelers from last years away game that won't be joining us.  I'm deeply hurt by this.  Both of these guys provided amazing entertainment last year.  Will decided to do a stage dive in the Georgia Dome on a row of unsuspecting people in the row in front of us last year during the 3rd quarter.  Stilt fed us the most epic "icing" I have ever seen on a Falcons fan and then throws up in a trashcan in front of thousands of people after the game.... I'm going to miss you two.  Lars, Pitz, Hittner - Take note.  This is what you have to live up to.  Stilt claims he's working six 12 hour days until mid October.  I talked to his girlfriend, Corinne, she said he is barely working at all and is acting like this guy, except he's not attending.  As for the matchup, Stilt has reason for concern, 33% of ALL of Wills wins EVER have come against him.  If Will wins this game, 50% of all his wins will have come against Stilt (I'll help you with the math, 2 of 4 total wins).  Will is staring at a winning record for the first time.  Unfortunately Stilts team is stacked and his golden locks flow in the wind like Denise Richards (I'm sorry Death but I got such a boner from when you used it, I had to use it again.  Take it as a compliment.)

W - Stilt

L - Will

Titus v Jason

Year 1 Titus and Jason combined for the 5th lowest combine score with Titus getting a lucky win 65.44 - 56.14, 121.58 total points.  This year, looking at projected stats, could land them on the highest combined score list, both are projected at just under 100 points.  It's not difficult for me to root for Jason here.  He'll be with me in St. Louis and c'mon it's Titus, the only time I have cheered for Titus was when I was going to CHS soccer games.  Worst part about this trip and matchup (for Jason) is he's playing the guy that has Ray Rice.  Nothing worse then being at an away game and not being able to cheer completely for a player on your favorite team.  Which makes me wonder.... Did Hittner bench Bradford so he didn't have to cheer for him while we're in St. Louis and how ironic is it that SJAX is injured for Death, is he happy or sad about this?  Would Death have benched SJAX?  I have to believe he'd still start him.  Anyway... I hope to see Jason at 3 - 0, but at the same time I don't think I could handle that the guy that got iced 6 times at the draft is undefeated.

W - Titus

L - Jason

Week 2 Recap

HOLY OFFENSIVE EXPLOSIONS BATMAN!!! Last week we have 5 players go over the 100 point mark, this week 8. 8! 8!!! It's a 12 team league for crying out-loud, and two thirds of it scored over 100 points this week.Worst part is that the 4 guys who didn't score in the triple digits played each other. How does that work out? Here's how crazy this week was, Alec had the 8th highest scoring week ever(prior to taking into account any additional scores from the week)...and he lost!!! What? Death, last years third place finisher, had his second highest point total, and lost. Two teams went off and scored over 134 points, one of which was last years champion and the other...the guy who drafted third this year. It's like Kevin Garnett says... anything is possible. Next thing you know I'll be mentioning that Jason is 2-0. Wait...what? He is? Really? Oh man I can't keep up with this. In fact I'm going to take a little bit of a breather from talking fantasy football and focus on telling everyone about my Sunday night with Alec.

So Alec swung by around halftime of the 4 o'clock games, and though he denies it, he was feeling pretty good already.  We talk about the Redskins win...I mean Alec tells me about the Redskins victory for 28 minutes straight. I'm pretty sure the only words I said were "Whats up?" "Wanna beer, I only have Boh?" and "That's awesome" (which is basically what I say when I know the other person wants to keep talking but needs to hear I comprehend how amazing their story is). In case you're wondering Alec is basically a 17 year old unpopular girl who is afraid the popular kid in school (Rex Grossman) may not be genuine in his courtship towards Alec. He seems to mean well, and he says all the right things, but every once in a while he does something dumb like flirt with another girl right in front of Alec (aka dumb interceptions). The popular boy swears he is going and is trying to change, and Alec really really wants to believe him...but it could hurt too much if Rex reverts back to his old cheating/turnover ways.

Once Alec had gotten everything out of his system (to his defense his team is totally overachieving and is 2-0 while my Ravens served everyone in Tennessee a double decker crap sandwich dropping to 1-1, so yea I may have been a bit bitter) Alec and I got to talking about fantasy and who has who, who looks good, and he may have asked me 7 times who owns Fred Jackson (Pitz is your answer since I know you're thinking about it).  This prompts me to turn to Alec and straight face ask him if he is as worried about losing Tom Brady as I am about losing Drew Brees after their expiring contracts. Alec doesn't even sweat it. "Nope. Tommy doesn't get hit. He's like Peyton. He has plenty of good years left in him." At this point I break the awful news that Alec loses Tommy after the 2012 season. He didn't take it well. I can't think of anything that makes the same sort of howling/crying/panting/angry/depressed noises he made. Let me stress that for second, just noises. For a solid two minutes Alec was failing to properly use the English language till acceptance started to kick in.

There is a reason acceptance kicked in, Tommy had just thrown a laser of a touchdown to one of the tight ends (I'm sure it was Gronkowski, because why the fuck wouldn't it have been?) and at this point Alec can no longer be upset about losing Tommy, he decides to just enjoy the time they have together. Like they say "tis better to love and lost then to have never loved at all". We rewind how cool Tommy looks as he throws ropes for touchdowns. (Side bar. Have you noticed that it doesn't even sound lame that I've been calling Tom Brady "Tommy" for 2 paragraphs? Somehow he hasn't lost his cool factor because of it. This is the complete opposite of the "Matthew" factor from last week. OR!!! Maybe its a new level to the "Matthew Theory". What if you have to come into your own as a shortened name, like Matt or Tom but once you reach a certain level it doesn't matter what they call you? This will be an ongoing thing for 2011 so I hope to come to some sort or resolution by the end of the season.) At this point Alec and I are just fantasy focused. Constantly rooting for Philip Rivers to throw picks and for Tommy to throw td's to Aaron Hernandez. When The Law Firm (this is the last time I type BenJarvis Green-Ellis his nickname is too cool, also while I'm at it Calvin Johnson will from here on out be Megatron and Darren McFadden will be RunDMC) busts out a 20 plus yard TD run and I sink back with a sick feeling in my stomach, starting to realize I may lose this week. Only then do I notice Alec cursing at the television. "THAT'S BULLSHIT!!! THAT'S TOMMY'S FUCKING TOUCH DOWN PASS GODDAMNIT!!! FUCK THAT MAN. FUCK THAT." My day has so far consisted of working all day, hearing about the Ravens laying an egg and watching my 86-4 lead start to vanish and at this point I watch Alec and decide today might be ok. As the 4 o'clock games start to wind down Alec and I debate and reenact our favorite quarterbacks. I say Drew Brees is the most fun to watch because he is so fundamentally sound. Alec shows me how cool Tommy looks when he throws and how his hair just flows in the wind. The best part is with Alec's long locks now it kinda looked like this. Not exactly the same of course, Alec's was much funnier and I did not have the same look Ross had in his eyes.

4 o'clock games come to an end and it's time to for once of the best things ever invented; Redzone is going to show us every touchdown from the entire day. Alec asks me again who owns Fred Jackson, it's still Pitz if you have forgotten just like he had. We all react to different things and of course I see the first Jahvid Best touchdown and let out a real nice "JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHVID", allowing for Alec to ask me what that's about. Alec must be the only person in the league not to understand my Jahvid Best man crush. I reenact last years draft and mock Peach's stupid pick of Peyton Manning first overall.  At this point its time to get beer and pizza, because naturally we are out of beer and that's why we need pizza.We sit back and start enjoying the Micheal Vick experience and naturally break down the so called "Dream Team". We agree there is something missing about this team and we both try to describe it but to no avail. Then we figure it out!!! You see the Eagles, we decide lacks the "Dick Factor", hence as some point in the season will be covered in shit. Nothing has ever been so clear to me before, though we are about 8 silver bullets deep at this point.

Now all game Alec has been ripping Micheal Vick. My favorite point he makes is one time Vick goes to throw and before the ball is released Alec, sounding just like Cris Collinsworth, points out "Look at him. He doesn't care if he completes this pass as long as he looks cool." on cue Vick completes a pass to an Atlanta Falcon. This immediately leads to a Tony Gonzalez touchdown and the Alec vrs. Kirby match up has gotten really, really interesting. Now again forgive me if I am mixing up the chronological order but I don't exactly remember the correct time frame, but not to long after the Tony G touchdown (or maybe it was the second Tony G touchdown, things are getting fuzzy) the Falcons fumble the ball and Alec is cheering like "Sexy Rexy" Grossman just walked in my front door. I give him a stare that would indicate that I feel Alec must be so drunk now that he can't tell red from green. Nope, hes just worried about Kirby. "Tony G cant score if ATL doesnt have the ball". WOW. The power of fantasy. Well of course right after this Jeremy Maclin scores to solidify my loss and then Tony G gets his third touchdown to hand Alec his first loss of the season. Alec is now back on the Eagles hating bandwagon and me and him are debating Hollywood actors (because that is the natural progression). Yes the game is going on but he refuses to accept that there is a better actor in the world then Leonardo DiCaprio. I fight saying Tom Hanks is easily the best of our generation, but is not producing late in his career. Alec tells me that Hanks has never tried to show off his "dark side" and it limits his range. I then counter with Leo's skill set is no better then Matt Damon, and now Alec begins to see my side. We are approaching a stalemate in the DiCaprio/Damn debate, and well what do you know the game is over. Go Falcons. Alec now has to go home and study because he has to know the entire outline of an airport by 9am. Good luck buddy. On to the top 12 list.

ZUnstoppableForce - Lars - Wow. Not only am I shocked that he is up here, but he changed his team name AND talked trash. This is by far the most active week for Lars in the history of IDP. All kidding aside this week was sick! Lars lead the league in scoring this week by cranking out 134.4 points, 4th highest total in our young leagues history. To get a total like that you need alot of your guys to play like studs, and Tony Romo(21.8), Larry Fitzgerald(19.3), Micheal Turner(19.6), and as I sit here and eat crow Beanie Wells(15.3)(still no way he keeps this up before an injury ends this season) did just that. Now here's the funny part, I continue to call everyone not named Will Ray stupid for not taking Matt Forte and that still includes Larsen. Lars takes Miles Austin and gets 30.10 points from him this week and thinks I'm going to back off him. NOPE not yet. I still think that move was terrible and well will know it to be true by the end of the season.

Just The Tip Drill - Pitz - Well now we can talk more about Forte can't we? Dude had a bit of a down week only scoring 16.6 points this week, but it was enough to get Pitz  in the win column. The most impressive part of Pitz's win this week is that other then his tight end, Kellen Winslow, Pitz managed to get double digits from every player in his starting line up. Oh by the way if you didn't notice Pitz has Fred Jackson, on his bench...scoring 26 points. Just saying.

Wu Rule #1 - Jason - I'm noticing a disturbing trend here. Jason is the last of the 2-0 teams. Of them 0 made the play offs, and they make up 3 of the top 4 draft picks. Parity is among us my friends. Last year I had three trends, 1) was make fun of Peach for the Peyton pick, 2) was make fun of Kirby for the Boldin deal, and 3) was some sort of self-loathing Jahvid Best talk (ah what a year makes). This year I am going to continue to rip Lars and Jason for skipping on the best talent in the draft, Matt Forte (the Greg Jennings pick is defensible). At least Lars can throw a 30 point performance from Miles Austin in my face, Jason...well Jason can't because he had such little faith in the #2 overall draft pick that he benched him. Wow. The sad part is that Jason still won, we'll talk about Hittner later.

Grundy Grabbers - Alec - I gotta talk about this guy more??? Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy!!!! Seriously though I spent a lot of time writing that intro that if you guys wanna read this tomorrow (Thursday) morning I'm going to need to start flying through some of these. But if you still feel you need more Alec in your life Tommy Touchdown is silly(29.22), AllDay (maybe Peterson has reached the nickname holy grail, still to be determined) is a stud (26.10) and its a damn shame Aaron Hernandez is out for awhile(12.20). I really wish I had done a better job of breaking down the excitement that was Alec vrs Kirby. Mistake I won't make again.


Grundle Stains - Titus - RUNDMC scores 24.30, Ray Rice 15.60, Megatron 14.90 and the tight end Dustin Keller scores 16.10, of course Titus would lose...to Larsen. It still seems bizarre to say some of the things that have been going on this season at this point. I mean this is as strange as the WWE following up the amazing CM Punk shoot promo and "Money in the Bank" victory (even if you hate wrestling watch this enterance) to a staged angle with a kneeless Kevin Nash leading to another boring Triple H match and some stupid sledgehammer. Sad part is I didn't even see the last pay per view I made that assumption and was informed I was in fact correct. Punk doesn't have boring matches ever! Ugh, I hate Triple H. It's just such a shame that the WWE finally gets something everyone cares about since the Rock was around and they are just tanking it. Ugh. So frustrating. Wait, how did I get here?

FreshPrincesOfBelAir - Stilt - So remember that 22 bet Pitz, AD and Dan had about everyone at the draft? I think Stilt won. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about Pitz, AD and Dan had a draft about who would draft/pick up Cam Newton first, the winner gets the favorite 22oz beer of the two losers. Well two 400 yard passing games later and well I really wish I had helped AD win. Damn this kid looks good. Best part, Stilt kept Matt Ryan and Cam has been sitting on the bench. I'll throw it out there, if you need a quarterback, I'd probably offer Stilt a trade. Just saying. So other then CamIAm what else went right for Stilt, since he to knows the feeling of scoring triple digits and failing to taste victory? Well his three keepers Matty Ice (22.40), Andre Johnson (15.30) and Rashard Mendenhall (13.80) all went for over double digits. Also, Ryan Mathews with 18.60 points this week...who knew?

corn on the kolb - Kirby - Bravo. Not only is Tony Gonzalez Hispanic (a joke from our draft for those of you who arn't familiar with all the inside jokes to this league) but he just won an epic contest for Kirby. The tight end we all assumed was washed up dropped a hot steamy 20.3 on the Grundy Grabbers. Ok seriously what is up with our grundle obsession this year? Atleast Alec's is a reference to where he lives, but what the hell is Titus talking about? What are these Grundle Stains he deals with? Maybe its a joke but now I'm kinda creeped out about it. Are we talking about really big streaks, or does he have a leak somewhere he shouldn't? Even worse is there some slang that I no longer get, but Titus does? Oh man, this is worse then finding out Larsen has the number one team in the league. Side bar, I dont even feel guilty changing topics during Kirby's write up, just feels fitting.

First or Last - Dan - Or 8th. I guess I had this coming when I ranted about the name change last week. But come on 130 plus points with Arian and CJ2K scoring 10 total points? Not fair. Not fair at all. During the Eagles game DeSean Jackson suffered an injury so of course Jeremy Maclin gets to blow up for 29.2 points. It's ok atleast Aaron Hernandez didn't get hurt leaving Rob Gronkowski to be the only pass catching tight end for Tom Brady. He only scored 20.60 ya know. To top it off Deion Branch had a 12.90 game, which you would think wouldnt bother me, but ya know Chad Ochocinco is still waiting to score more then 5 points in a game so I'm done here.

Rodgers Rejects - Will - Ah yes the black sheep of the top 4 draft picks. Shouldn't Will be up top the leader board? In his defense he did start this week 0-1 so him being 2-0 would have been a very impressive week (wait, that was in his defense?). Let's not take away too much from this week for Will though. First he gets the all important win, second he wins the prop prize of the week (I need to come up with a better name for that) thanks to an 84 yard strike between Rodgers and Jordy Nelson, which leads to the third and most important improvement from Will, he now has a legitimate and clever name! This is the positive karma he needs to continue the upside of his season. Even though he's being a biiiiiiiiiatch and not coming to ST. Louis maybe he can be lucky enough to win the league this year and you know...pay a rent check or two.

Flounder Pounders - Death - If you're going to be tied with 2 other people at 0-2 then you might as well be the highest scoring 0-2 right? Lets be honest this loss hurt. Anytime I get 24.3 out of my boy Jahvid Best, well I just assume the fantasy gods are smiling down on me and granting me a win. Add that to a few other positives from this week like 21.00 from Detroit's defense and Santonio Holmes scored his first touchdown of the season and well I assumed I was gonna be all good. Notice I left out the always consistent Drew Brees too. As for the other positive I'm taking from this brutal start to the season is that my second round "bust", Daniel Thomas, just rushed for over 100 yards in his first NFL game. Hopefully that's a sign of more things to come AND Mark Ingram starts to take notice!!!

The Tolbert Report - Peach - He isn't last? Already this season has to be considered a success so far for the Report. That's pretty much the only reason why it's a success, he's not in last, but I feel like come week 4 or so this team will have been tanked.  Weren't wide receivers suppose to be a strong point for this team? Nicks played hurt so of course he was on the bench, DeSean had apparently tweeked his jerking off forearm sometime before the game opening up a huge day for Maclin (still not bitter), and Plaxico scored as many points as he did last years week two...0. Just to make Pitz feel a little better, how funny is it to see after a few "trade rape jokes" at the expense of the Matt Cassel trade does Cassel score .32 points and then precedes to be dropped by Peach? This is why shouldn't always judge trades early on. Moral of the story is if Dez Bryant doesn't explode in the second half this may be a wasted season for Peach...who is our early candidate for #1 overall pick?

Do You Like Apples?? - AD - I hate that I always forget how many question marks are in his name. This week I assumed it was one because most weeks I put three out there and have to go back and delete one. Frustrating. Who does two honestly? Well I will just answer my own question, the guy who appears  to be dealing with his own Super Bowl hangover. To steal from Bill Simmons' Grantland "A Volatile Week in the NFL Stock Market" article; footnote 2:

Since 1999, eight of 12 Super Bowl losers missed the next playoffs; seven finished .500 or worse; and 10 failed to win a playoff game. Also, the 1993 Bills were the last Super Bowl loser to win two playoff games the following postseason. Only the '72 Dolphins and '71 Cowboys have won Super Bowls after losing the Super Bowl the previous year. Do I wish I knew these things before I picked Pittsburgh to win Super Bowl XLVI? Ummmm … yes. Yes I do.

Is this trend going to carry weight in the IDP also? What an exciting stat for Dan and Pitz to track!!! Though I will sympathize with AD this week. I had Jamaal Charles in my "Best of the Rest" Catches Cup team and I'm pretty much done now thanks to the season ending knee injury. I can't possibly understand the sting of losing my favorite non-Ravens player so I tried to picture Jahvid on a stretcher and I started sounding like Alec when he realized Tommy won't be his forever. I hope AD is unconsoleable until Tuesday where I will only then start to help him cope, no sooner. 


So real quick just to bring to everyone's attention this week is FIFA challenge week. Dan vrs Pitz and Death vrs Hittner each have the stipulation that the loser has to purchase FIFA12 for the winner (hence why I'm not really being friendly with Hittner till Tuesday). If anyone else wants to get in on the action feel free to discuss it with your opponent because well it was really exciting last year and I'm sure it will be even more so this week. How am I so sure? Oh well, just cause if don't know where six of us are...


Mmmmm you can find me in St. Louie Where the gun play ring all day Some got jobs and some sell yay' Others just smoke and fuck all day - Nelly (like you didnt know that)

Dan's Week 2 Picks

Disclaimer notice. The words written below are the beliefs of Dan Clemson and Dan Clemson alone. The ideals are not a reflection of the creator of this blog and said party should not be held accountable for these ideals. Thank you much and I hope you enjoy the show.

                                                                                                                     - Death

What a difference a year makes!  It's been only one week but already the standings from last year have been flipped.  The three highest point accumulators of last year are sitting in 10th, 11th, and 12th which includes the reigning Champion and runner-up.  Now I get a lot of flack referring back to previous seasons but it really has been a changing of the powers and even though this season looks like it will be a struggle for some of last years powers, I do enjoy the shake up.  Last week my fantasy team was knocking off the proverbial "rust" as were my predicting skills.  The two predictions I got right, Pitz over Death, because although it is a new season Death seems content to continually take chances on young talent (how's Daniel Thomas as your second overall pick feeling?) and scoring in the mid 80's.  I also picked the Stilt beating Peach outcome, which Stilt claims was "as easy as taking a retards lunch money".  Obviously Stilt is quite the activist for treating children with trisomy 21 or down syndrome equally.

Week 2 gives us two 0-1's battling it out to avoid the bottom of the table and one set of undefeated's attempting to strike an early fear in the league.

Dan's Match-up of the Week

Death v Dan

I don't usually like picking myself for match-up of the week but this is one that I star on my calender like when the Ravens play the Steelers or the Caps play the Penguins (you like that FOHS guys?  Because it's hockey related and you guys like hockey.... never mind).  Now Death and I may not have shown early signs of league domination, but this rivalry goes all the back to pre-school.  I don't like his FF philosophy's, he doesn't like that I always win, I'm distance, he's sprint, I'm conservative, he's extreme.  Both teams are coming off disappointing first week losses and need a win to keep Year 2 from spiralling into an 0-2 ditch.  If I have one thing on my side it's history.  In the previous 2 meetings I have won both, one resulting in the smallest margin of victory in our league, .88 points, and a Jonas Brothers license plate cover on the back of Death's explorer.  My only question for Death is: What is our bet?  We have two regular season games this year, I'm willing to listen.  

Oh yeah the pick......

W - Dan

L - Death

Peach v Will

Two other teams that lost last week and are off to 0-1 starts, at least Will didn't get called a retard.  Losing week one is not the only thing these teams have in common.  Both rely heavily on two key positions.  Will with Aaron Rodgers and Greg Jennings, Peach with his WR's (Peach I sent you an email and trade request, wtf man?).  In sporting terms the last time these two met would've been equivalent to a 3-0 football game.  You walk out of the stadium thinking "Shit, I just spent $100 a ticket for that".  Last year when these two met it was as if they thought they were playing golf.  Peach snuck away with the victory 54.22 to Will's 43.20, combining for the leagues lowest combine score of 97.42 points (Granted no individual teams beat that combined score in week 8 of last year, there were four teams above 95 points).  Will we see more of the same from last years meeting?  All signs point to.......YES!

W - Will

L - Peach

Alec v Kirby "Battle of Baltimore"

We really should have a wrestling belt with the reigning Baltimore team earning rights to it (Yes Death would be included in that "weight class".  Would Lars?  I leave that to you guys.).  Alec came out of the gates strong last week riding a great performance by Tommy Touchdown.  Kirby had high predicted stats that weren't lived up to and ran into an Adrian Titus that looked set to do nothing but RAMPAGE!  Either way you slice it Kirby faces a team for the second straight week with some form of the word "grundle" in their team name and that has to give you cause for concern.

W - Alec

L - Kirby

Pitz v Stilt "Engagement of the Engineers"

Both teams off to a tremendous start, this should be the match-up of the week but, too bad for you guys, I'm biased.  Week 1 saw Stilt put up a punishing 117.56 points (his highest score ever, thanks to Wes Welker), only to be outscored by Titus in the entire league, which led to more of Titus loving himself in the mirror.  Pitz was no slouch either with 20+ point performances from Vick and Forte taking him to 101.18 week 1 performance.  This is probably the most difficult to predict, either team could either explode or implode with their match-ups this week but I have to go with.....

W - Stilt

L - Pitz

Hittner v Jason

Didn't think I'd say this but, Jason actually has a solid team.  If he consistently puts up points like he did week one (99.12) he could be a very difficult to get a W against this year.  Guess I'll just sit and wait for him to drop Vincent Jackson to restore my faith in him and fantasy football.  Hittner, even though having a rough week one, is not to be taken lightly.  If you remember last year he had a slow start and ended the season demolishing the league in route to a 2nd place finish.  This will be a good test for his team taking on a team Jason obviously took a lot of thought into building.

W - Hittner

L - Jason

Titus v Lars

Winner of this one goes to 2-0 and off to a great start for year 2.  This isn't uncharted territory for Titus, he was here last year too.  Lars on the other hand is probably more concerned with this weekends EPL fixtures, I can't blame him, Cheslea v ManU, the 1 time a year I'm a Blues fan!  Unfortunately for us Titus looks to be the team to beat this year, but the real losers aren't us.  I feel the worst for his wife who has to endure an entire season of Titus prancing around the house in his underwear singing Right Said Fred songs.

W - Titus

L - Lars (But Arsenal will win so he breaks even)

 

Week 1 Recap

Well, that was hardly anti-climatic don't ya think? We wait how long to hear if there is even a season, then we finally get to submit keepers, then we draft before preseason even starts...I think we were ready for the season to begin. So here we are one week deep, and I think its fair to say we now know exactly how this season is going to end. See I'm not going to be one to say just how long this season is and how we can turn around this season if we lost, or how you need to keep your eyes on the prize if you won. I'm going purely with snap judgements from this weekend, and other things in life. Oh and please keep in mind everything I write here is 100%  truth. No way anything I saw below can possibly wrong, at all, ever.

- Dan and Hittner are the worst teams in the league. It's true, just look at the standings. The two worst performances come from the two teams who played in the championship. Crazy, next thing you know I'll be saying the team who finished third also looks like they are out of it....ah crap.

- Jason is playoff bound. I don't even have anything cute to add to that, Jason is playoff bound.

- The Chicago Bulls are going to win the 2012 NBA Championship, because of course there will be a season.

- Chad Henne will be a top 5 quarterback at the end of the season...and none of us will own him.

- Micheal Vick will remain perfectly healthy throughout the season.

- *HBO SHOW SPOILER ALERT* Tara will stay dead going into next season of True Blood.

- Pitz is going to remain undefeated this season. What is important about this is that he will get his revenge over Dan in week 3 and will have Fifa 12 paid for him by the former champ. Celebrate good times, come on!

- I will start to understand what Le Batard's Papi is saying by the end of this week

- Cam Newton will be a better quarterback then...well everyone not named Tom Brady.

- I will have to read way too many emails about Arsenal during this EPL season. Wait, that one is true...

- Peyton Manning and Arian Foster will have the same amount of points this season.

- People other then me and Jason will care that the new Spiderman is black/Hispanic.

- I will remember that you have to capitalize Hispanic.

- Will will have more wins in fantasy this season, then nights spent in the house he pays rent to. (Damn, that's another true one)

- Pittsburgh defense will score negative points for Kirby every week.

- Mark Ingram will get stuffed at the goal line 100% of the time  he is handed the ball at the 1 yard line with a chance to win the game.

- That will be the last time I mention Mark Ingram in a blog.

- I will skip Tutti Gusti Wednesday lunch this week.

- Titus WONT say something cocky this week.

- Lars will reply to an email.

- Peach may regret some of his draft picks as he goes 0-13 (Hmmm might also be true...)

- Stilt will cut his hair after his undefeated season still lands him a #3 seed

- I will never make mention about drafting Daniel Thomas in the second round

- Alec will trade Tom Brady for Rex Grossman

- Kirby will make a trade this season.

- I will repeat this bit again at some point in a future blog.

- And finally after years of being off air we will all get to see the return of the legendary Joss Whedon show FIREFLY!!!

TEAM BY TEAM RECAP TIME!!!

Grundle Stains - Adrian - By .04 points Titus starts the season as the number one team in the league. Two first round picks and some pretty solid keepers had Yahoo picking Titus as the guy who came out of the draft with the best team, and well after week one they may be right. A healthy Matt Stafford might just be the cure for Calvin Johnson. Two things about that last sentence I want to revisit. First Matthew Stafford gets picked on in high school, and constantly gets injured. Matt Stafford however reads War and Peace in a day. Matt Stafford drives Lamborghini in an Armani suit. Matt Stafford DOESNT MISS FOOTBALL GAMES BECAUSE OF A HANGNAIL. Moral of the story is Matthew should always be shortened to Matt. Take me for example, you know who calls me Matthew? My Grandmother and my boss. That's it. My mom calls me Matt, my guy friends call me Matt, and all women call me MattDeath (they somehow make it one word). I never tell people to call me Matt, it just happens. To be called Matthew takes work. You correct people, you stop them and tell them it's Matthew. This is all important. If Stafford starts going by Matt I'm going all in on the Lions. Call it the Joey/Joe Harrington phenomenon that Simmons brought up. Second part of that sentence we need to address is that Calvin Johnson needs some sort of cure. Look Calvin is a top 5 wide reciver in the league even if Kyle Boller, Jared Lorenzo and Jamarcus Russell fuse into a Gogeta type quarterback of terrible. Give him Matt Stafford and well he may score 20 plus points on a weekly basis. It also didn't hurt Titus that during the week of a payout to the kicker who kicks the longest field goal he has the guy who hits a NFL record for distance. Janikowski banged out a 63 yarder and contributed as one of the five players who scored  double digits for Titus. But now its time to talk about the big scorer this week. The Saturday before the Sunday opener I drunkenly admitted to Titus i was prepared to offer a first, third and fourth round pick for Ray Rice, Adrian told me he still wouldn't do it. Bet he is happy now. I mean due to the circumstance and the opponent i bet his opponent Kirby is happy with Ray Rice's 26 points. Ray was the man and took over a Ravens dominated win over the Steelers. Player of the week, since Haloti Ngata and Terrell Suggs can't be drafted in this league.

FreshPrincesofBelAir - Stilt - Why is this team plural? Who is the other Prince? Is there more then one person running this team? Is Stilt not going to forget to update his team every week because he has a partner in crime? Can I possibly do his whole recap in questions? Did anyone see Baltimore defense causing 7 turnovers and scoring 22 points against the Steelers? Was anyone expecting Wes Welker to tie an NFL record while scoring 28 points? Exactly how long did it take the Dolphins to decide they were cutting Bennie "I was the guy who got burnt by a white guy for a 99 yard touchdown" Sapp? How many of you thought I couldn't finish this section with all questions?

Grundy Grabbers - Alec - Remember how we all talked about how great Aaron Rodgers looked on Thursday? Yea me either. Tom Brady got busy! 35.98 points from Tommy Touchdown on Monday Night. Just wow. That alone would have out scored most of Will's total from last year, but Alec wasn't done there. His boy, who he had to have and you don't wait to draft a guy you have to have, Percy Harvin kicked off his 2011 season with just a kickoff return for a touchdown. Even with Donovan McNabb throwing for 17inches this week, Percy still scored 8.20 (sometimes you just gotta do it on your own). Reggie Wayne without Peyton still scored 16 plus points, and Adrian Peterson had an off day, only scoring 10.40. Yea, this team looks pretty good.

Gunners Treble - Larsen - Guess who Lars number one scorer was in week one. Give up? Tony Romo. Do you realize I had to talk him into trading me a third rounder for Romo? I hate when people are hesitant to make trades that help out both sides. I will give this to Lars, this is a game I never would have given him the chance to win. Beanie Wells was his second leading scorer for crying out loud. Beanie Wells!!! I'm trying my best here to be fair and give Lars his due for currently being the number four team overall right now, but by the power of Beanie I just cant. Look I love his wide receivers (Miles Austin 15, Anquan Boldin 13.4, Larry Fitzgerald 6.2) but if he is still, in the top four late in the season with Beanie Wells as his top running back well I'm going upstairs to my bath tub with a bunch of razorblades, alot of tears, and a picture of Jahvid Best. Just saying.

Just the Tip Drill - Pitz - Look I can take a loss. In fact I didn't like my chances going into this week, but what hurts the most is that the most dominant player on his team is a guy that should have never ended up on this team. Ask August 2011 MattDeath who should be the number one pick in this draft and his answer without hesitation would be "Matt Forte". Side bar, did you notice I didnt write Matthew Forte, nor has anyone ever called him Matthew Forte? I'M JUST SAYING!!! These things mean something, I swear. Matt Forte drops to Pitz in the draft, and then he proceeds to drop a steamy 21.8. Vick is the high scorer with 23.28, but whenever you get a 20 plus showcase out of a non quarterback you're giddy. Mike Wallace (10.7) and Brandon Marshall (13.9) were both spectacular, even more so when you take into account neither of them scored a touchdown and still put up those types of numbers. Ethier way this was a big win for Pitz as he continues to try and justify himself as a genius general manager, but personally I just look forward to more smack talk between him and Dan. It's become quite the highlight in my workday.

Wu Rule #1 - Jason - Do you know when Jason recorded his first win last year? I do. Week two. Feel's kinda anticlimactic doesn't it? I totally assumed he went 0-21 like 1988 Orioles style before his first win. Ethier way this feels so early to be talking about Jason, but should we have seen it coming? He was new to the fantasy world...sorry fantasy football world and has been paying attention to his team. In fact he has been paying too much attention to his team. How the hell did he know Nate Kaeding would end  his season on the first kick of the year? Kinda creepy. Wait, what is creepier is that he picked up castaway David Akers, or should I say 15 points during week 1 David Akers. Is this boy just lucky, or is he now good? I'm going to take the bitter route and say lucky. Why am I saying lucky and not good? I'm still bitter about the Marc Pitonzo write up. Jason passed on Matt Forte!!! Vincent Jackson racked up a total of 17 points LESS then Forte did. Awesome. The interesting part about Jason's schedule is that he goes up against Hittner (the 0-1 Hittner yes I know) who finished second last season. Can Jason possibly go 2-0 to start the season while beating the champion and runner up from a year ago? Oh sweet potato pie things just got exciting!!!

Crash and Burn - Will - I feel like it was a running theme last year, but Will needs to change his name. After the Rodgers/Jennings duo went off for almost 40 points I thought Will was going to fire off to a great start to the 2011 season. Sadly instead he just, well Crash and Burned back into reality. His team was solid, but lackluster efforts from DeAngelo Williams (3.60) and Knowshon Moreno(3.70), two of his three keepers, was his undoing.  I will tell you two things that didn't help, one being that the Chiefs were embarrassed in their home stadium and Thomas Jones only resulted in 0.3 points, but I'm pretty sure that was the lesser of two evils (still an evil don't get that confused). The big evil was Will starting Marcedes Lewis over "I drafted him really early" Jimmy Graham. Jimmy threw up a double digit spot to help justify Will's early reach on a guy, but Will repaid him with bench time. It's almost as if the fantasy gods see these things happening before they do, and make us suffer for such decisions (see exhibit a1: mattdeath week 2 benching Jahvid Best).  Ah well. Will was competitive, and for the first time in this leagues history you didn't need to scroll all the way to the bottom to read his recap. We call that progress.

Flounder Pounders - Death - Cedric Benson and his 18 points sit on the bench as he plays Mark Ingram instead. Not upset about that. Not even upset with Ingram's performance (even though he has to get into the endzone on that play). Not upset about dropping Dixon for Heap, it was the right play. Sound logic behind it. Now what steams me up, is Chad Ochocinco. Really? Really? Two targets? REALLY? I mean I knew I was gambling with Daniel Thomas, but with Ochocinco???? Ocho wasn't what made or broke my week, the unfortunate moves are responsible for that, but if this is a season long thing I swear I will stop following him on Twitter. That's right, you gotta hit him where it hurts!!! Positive side, did Jahvid Best start out the season in double figures??? I think he did.

The Tolbert Report - Peach - He isn't last? I figured this was a forgone conclusion? Ah well. Atleast Peach pushed through a trade at the deadline which got him two new starters for his team that accounted for 7.56 points. It only cost him a 6th round pick and Kellen Winslow (who scored 6.6 on his own). Ouch. Things could be rough in Kansas City and for the Report all season long. On a brighter note Peach's number one pick Dez Bryant scored 16plus, and his name sake, Mike Tolbert, had a great week scoring 27.3 both on his bench. But at least he has them, which you know, is kinda nice.

corn on the kolb - Kirby - If you followed Dwayne Bowe last year you will remember he would score 30 points one week, then 4 the next. This week he really went off and gave Kirby a solid 1.70. I'm not going to do legit research (way to late in this blog for me to care) but I'm confidently going to say that has to be the worst performance from a healthy starting keeper. Well that basically set the tone for Kirby as what used to be one of the highest scoring performer finds himself sitting in the bottom three to start the season. The curse of Micheal Vick continues. The Britt did give a valiant effort in the loss though scoring 25.6 points for Kirbo which I'm sure made him happy. The Pittsburg defense however scored a whooping -3.00 points, which lets be honest I'm sure also made him happy.

Do You Like Apples - Hittner - Yup this is around the time of the blog where fatigue starts to kick in and I'm pretty much running out of crap to talk about. Will and Jason I'm sure are used to their sections being brief, but the next two guys? Wow. I usually go off writing way too much about the first and second place teams (see above with the Matt Stafford rant under Titus' section). So to recap Hittner, MJD and Jamaal Charles scored double digits...thats about it.

First or Last - Dan - If Dan is second to last, or middle of the pack next week does he have to change his name back to Black Rice? What if we keep him in last place until he deserves to be back in first? I just won't be able to make sense of this name if hes in 9th place. Just one of those things that freak me out, like the texture of cranberry sauce or that guacamole is green. Tastes good, but green is weird with food. Remember when they came out with that green ketchup and everyone was freaked out about it? That's how I am with green food that should be green (veggies you're safe don't worry). Where was I? Oh right a week with a limited CJ2K and no Arian Foster I don't think this result surprised anyone, or should  it have? Dan was the one lucky soul who had his bench outscore his starting line up. Not the goal you're going for in this league, but hey any press is good press right? Or something like that.

Well week one is over and I think it's fair to say we all can't wait for week 2 to get started. Excited would definitely be the word. And speaking of excitement I had to find a great quote from Firefly after making mention of it earlier in the blog (ah, we were so young back then). So here's Captain Malcolm Reynolds and his merry crew signing us off....

Zoe: "No one's gonna force you to go, Jayne. As has been stated -- this job's strictly speculative."

Jayne: "Good. 'Cause I don't know these folks, don't much care to."

Mal: "They're whores."

Jayne: "I'm in."

 GOOD NIGHT!!!

Dan Clemson's Week 1 Predictions

The guest appearances keep on coming. Dan Clemson take it away....

 By the Numbers:   256

• The number of hours Pitz and Dan have spent in the IDP Google Doc.....257.
• The number of times Jason would have been iced in a full non-keeper draft.
• The number of times Titus looks at himself in the mirror daily and says, "You're amazing".
• The number of Nati Boh 40's Death will consume while watching the Ravens this season.
• The number of dollars Alec spends to get his hair "styled".
• The number of off topic emails Kirby will respond to this with.
• The number of times Peach caused us to say, "Dammit Donald!!" at the draft.
• The number of league emails Will deletes daily.
• The number of goals Lars will Arsenal score this season while not realizing the NFL is going on.
• The number of adoring nubile women that will be disappointedly waiting for Stilt in St. Louis.
• The ounces of hair gel Hittner goes through in a weekend.

But most importantly..... THE NUMBER OF DAYS WE'VE BEEN WITHOUT A FOOTBALL GAME WITH FANTASY IMPLICATIONS.  WELCOME TO YEAR 2 BITCHES!!

First up, the return of "Dan's Match-up of the Week"

Death v Pitz "The Commish v His Right Hand"

Like all the match-ups this week, these two have only met 1 time previously.  The result, the third lowest combined score all time, Death didn't even have to break the half century mark to take the W here, 74.40 - 46.44.  Both came out of the draft supremely confident with their teams this year.  Pitz has the advantage in the predictions department and with Death's team having a lot to prove.... I have to give the win to Pitz.

W - Pitz

L - Death

Hittner v Lars

Now the opposite of the previous two, the last time these guys met it resulted in the most combined points scored ever, with Hittner taking the W 137.64 - 113.14.  Hittner looks to be starting up right where he left off and Lars would be lucky to get an opening week W.

W - Hittner

L - Lars

"The Battle of the Computer Nerds" - Titus v Kirby

Another one on the top scores sheet, when these two met up last year they put up the second most most in league history, with Kirby taking the W 144.94 - 102.10.  Kirby looks to be the strong team again even with Yahoo claiming Titus had the best draft.  This one has to go to Kirby, look for him in the playoffs this year!

W - Kirby

L - Titus

Alec v Will

This match up came down to the wire last year with Alec barely edging out a victory by a mere 3.46 points.  Difficult to say who's going to win this one, looking at the lineups right now I have to give the edge to Will.  This could be the start to of a new beginning for Will, huge implications coming on the Thursday night game.  Either way, both of them are currently on 6 game losing streaks.... one will end, one will go to seven.

W - Will

L - Alec

Dan v Jason

The age of darkness is upon you all.  I sat through the off season terrified  with my running back situation, even contemplating a trade for SJAX (wtf was I thinking).   Good news for me, bad news for you all, is all is well with the Rice camp.  First victim, Jason Pack, picking up where I left off with a 33.60 point victory last year.  I'll buy you a 12 pack of Smirnoff in St. Louis to ice the pain away.

W - Dan

L - Jason

Peach v Stilt

This one is looking like a blood bath, neither team projected over 80 points!  Both looking to be formidable opponents this year, the top projected player for Peach being his SD defense, and it looks like Stilt will be hoping he can ride the Matt Ryan train into the playoffs again.  I wouldn't write a "Thank You" card to Samij anytime soon but it looks like Stilt might be able to sneak out a victory this week.

W - Stilt

L - Peach

The Adam Hittner 2011 Prediction page

Well, well, well look how we have grown. AD has expressed an interest in contributing to the blog, so ladies and gentleman for Chicago's made Adam Hittner opportunity knocks!

 Alright, so everybody else (ok just Death and Dan) get to share their thoughts regularly with the IDP world, so I decided to take a turn. What we have here are 15 Predictions for the 2011-2012 IDP Fantasy Football League (cue applause....) I intend to review at the end of the year and see how I did, even if nobody else cares!

Having never done this before, I don't really have a rhyme or rhythm to what I'm doing, just kind of throwing everything out there. I am 66 words into this and I have ALREADY gained a new respect for Death/Dan churning out entertaining, well thought out emails every week, (and of course Simmons and the TMR). My intention is to touch on a little bit of everything, and then to try to come up with some creative BS to help me get to 15 predictions. Why 15? Because I ran out of mediocre ideas! (sidenote: Pitz, if I incorrectly use commas or apostrophes, I do not care). TO THE PREDICTIONS!

Number 1:

The following teams will make the playoffs:

Grundle Stains...They are good, and deep, this guy has Marques Colston on the bench, with Joseph Addai...that's a #1 WR and a feature RB...asshole

Do You Like Apples?...Like there was ANY chance I wouldn't choose my own team? C'mon JC2K has a nice ring to it! And young Sammy Bradford will carry the team at times (but not from the bench in week 3)

Corn on the Kolb...He was hosed last year, repeatedly, you don't get that unlucky two years in a row, a good team that may be better, just imagine if he had Vick

Black Rice...The defending champs will absolutely be in the conversation this year. While perhaps not the favorites right now, when his RBs remove head from ass, life will be good...

Grundy Grabbers...Possibly the best keeper trifecta in IDP this past year, though he needs Peyton back to help out Reggie Wayne...ADP has to be the favorite right now for top scoring RB

Flounder Pounders...It will be a slow, painful start, but a young team with a lot of potential. When Ingram and Thomas start getting the bulk of carries they will take off. Also, I do buy the Jahvid hype, he can catch too, and Stafford has looked solid...his choice of Lions D could also be one of his better drunken mistakes ever...

Number 2:

They will be seeded as listed above...

Number 3:

IDP Draft 2012 Beer bitch honors will be bestowed upon...Peach...Poor guy has a crippled QB (and didn't he take him #1 overall because of durability?) and he starts two Running Backs who don't even start for their own teams. Get to him early and often Gents! Could be a tough year for the Peach. If he goes 0-13 does he get a special shout-out on PTI?

Number 4:

Losers of FIFAbet week. The FIFA challenge will be occurring in week 3 for those who partake...Predictions (for every game that week, just because)

Apples Over the Pounders (While perhaps Death's best shot at an early season W, some very favorable matchups on my side, and some very young RB's who do not get enough touches yet for the Flounder)

Black Rice Over Tip Drill ( a great set of matchups for both teams, will be high scoring)

Grundle Stains over Wu Rule #1 (a great team name in 1997)

Grundy Grabbers over the Gunners (too many G names here, seriously)

Corn on the Kolb over The Tolbert Report (I didn't even LOOK at the matchups for this one)

ThePrincess over Crash and Burn (that might not be Stilt's name, but I'm going with it anyways)

Number 5:

Biggest Improvement

Jason Pack will actually read e-mails sometime this year, and will not drop his highest scoring player...

Number 6:

Biggest Improvement (Record Wise)

Corn on the Kolb...I see a jump from 5-8 to 8-5 or perhaps even better than that...Two Underrated Rbs Gore and Hillis (fuck you to everyone who wouldn't give up a 3^rd round pick for him) WRs with HUGE potential the best TE in the game and a rookie who gets to play opposite of Roddy White. The best part about Kirby's team? He got Iced 3 times for trying to draft 3 players I had already taken!

Number 7:

Biggest Dropoff

Black Rice...Not because they aren't good, but because they might not be 11-2 good. Although one day soon ALL of his players should be alive and practicing...Play Dan EARLY in the season

Number 8:

Most Angry E-mails

Marc Pitonzo! Why? His team is definitely better, but it might not make a big enough difference. I still see him watching the Championship playoffs. But maybe that's because I don't buy Michael Vick replicating last year's hot streak for 16 games. My feelings on LeGarrette Blount change daily, and I hope Mike Wallace suffers a career ending injury...On the bright side Pitz ALREADY has two IR players, both rookie backup running backs.

Number 9:

Highest Scoring Player:

Aaron Rodgers...Ohh you tricky little Crash and Burn. Superstar QB, and his #1 receiver...Enjoy those double dips my friend...I got to enjoy the Aaron Rodgers experience for 5 weeks plus playoffs last year, and believe me, it was INCREDIBLE. He throws, he runs he scores, it's just incredible. And he brings back a healthy, freakish talent of a TE...If Will pays attention, he will be a factor this year.

Number 10:

Upset Alert:

Major Upset that WILL happen:

Week 1: Wu Rule #1 over Black Rice...a GREAT set of circumstances for Jason, great matchups for him, question marks at 2 RB spots and 2 WR spots for Dan...When they play again later in the year, this will be a blowout the other way, but in week 1, Mr. Pack should take down the defending champ!

I wanted to find more of these, but I also don;t want to do REAL research here. Just shooting from the hip! Just know I think both Jason and Will are going to be MUCH more “frisky” this year

Number 11:

Death starts out 0-4, and does not take it well. I predicted him for a playoff spot earlier, and his team will improve significantly over the course of the season. But it is a TOUGH early road for him. I think he can swing 6-3 or 7-2 to close out the regular season and challenge for the playoff spot. I gave him the #6 above, I am worried about that prediction now, but no need to change it.

Number 12:

Playoff Matchups:

Round 1:

Kolb over Flounder

Rice over Grundy

I truly believe that Alec's team is one of the best right now. But I don't think he will do enough via waivers or trades to improve it over the season, whereas Dan will. And while I believe Death's team will be strong later in the year, Kirby's team is awesome in my eyes, although his bench is frighteningly thin. A 3^rd string RB from the Redskins, and the Michael Crabtree experiment to not bode well as injury replacements.

Number 13:

SEMIFINALS:

Grundle Stains over Black Rice

Do You Like Apples? Over Corn on the Kolb

Titus' team bothers me, probably because I am sick of getting annihilated by him in Fifa, only to see him take over IDP. The beating he laid on Alec's team to end last year may be a small sign of things to come.

Also, I am hoping someone from Kirby's team gets hurt at some point, and then I can go to the Championship again.

Number 14:

CHAMPIONSHIP:

Fucking Titus... Grundle Stains over Do You Like Apples

1. The last thing we really need is to get drilled by Titus all season long. Those of us that play Fifa know the feeling. 2. I will be halfway to a Buffalo Bills level of achievement... Just like Lebron, the Apples can't win the big one...

Number 15:

Side Thoughts:

I will try to find at least one more way to circumvent the rules of fantasy football.

Death will threaten bodily harm to Alec before, during and after their week 5 matchup.

Pitz will somehow get 5 picks in the first 3 rounds of the draft again.

Kirby will NEVER make another fantasy football trade, the pain is too much to bear sometimes.

Jason will start players on Bye Weeks at LEAST 3 times.

Stilt will keep everyone from being destroyed by a nuclear reactor, but his fantasy football performance will suffer.

So what have we accomplished here? Well nothing really, I got to experience the feeling of putting my thoughts into words (NOT easy to do) and I got to make fun of other people in IDP. Hopefully a little reverse jinx magic has been pulled on Titus. That was really the main objective on this. I think the biggest point from all of this, in IDP it is VERY possible to go from the top to the bottom, or from the outhouse to the penthouse at lightning speeds. The bottom feeders of last year shall be playoff contenders, and playoff teams from the inaugural year may very well serve the beer at Alec's next year. Realistically, we have WAY too much fun with this fantasy football league, and I wanted to try to contribute a little something to it. Let the Games Begin!

Season 2 Draft Recap

Do you realize that I haven't posted anything since my "Twas the Night" parody? Seeing as how I wrote that before the championship weekend I really never did give Dan his due. Sorry about that bud, but lets be honest drinking out of the mug has to be more enjoyable then having a blog dedicated to your championship team. Atleast that's what I'm assuming cause its not like anyone else has had this problem, just Dan. Gotta give credit where credit is due, CJ2K was as good as expected, Arian Foster was a late round gem, and the Bronco connection of Brandon Lloyd and Kyle Orton carried White Rice to numerous victories. With all that being said now is the hard part, defending his title. Dan himself knew it wouldn't be easy and he made some offseason moves to try to improve the already best team in the league. No surprise that he kept Chris Johnson and Arian Foster, but what surprising was the trade of his first round pick to Titus for Philip Rivers and really solidify three top keepers. Now with 3 great keepers but only one pick in the first thirty five selections would Dan be able to have a strong enough draft to put himself in position to repeat? Is there way to tell how we all did at the draft? Well not really, that's what the season is for, but what I can do is breakdown the draft from my point of view and maybe insult some people every once in a while. So without further ado here is the season two draft recap and the return of the IDP blog!

Will - Keepers Aaron Rodgers, Knowshon Moreno, DeAngelo Williams - A lot of people questioned the move of Will not keeping Miles Austin, but with the number 1 overall pick in this draft Will went ahead and upgraded at the wide receiver position by selecting Greg Jennings. The one two combo of Rodgers and Jennings should keep Will enjoying watching Green Bay Packers games. Now Will obviously has to wait till pick number 24 before he could pick again and hopefully in that whole time all he could think about was that Jimmy Graham was going to be one of the best tight ends in the NFL this year. He may have been a reach at that spot, but with no 4th round pick he couldn't really wait. Snatching up Stevie Johnson next solidified Will's starting lineup for the 2011 season (just minus the flex spot). AJ Green in the 5th and Thomas Jones in the 10th were two other picks I thought Will nailed. All and all I don't know that this team is a contender, but I am a bit concerned that i may not be able to call them the Buffalo Wills this season.

Jason - Keepers LeSean McCoy, Ryan Grant, Jason Witten - With two running backs on his team and a stud tight end Jason decided that he needed a wide receiver and Vincent Jackson was the next best pass catcher on his board and he did that for the next round too bringing Mike Williams back to his stable. Not at all worried about the health of Ryan Grant this season Jason didn't worry about selecting a running back till the always reliable Jonathan Stewart (its been awhile since you guys have had to endure my writing, but I can assure you that was sarcasm). I did like Jason snatching up Matt Schaub in the 3rd to solidify the quarterback spot, but selecting Eli Manning two rounds later well, that's the Jason Pack we all know. So lets all raise a Smirnoff Ice or 7 and toast to Jason once again being a bottom feeder in the league. Cheers.

Larsen - Keepers Tony Romo, Larry Fitzgerald, Micheal Turner - While Jason and Will both had two running backs Lars was the first player who would be open to select any position other then quarterback. Of course it would make sense to select Matt Forte the best player available at this point, but no Lars wanted Miles Austin. Well I'm sure he could get a running back in the second round...no? Anquan Boldin! Well atleast he has his 3rd round pick...no? He traded it to Death! Finally Lars selects Beanie Wells, and this is before Ryan Williams season ended. If Beanie is a beast then Lars lucked out, but as of right now he looks like he is going to need to trade some draft picks to be a contender this year, which might be ok for him since its a lot harder to ruin a draft when you aren't the one making the picks.

Pitz - Keepers Mike Vick, LaGarrette Blount, Mike Wallace - You remember how last year Peach did something dumb and then Dan got a really good draft pick which lead him to the playoffs and an eventual championship while Peach missed out and had to stay home? BOOM! I can't believe it took me this long to make a Peyton Manning/Peach is stupid reference. I feel like Matt Forte going right here may be a move that helps bump Pitz up. I like the Brandon Marshall selection, and even the Ahmad Bradshaw picks in the second round. The Ryan Williams pick in the 6th could have been a good one, its unfortunate about the injury. Pitz definitely improved his team and with the strength of his keepers this could be a playoff bound team this year, but lets be honest this team is going as far as Vick takes them.Also can I be the first to point out that Pitz's team is the most gangsta of all of us? I mean he's got Blounts and Fortes!!! Boomslang!

Kirby - Keepers Frank Gore, Dwayne Bowe, Antonio Gates - In case you didn't know, which means that you haven't been reading my blogs, Kirby traded away his second round pick and Michael Vick  for Anquan Boldin (mention Kirby/Pitz trade rape and that's the second of the SDFR blog checklist) so he had to make sure he nailed the first rounder. Its hard to say there was a better player available at 5 then Peyton Hillis. Now I didn't realize how critical the second round pick was, until I saw Kirby's draft. Kirby then went to select Josh "I just win games in real football" Freeman, Kenny "the suspended" Britt, and Julio "Rookie Wide Receiver in a lockout year" Jones (side bar I do actually like this pick, more so to own him next year though). Kirby's draft did improve in the later rounds with good late fliers on Roy Helu and Mike Williams (Seattle), but I feel like there is just too many question marks to this team.

Peach - Keepers Peyton Manning, DeSean Jackson, Hakeem Nicks - Ok so Peach has the number 6 overall pick and hasn't had a quality running back since this league has started so naturally this guy takes a wide receiver.  Now I can't lie I had Dez Bryant as a target on my board...but not nearly as high as Peach did. Funny part about this pick is that only four backs went off the board before Peach selected again and he still ended up with a potential star back in Felix Jones. He did then select four more running backs (Mike Tolbert, Reggie Bush, Brandon Jacobs and Pierre Thomas) which sets him up to potentially have a decent stable of backs who could touch the rock on any given week...or maybe he just made another stupid first round pick. I won't hold judgment this time, but I am going to remind him that Peyton's neck is broken and that was in fact a stupid pick.

Alec - Keepers Tom Brady, Adrian Peterson, Reggie Wayne - Alec was one of the few of us who had four players whom he wanted to keep and so he wasted no time bringing Percy Harvin back to his fold. I feel I need to make fun of Peach for wanting Dez Bryant, but I can't knock Alec for wanting to grab "his guy" to his already balanced team. If there is a player you want, don't assume you will just be able to get him later. His draft isn't very sexy, but it could be very solid. Alec jumped on Vernon Davis to make sure he had a good tight end...but was able to get Cooley much much much later in the draft. Too early for Davis??? Yes yes it was. Now it wasn't Jimmy Graham early, but still early. Marshawn Lynch, Steve Smith, and CJ Spiller seem like they could be solid for Alec this year, I mean we all know their names and they have been associated with fantasy football in the past, but that was the past. All three of the players play on what the French call "God Awful Teams" (I won't even mention the uncalled for Redskin love), but again he was cooking us food all night so I think I'm going go easy on him and just say all three guys could be the lone shinning spot for their struggling teams.
Titus - Keepers Ray Rice, Calvin Johnson, Darren MacFadden - Up comes the guy with the most picks in the first two rounds. Secretly everyone hoped that Titus would do something like draft a quarterback and I dont know maybe a tight end or something in the first round...we just never expected him to do it! Now here's where its interested in watching how people draft. Titus clearly went need using his extra picks to set up the strongest starting lineup possible, and right now its hard to argue that there is a more intimidating team in the league. Though it is fun to notice that nobody outside of Charles Peach is hoping that Peyton Manning's injury isn't that serious more then Titus. In his first five picks three players are from the Colts and two of which need Peyton to throw them the ball. The James Starks pick could comeback to be a gem in this draft, same with handcuffing Micheal Bush...but this still seems like a potentially great draft came up a little short.

Stilt - Keepers Matt Ryan, Andre Johnson, Rashard Mendenhall - This team is interesting. First off the number one pick on this team failed a fitness test...and hes a running back. The next four players selected all have had some sort of major surgery in the last 2 years (Welker, Finley, Rice, Hardesty). They might all bounce back and have great years, or ya know, not. I do actually really like the Tim Hightower pick, but lets talk more about the picks I don't like. Braylon Edwards, failed a drug test, David Garrard, cut, Tony Moeaki, out for the season. I know all these things happened post draft, but Stilt's guy made fun of my first pick so I had to be harsh. Speaking of my pick....

Death - Keepers Drew Brees, Steven Jackson, Jahvid Best - Ok, remember what I said earlier about if you like a guy you take him? I really like Mark Ingram. I like Mark Ingram like Romeo likes Juliet, like Lennon liked Yoko, and like Jin liked Sun. Ummm I didn't mean to come up with all tragic couples, crap. Honestly I still love the Ingram pick, and getting Santonio and Ochocinco in the third. And yes I'm still pretty happy with the late round flier on Cedric Benson. Now about that Daniel Thomas thing....it's like when you go out one night and get really drunk. You meet a girl and hit it off. Get her number, hook up that night, but slide out early in the morning cause you gotta go to work. Well you go all day thinking about the girl and you decide to show her off to your friends. Well oh crap, shes bigger then you remember! Now you're being judged by everyone, so you hide her...still hook up every once in a while, cause you know you still want to justify why it happened in the first place, but you cant take her out where people can see her!  Like ever. I really hope Daniel Thomas loses weight....

Hittner - Keepers Jamaal Charles, Roddy White, Maurice Jones-Drew - Perks of the wrap around, pick up two parts you need back to back. Hittner didn't have the wrap around so he just settled on getting the two guys he wanted after Titus took a tight end and Dan drafted a player with the HIVY (more on that next). If you didnt know already Shonne Green was the player I originally wanted right before I took Daniel "Heart of Gold" Thomas, so of course that pick is getting full support. Honestly if this Brandon Lloyd is close to the player he was last year this could be one of the better drafts of any of us. Bradford should have a break out year and Danny Woodhead will be more consistent then anyone is giving him credit for. A few fliers on high end receivers (Manningham/Floyd) and this draft will be very solid. Oh, note for next year...AD likes to handcuff runningbacks.

Dan - Keepers Chris Johnson, Arian Foster, Philip Rivers - With only one pick in the first thirty five selections and keeping a quarterback and two running backs I think it's fair to say Dan was thinking wide receiver. What we all may not have expected was for him to be that aggressive with the pick. Jeremy Maclin probably goes in the first round had he not been diagnosed with AIDS right before our draft. Fortunately for Dan its just the HIVY and JMac should continue to provide that first round talent...but I'm pretty sure he has to leave the field if he bleeds at any point during a game, so that probably drops his stats a bit. After the risky Maclin move Dan didn't exactly make another splash instead going with solid players like The Law-Firm, and aging receivers Donald Driver and Deion Branch. There really isn't much else to break down with this team, if Arian and CJ2K do what they are suppose to do the rest of the team could consist of Scott Polyniak and Eddie Baum and Dan will be headed to the playoffs, so I'm going to tell a quick Owen Daniels story. Last Wednesday at my annual "Catches Cup" draft somebody took Owen and got the old "great pick, hes going to be the guy who breaks out this year" comment from another drafter. This prompted a third drafter to add "Owen Daniels has be the guy who is a great pick and is going to break out this year for the last three years and never breaks out". I think everyone in the room agreed with both statements, I honestly can't think of another player who is such an enigma. Ah well, here's hoping for hearing that statement next year.

This was going to be the part of the blog where I would actually rank the order of who had the best draft, the problem is I started writing this the week after the draft and I'm going to finish the day before the season. Walking out of the draft I thought Hittner, Pitz, and I had the best three drafts, now I'm not quite as sure. I wanted to say that Peach had the worst draft possible, but again I'm not so sure. This leads to my main point, we have no idea what the hell we are doing. We try to pretend that we do, "Of course Jahvid is going to break out", "I totally knew Arian Foster was going to be great, why else do you think I took him in the eleventh round", "I won't draft Bengals this year!", and well what ever random shit Jason says. You don't win the league in August (unless you pull Arian Foster out of your ass). There are going to be trades, waiver battles, midseason buyers and sellers, and plenty of idiotic drops by Jason. These are going to be the moves that decide the winner down the road, all you can do right now is set yourself up with a solid core that you can move forward with. Is Percy Harvin, Dez Bryant, Dallas Clark, Greg Jennings or Miles Austin a guy you can mount up with this season? I feel like Mark Ingram is, hope I still do in November.

The Drew Brees/Aaron Rodgers/James Stark/Mark Ingram/Greg Jennings show kicks off our second annual season in less then 24 hours, so the only quote I can think of comes from the old wiseman Lil John ...........


"LET'S GO!!!!"