Ok, so it took me a lot longer to get started on this weeks blog. Partly was because I had a lot of really fun things going on during the early part of the week, and the other...well I was still angry. If you haven't heard my sob story yet here goes. All games are over with the exception of the Raiders Broncos. If you have no idea what happened, I'll tell you. The Raiders MURDERED the Broncos. 57 points from the Raiders this week. Well with all other games done with the exception of this one I was beating Dan by 5 points (give or take, just go with me here for the sake of the story). 3 minutes left in the game. Redzone switches over and what do i see? All of the Broncos starters are still in the game! They are down by over 40 points!!! The Raiders? Well all of their players have been benched (including my Zach Miller who had 12.5 points in 2 quarters of playing time). Kyle Orton completes a 42 yard pass to Brandon Lloyd putting Dan 1 point ahead of me. The ball is on the goal and I realize i may have a chance yet. If Orton throws a pick here I still win! First down is a handoff for no gain. Second down drop back fade to no one. Third down play action throw across the middle TIPPED! Lands in between two Raider players. Forth down another pass is broken up but nobody wearing black and silver is there to snatch it. That's it. I lost. Everyone has thousands of stories like this. Its fantasy football you have no control over it. I didn't regret picking up Kansas City, they got me 14 points. Sure the Bears who I dropped scored 17.5, but I went with a matchup I liked more and it didn't blow up in my face. I went with Mason in the flex spot. Heap got 17.5 and Mason broke a finger. If Mason catches one more pass I win. But injuries happen. Drew Brees lost me 10 points due to his turnovers all damn day. Am I really going to blame Brees? No, there was something else here. I was mad not because I lost, but because of who I lost to. Dan! By the time South Park came on Wednesday night it hit me. Dan is the villain of this league. Nobody minds that Alec and Stilt have the same record, but everyone wants to see Dan lose. Why is this? Is it because Peach screwed up the whole draft and gave him Chris Johnson? Is it because he probably drinks out of the trophy mug as he thinks its already his? Is it because he brags about drafting Arian Foster late? Is it because he created Fifagate and has shown no remorse to ending Pitz's chance of being competitive in this league? Is it because he told me to go home and finish up the blog in response to an apologetic email?
Well, yes. Yes to all of them (maybe not the mug thing. I have no proof). Dan is the Yankees, the Duke, the Cowboys of this league, just without the legacy. Nobody wants to see him win this. Is it good for the league? Of course it is. There is a rooting interest to see him not finish in the money. Everyone wants to see him hand the trophy off someone else later this year! It's like this years World Series. The casual fan wants to see Texas and San Fran win. Had the Yankees been playing there is a villain to root against. Dan is like Darth Vader, and hopefully at the end of this season just like the end of Return of the Jedi, Dan will come back to the good side.
White Rice - Dan - See above. I can say no more.
Grundy Grabbers - Alec - Clever pun sent to Peach. What did the hand say to the face? Get it! Peach's team name is face, and Alec slapped him silly with 115 points. The Grabbers were the highest scoring team of the week with big games from his Vikings Adrian Peterson (23.2) and Percy Harvin (16.6). As impressive as those two were, the co-MVPs for Alec this week is Jay Cutler and Deangelo Hall. Jay was having a blast throw pick after pick to the once over hyped corner who has seemed to find a home in Washington's D. CJ Spiller had a terrible week, which is a bit surprising, he was the only player on the Bills not to have success against the Ravens.
Motor Boaters - Stilt - You motor boating sonofabitch. Just when we started assuming this team wasn't going to be able to keep fighting off the opposition and stay atop the standings, but here we are half way there and Stilt still is tied for the best record in the league. Matt Ryan had a field day against the Bengals and brought home 25 points for the motor boaters. Stilt also had some big performances from rookie Dez Bryant (23.4), seemingly rejuvinated (as Kirby and Will hate) Brandon Jacobs (11.5) and a good recent pick up Davone Bess (12.6). I still think this team isn't built for a strong showing in the playoffs, but I think Stilt wants us all to say that and let him continue to be the underdog who is 6-1.
Velour Fog - Titus - RunDMC had a great day scoring 43.6 points for Titus.....except he was on his bench! Am I going to rip into him for making such a poor decision? Absolutely not. Week two I left Jahvid Best on the bench and its been haunting me since. Have you looked at Titus' lineup for this week? I'll tell you, hes starting RunDMC this week. This was a big loss for Titus as the big 4 became the big 3 after this week's defeat to Hittner. The time for Ray Rice to prove his worth as the number 5 overall pick needs to start this week....only problem he is on the bench. Titus has to be rooting hard for another "tricky" performance from RunDMC. (That's just great writing right there!)
Do You Like Apples? - Hittner - This team is just catching fire right now! Is Hittner the one we can all rally behind this week? The only fantasy team I've seen that features fruit in its title seems to be making a run at a title all its own. After the latest victory Hittner has won 4 of his last 5 match ups. Looking over his roster you have to like him continuing his good fortune. Roddy White is loving Matt Ryan's tunnel vision, Jamaal Charles is getting more touches, and Matt Schaub should be throwing to a healthier Andre Johnson. Don't look now but Kenny Britt has scored in his last 4 starts! Oh right the Kenny Britt guy, dont feel too bad for Titus, Hittner benched Britt this week and he only scored 40.5 points this week. Not bad.
nephew w/out the n - Kirby - Big big big big win for Kirbo. With this win he leapfrogs over a number of us and finds himself sitting in a playoff position. There has never been a question about this teams ability to score points and we saw that again this week as team FU put up 112 spot on Lars. Looking up and down the roster and this was an impressive showing for Kirbs. His lowest scorer was Randy Moss and he scored 9 points! I am also going to have to point out that Dwayne Bowe has now taken over total points from Wes Welker after another 20 point week. I dont regret the trade at all....but damnit...
Gunners Treble - Larsen - Lars is now 1-2 over the last 3 weeks, and his one victory came at the hands of Pitz. Fortunately Lars already owns Fifa. There is a lot not to like about this team. For starters who is the quarterback of this team? Both players Lars have will not be playing this week. I do like his runningbacks featuring Micheal Turner and LaDainian Tomlinson, but I think his receivers are just too inconsistent. Catch him on a good week and he will make you pay, but the longer this season goes I think we will see this team is not a true contender.
TheHeaphopopotamus - Death - Jahvid Best says the turf toe is 100% behind him. That plus Matthew Stafford's return makes me optimistic moving forward.
Face. - Peach - Scoring almost 100 points and still getting crushed has to be a miserable feeling. This defeat was the second in a row to Peach and has to get him to start scratching his head about what he has to do to get to the postseason. DJax head injury may become a bit of a problem if it turns out he is going to miss an extended period of time, since Lance Moore is such a question mark regarding his production. What is not a question mark is the performance of Ryan Torain. Torain has been a great addition to this team, even though it costed a very talented Jeremy Maclin, and right now is the lone bright spot for Peach. Oh and Peyton Manning. Idiot.
Crash and Burn - Will - Make that two wins now for Will. Will cracks the 100 point mark for the week and can even look to getting back to back wins as he takes on Pitz next week. No surprise here that Aaron Rodgers was one of the leading points getters for Will. I'm surprised that when he was looking for a team name he didnt name this team "Thank God for Aaron Rodgers". As good as Rodgers has been you can obviously see that he can't do it on his own. No he had help. This weeks Pimp Power Player is Knowshon Moreno. Knowshon was the loan positive for the Broncos as they got whooped by the Raiders this Sunday. Knowshon brought home 21 points and lead Will to his victory. The best part about this was that Alec originally had Moreno, but wasnt willing to deal with the hamstring injuries any longer and Will jumped on the opportunity to pick him up. Good waiver management deserves good things. Will, enjoy the victory.
ProtectYourNeck -Jason - 90 points this week actually worries me a bit about seeing him next week. Fortunately I wont have to worry about Joe Flacco who scored just under 20 points who will be on a bye. He has made some moves that is starting to give this team a bit of his own identity, and he played this week with 0 people on a bye week in his starting lineup. If you ask me that's just as good as a win in Jason's book.
Chaos Theory - Pitz - New name, same outcome. Trade deadline is Nov 12. I would talk to Pitz if there is a player you are looking for and a draft pick you're willing to part with. Sad but true.
See ya next time Space Cowboy!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Week 6
Another week down, more trash talk, and more ADS! Yes that is ads and not a misspelling of AIDS. Adsense has now gone in and this blog will offically be having ads run throughout. Kind of an exciting time, yes I know. I will keep everyone updated about the GIANT paychecks I get for these wonderful sponsors.
Did anyone watch this Sunday? Ok dumb question, sorry. Well since we all did can we talk about the most talked about part of week 6 in the NFL, HITS! Wow. Brandon Marriweather and Daunte Robinson were each fined $50,000 for their hits on Todd Heap and DeSean Jackson respectively. Oh and about the Robinson hit...he had to leave the game and may be out for this week as well. James Harrison may have gotten it even worse then Robinson though, $75,000 fine for his two hits on Cleveland players this weekend. Side bar; if Josh Cribbs ends up missing a lot of time then its true, GOD hates Cleveland. Well if you have turned on ESPN, listened to 105.7 or even checked out that show that Peach works on everyone is discussing are these hits/fines fair? Honestly I am all for penalizing people that go after Todd Heap with a cheap shot, and Steelers. With that said this is kind of a moot point for me, but if I were to go back over some of the hits I've seen this year in the Infinite Dena Power League, well now I may just have a topic now.
Hit #1: The League on Charles Peach - As everyone should know Peach has the first ever draft pick of the league that we should pass down to our offspring and keep going for all times (hence "Infinite"), and chooses to take Peyton Manning. Most rankings had Peyton going number 3....for quarterbacks. Obviously not a Chris Johnson fan Peach let him slide to Dan and the rest is 6 weeks worth of history.
Fair? - YES! Ok you can look at the numbers and see that Peyton has racked up the second most fantasy points in the league, having possibly his best statistical season ever, and will not be hurt over the next three years. All true. Well who has the most points in the league this year? AARON RODGERS, a quarterback taking later in the the same round. Who is next in points? Philip Rivers! After that Kyle Orton. This league is so stacked with quarterbacks that two players who weren't even drafted have put up MVP numbers (Orton and Vick). Once you sort through Yahoo and find their "actual" rankings the #2 player is of course Chris Johnson which Dan says thank you to Peach for. Who is first? Arian Foster. So we can all blame Peach's stupidity for Dan's dominance. TOTALLY FAIR!!!
Hit #2: Jason Pack's victory over Ryan Kirby - In a high scoring affair Jason out scores Kirby 110.66-96.24. Jason was the high score of the week and this represents his only win of the season
Fair? - Read that sentence again. "Jason was the high score of the week." Did anyone realize or remember this? Jason has started at least one player on a bye week and at one point even started a kicker who was just released. Jason right now is mad at me because I haven't traded him back Derrick Mason, because he didn't mean to drop him and I knew that he wanted him. Of course last week I offered him Mason for an 11th round pick and Jason said "NO"! Why did he say no? He didn't trust my end game. Kirby has since lost 2 of his last 4 games while never scoring less than 92. His only other loss? Week one to Pitz. I feel for you Kirby this hit is NOT FAIR!
Hit #3: Jason verse the Bye week - As stated earlier Jason has started a player who was on their bye in 3 straight weeks.
Fair? - Of course not. Should we really expect him to look at his team, do some research, AND change lineups? Come on, you cant blame him for not wanting to drop any of his players. They have gotten him to 1-5 this season.
Hit #4: Brett Farve verse the football - If you dont know what I'm talking about click here.
Fair? - Since he's making $25,000,000 this season, I bet Ziggy Wilf thinks it is.
Hit #5: Pitz verse Fifa 11 - Pitz lost back to back weeks (against Dan and Death) and in each week wagered a side bet where the loser had to purchase Fifa 11 for the winner.
Fair? - The best term of this season had to have come from Pitz after he played Dan. Remember Pitz and Kirby agreed to a trade in principle on a Thursday for Marion Barber for Mike Wallace. Well the trade never went through, but had it Pitz would have won due to number of points Mike Wallace racked up that week. After that game Pitz had named the week "Fifagate". In an effort to try and cut his losses Pitz went for the double or nothing against yours truly, and now I too get a copy of Fifa (though under much less controversy). Since Fifa gate Pitz has become the last place team in the League and the but of everyone's joke for the last 3 weeks. Not fair at all, though that doesn't mean we cant find it funny!
Hit #6: The eventual punch Jason lands on Scott Polyniak: Scott drafted for Jason, nuff said
Fair? - Yes and no. Jason has done an awful job of managing this team. The bye week mistakes and failing to make a big move yet he has to take a bit of credit for being so low in the standings. However, Scott taking Joe Flacco with the 13th overall pick (Rivers and Brady still available) may actually deserve a punch in the face.
Hit #7: Dan and Death's license plate cover bet: With Dan and Death going against each other this week there is a sidebet involved. The loser has to put on a license plate cover of the victors choosing till October 17, 2011.
Fair? TBD (I want TBD! Is that new?) If I lose I'm totally calling this unfair. By the way I have no idea if I am talking in the third person, or if Death is talking in the first. Obviously the sign of a great writer.
I'm sure I have left some good ones out but I do need to sleep and do something other than this blog at work, so lets just say "keep the hits coming" and head on to the team by team breakdown.
White Rice - Dan - No shocker that when Chris Johnson and Arian Foster have big days Dan is tough to beat. Even with two tough matchups at quarterback (Romo v. Minn; Orton v. NYJ) Dan went with Romo and was rewarded with 23 points. 120 total points against Jason should usually do the trick. Not much to get into here.
Velour Fog - Titus - I would not want to play this team soon. Next week Forte plays a Washington D who has been disappointing against the run, and Ray Rice who has started to get it going agaisnt Buffalo. Those matchups are great for Titus as far as sound numerical reasonsing, but thats not why I now fear this team. There was 0 reason for him to start a defense Monday night as he had already taken a 0.5 point lead over Death and had the week won. Why not just bench the defense and avoid the possible negative points and a loss this week? The fantasy gods wouldn't like it. The gods favored the bold move and rewarded Titus with 17.0 points. It may have also been that the Jacksonville Jaguars are the worst team ever and the god forsaken city has cursed me since its creation (Jacksonville was granted a team and the NFL denied Baltimore), but I'm going to stick with fearing made up gods for a fantasy football league. (I hope everyone was counting the number of times I switch between saying I and Death)
Grundy Grabbers - Alec - Whew! Another close one for Alec as he has been fighting his way through the bye weeks. AllDay Peterson and Tommy Touchdown (because the Ravens thought it would be fun to let the Pats back into it) Lead the way for the Grabbers who had a very pedestrian week. It will be very interesting to see what happens next if Cooley's concussion turns out to be more serious than the all-pro tight end claims it to be. Alec is already out Reggie Wayne and other than Peterson his running back match ups are nothing to get excited for. We said from the beginning of the season this team lacked depth, but yet here he still is at 5-1 and in third place still getting it done. Just don't know how long it will last.
Motor Boaters - Stilt - Know how we have been saying for weeks that Stilt is lucky? This week he was just good. 4 points behind Dan for the highest total of the week, Stilt's roster went off. Both wide receivers (Jennings and Johnson) were just shy of 20 points, and Mendenhall and Jacobs each scored over 15. That's right big weeks now out of Brandon Jacobs means this team could actually be a contender! Or it could mean the Lions D still isn't good yet. Davon Bess also gave close to 10 points to Stilt out of the flex spot. Moral of the story, if you need a wide receiver offer Stilt a trade.
Do You Like Apples? - AD - The streak comes to an end as Kirby was able to pull out a win. Malcom Floyd's injury, and Maurice Jones-Drew's lack of production presented the final dagger for AD who wasn't feeling overly confident coming into this match. NEVER TELL YOUR OPPONENT YOU FEAR HIM! Can't give Kirby that kind of advantage, he will exploit it every time. The one positive is that the Jeremy Maclin trade should contiune to be a big win for AD. Maclin went off this week with the injury to DeSean Jackson making the Mac-Daddy the #1 deep target for the Eagles.
Gunners Treble - Lars - Getting a win while being the second lowest score of the week is just sad. The worst is picturing this team this week if LT wasn't around. That guy has been carrying this team! One thing I would like to point out is that last week I pointed out who the top scores had been so far and mentioned that Shaun Hill was still homeless, and that noone was going to pick him up. Lars, an obviously huge fan of the blog, jumped at the tip I gave and tried to make me look silly. Oh those fantasy gods, they saw right through this and awarded Lars with a terrible week! Now what exactly did Pitz do to deserve this.....
The Heaphopopotamus - Death - Sitting at the bottom of 3-3 teams and right now out of the playoff race I remember when Jahvid Best scored 40 points on my bench. That 40 would have me above Lars and just a few points behind AD. I have a bad feeling about this moving forward. Best who was my golden goose of this draft hasnt put up double digits since that wonderful week 2 thanks to his turf toe injury (it is real!!!). This week is a perfect example of how Best is going to have to show up for this team to be a factor. Brees, Marshall and Jackson accounted for 51 of my 82 points. Hey! Rest of my team! Help!
nephew w/o the n - Kirby - Hey! Welcome back to the win column. This actually was a big win for Kirby as he has caught a lot of bad luck lately and really needed to get something going. Best part about this for Kirby....DWAYNE BOWE showed up. I'm very happy to do this for Kirby since D-Bowe had been a torn in his side all year after the Welker trade, but D-Bowe came out and got 22.8 points leading the F-U's to a vicotry this week. Congrats D-Bowe, you are this weeks power pimp player of the week!
Face. - Peach - Was surprised to see Peach give up Maclin so easily, though who is going to question after Torain put up a quality 22 plus for him this week in a losing effort (skins and fantasy). Face. had a good week totals wise, he outscored all but 3 players this week. Whoops! He played one of those 3. Sorry I'm starting to rush now so lets get going to the world of 1-5......
Crash and Burn - Will - Two weeks ago I refereed to this team as the Buffalo Will's because I didn't expect either team to ever get a win. Now he is moving up the rankings, has the highest scoring player in the league, and if he gets more then 1.2 points from the WR position he could have claimed to have gotten a win over Alec. It would appear the gods are beginning to smile on this team. Is Will about to become the team nobody wants to see? Probably not.
ProtectYourNeck - Jason - I've been hard enough on him this week, so I'll be nice. The girl Pitz brought to my house said in the car that she though you were really fun. I agree. Can't wait for Atlanta. All I got.
Meat Frog - Pitz - Well now if he just has 4 good weeks in a row he will be right back in it! 2 starting players didn't score a point, only 2 starting players scored more then 10 points, 0 players scored more than 15. Add that up and what do you get? Lowest scorer for the week. Pitz would like me to point out he picked up Deion Branch...and benched him this week. If he starts Branch over Carlson he does win this week. That's great about fantasy football though, a few if's here and there and your a winner. Unfortunatly for Pitz, it hasn't.
Quick shout out to Tom Bosley who died this week. I was a big fan of Happy Days when I could watch on Nick at Nite. Quality show that deserves all the credit it ever received. As Troy recently pointed out on Community "I saw a tv show where a guy literally jumped over a shark, and it was AWESOME!" Good bye Mr. C!
Did anyone watch this Sunday? Ok dumb question, sorry. Well since we all did can we talk about the most talked about part of week 6 in the NFL, HITS! Wow. Brandon Marriweather and Daunte Robinson were each fined $50,000 for their hits on Todd Heap and DeSean Jackson respectively. Oh and about the Robinson hit...he had to leave the game and may be out for this week as well. James Harrison may have gotten it even worse then Robinson though, $75,000 fine for his two hits on Cleveland players this weekend. Side bar; if Josh Cribbs ends up missing a lot of time then its true, GOD hates Cleveland. Well if you have turned on ESPN, listened to 105.7 or even checked out that show that Peach works on everyone is discussing are these hits/fines fair? Honestly I am all for penalizing people that go after Todd Heap with a cheap shot, and Steelers. With that said this is kind of a moot point for me, but if I were to go back over some of the hits I've seen this year in the Infinite Dena Power League, well now I may just have a topic now.
Hit #1: The League on Charles Peach - As everyone should know Peach has the first ever draft pick of the league that we should pass down to our offspring and keep going for all times (hence "Infinite"), and chooses to take Peyton Manning. Most rankings had Peyton going number 3....for quarterbacks. Obviously not a Chris Johnson fan Peach let him slide to Dan and the rest is 6 weeks worth of history.
Fair? - YES! Ok you can look at the numbers and see that Peyton has racked up the second most fantasy points in the league, having possibly his best statistical season ever, and will not be hurt over the next three years. All true. Well who has the most points in the league this year? AARON RODGERS, a quarterback taking later in the the same round. Who is next in points? Philip Rivers! After that Kyle Orton. This league is so stacked with quarterbacks that two players who weren't even drafted have put up MVP numbers (Orton and Vick). Once you sort through Yahoo and find their "actual" rankings the #2 player is of course Chris Johnson which Dan says thank you to Peach for. Who is first? Arian Foster. So we can all blame Peach's stupidity for Dan's dominance. TOTALLY FAIR!!!
Hit #2: Jason Pack's victory over Ryan Kirby - In a high scoring affair Jason out scores Kirby 110.66-96.24. Jason was the high score of the week and this represents his only win of the season
Fair? - Read that sentence again. "Jason was the high score of the week." Did anyone realize or remember this? Jason has started at least one player on a bye week and at one point even started a kicker who was just released. Jason right now is mad at me because I haven't traded him back Derrick Mason, because he didn't mean to drop him and I knew that he wanted him. Of course last week I offered him Mason for an 11th round pick and Jason said "NO"! Why did he say no? He didn't trust my end game. Kirby has since lost 2 of his last 4 games while never scoring less than 92. His only other loss? Week one to Pitz. I feel for you Kirby this hit is NOT FAIR!
Hit #3: Jason verse the Bye week - As stated earlier Jason has started a player who was on their bye in 3 straight weeks.
Fair? - Of course not. Should we really expect him to look at his team, do some research, AND change lineups? Come on, you cant blame him for not wanting to drop any of his players. They have gotten him to 1-5 this season.
Hit #4: Brett Farve verse the football - If you dont know what I'm talking about click here.
Fair? - Since he's making $25,000,000 this season, I bet Ziggy Wilf thinks it is.
Hit #5: Pitz verse Fifa 11 - Pitz lost back to back weeks (against Dan and Death) and in each week wagered a side bet where the loser had to purchase Fifa 11 for the winner.
Fair? - The best term of this season had to have come from Pitz after he played Dan. Remember Pitz and Kirby agreed to a trade in principle on a Thursday for Marion Barber for Mike Wallace. Well the trade never went through, but had it Pitz would have won due to number of points Mike Wallace racked up that week. After that game Pitz had named the week "Fifagate". In an effort to try and cut his losses Pitz went for the double or nothing against yours truly, and now I too get a copy of Fifa (though under much less controversy). Since Fifa gate Pitz has become the last place team in the League and the but of everyone's joke for the last 3 weeks. Not fair at all, though that doesn't mean we cant find it funny!
Hit #6: The eventual punch Jason lands on Scott Polyniak: Scott drafted for Jason, nuff said
Fair? - Yes and no. Jason has done an awful job of managing this team. The bye week mistakes and failing to make a big move yet he has to take a bit of credit for being so low in the standings. However, Scott taking Joe Flacco with the 13th overall pick (Rivers and Brady still available) may actually deserve a punch in the face.
Hit #7: Dan and Death's license plate cover bet: With Dan and Death going against each other this week there is a sidebet involved. The loser has to put on a license plate cover of the victors choosing till October 17, 2011.
Fair? TBD (I want TBD! Is that new?) If I lose I'm totally calling this unfair. By the way I have no idea if I am talking in the third person, or if Death is talking in the first. Obviously the sign of a great writer.
I'm sure I have left some good ones out but I do need to sleep and do something other than this blog at work, so lets just say "keep the hits coming" and head on to the team by team breakdown.
White Rice - Dan - No shocker that when Chris Johnson and Arian Foster have big days Dan is tough to beat. Even with two tough matchups at quarterback (Romo v. Minn; Orton v. NYJ) Dan went with Romo and was rewarded with 23 points. 120 total points against Jason should usually do the trick. Not much to get into here.
Velour Fog - Titus - I would not want to play this team soon. Next week Forte plays a Washington D who has been disappointing against the run, and Ray Rice who has started to get it going agaisnt Buffalo. Those matchups are great for Titus as far as sound numerical reasonsing, but thats not why I now fear this team. There was 0 reason for him to start a defense Monday night as he had already taken a 0.5 point lead over Death and had the week won. Why not just bench the defense and avoid the possible negative points and a loss this week? The fantasy gods wouldn't like it. The gods favored the bold move and rewarded Titus with 17.0 points. It may have also been that the Jacksonville Jaguars are the worst team ever and the god forsaken city has cursed me since its creation (Jacksonville was granted a team and the NFL denied Baltimore), but I'm going to stick with fearing made up gods for a fantasy football league. (I hope everyone was counting the number of times I switch between saying I and Death)
Grundy Grabbers - Alec - Whew! Another close one for Alec as he has been fighting his way through the bye weeks. AllDay Peterson and Tommy Touchdown (because the Ravens thought it would be fun to let the Pats back into it) Lead the way for the Grabbers who had a very pedestrian week. It will be very interesting to see what happens next if Cooley's concussion turns out to be more serious than the all-pro tight end claims it to be. Alec is already out Reggie Wayne and other than Peterson his running back match ups are nothing to get excited for. We said from the beginning of the season this team lacked depth, but yet here he still is at 5-1 and in third place still getting it done. Just don't know how long it will last.
Motor Boaters - Stilt - Know how we have been saying for weeks that Stilt is lucky? This week he was just good. 4 points behind Dan for the highest total of the week, Stilt's roster went off. Both wide receivers (Jennings and Johnson) were just shy of 20 points, and Mendenhall and Jacobs each scored over 15. That's right big weeks now out of Brandon Jacobs means this team could actually be a contender! Or it could mean the Lions D still isn't good yet. Davon Bess also gave close to 10 points to Stilt out of the flex spot. Moral of the story, if you need a wide receiver offer Stilt a trade.
Do You Like Apples? - AD - The streak comes to an end as Kirby was able to pull out a win. Malcom Floyd's injury, and Maurice Jones-Drew's lack of production presented the final dagger for AD who wasn't feeling overly confident coming into this match. NEVER TELL YOUR OPPONENT YOU FEAR HIM! Can't give Kirby that kind of advantage, he will exploit it every time. The one positive is that the Jeremy Maclin trade should contiune to be a big win for AD. Maclin went off this week with the injury to DeSean Jackson making the Mac-Daddy the #1 deep target for the Eagles.
Gunners Treble - Lars - Getting a win while being the second lowest score of the week is just sad. The worst is picturing this team this week if LT wasn't around. That guy has been carrying this team! One thing I would like to point out is that last week I pointed out who the top scores had been so far and mentioned that Shaun Hill was still homeless, and that noone was going to pick him up. Lars, an obviously huge fan of the blog, jumped at the tip I gave and tried to make me look silly. Oh those fantasy gods, they saw right through this and awarded Lars with a terrible week! Now what exactly did Pitz do to deserve this.....
The Heaphopopotamus - Death - Sitting at the bottom of 3-3 teams and right now out of the playoff race I remember when Jahvid Best scored 40 points on my bench. That 40 would have me above Lars and just a few points behind AD. I have a bad feeling about this moving forward. Best who was my golden goose of this draft hasnt put up double digits since that wonderful week 2 thanks to his turf toe injury (it is real!!!). This week is a perfect example of how Best is going to have to show up for this team to be a factor. Brees, Marshall and Jackson accounted for 51 of my 82 points. Hey! Rest of my team! Help!
nephew w/o the n - Kirby - Hey! Welcome back to the win column. This actually was a big win for Kirby as he has caught a lot of bad luck lately and really needed to get something going. Best part about this for Kirby....DWAYNE BOWE showed up. I'm very happy to do this for Kirby since D-Bowe had been a torn in his side all year after the Welker trade, but D-Bowe came out and got 22.8 points leading the F-U's to a vicotry this week. Congrats D-Bowe, you are this weeks power pimp player of the week!
Face. - Peach - Was surprised to see Peach give up Maclin so easily, though who is going to question after Torain put up a quality 22 plus for him this week in a losing effort (skins and fantasy). Face. had a good week totals wise, he outscored all but 3 players this week. Whoops! He played one of those 3. Sorry I'm starting to rush now so lets get going to the world of 1-5......
Crash and Burn - Will - Two weeks ago I refereed to this team as the Buffalo Will's because I didn't expect either team to ever get a win. Now he is moving up the rankings, has the highest scoring player in the league, and if he gets more then 1.2 points from the WR position he could have claimed to have gotten a win over Alec. It would appear the gods are beginning to smile on this team. Is Will about to become the team nobody wants to see? Probably not.
ProtectYourNeck - Jason - I've been hard enough on him this week, so I'll be nice. The girl Pitz brought to my house said in the car that she though you were really fun. I agree. Can't wait for Atlanta. All I got.
Meat Frog - Pitz - Well now if he just has 4 good weeks in a row he will be right back in it! 2 starting players didn't score a point, only 2 starting players scored more then 10 points, 0 players scored more than 15. Add that up and what do you get? Lowest scorer for the week. Pitz would like me to point out he picked up Deion Branch...and benched him this week. If he starts Branch over Carlson he does win this week. That's great about fantasy football though, a few if's here and there and your a winner. Unfortunatly for Pitz, it hasn't.
Quick shout out to Tom Bosley who died this week. I was a big fan of Happy Days when I could watch on Nick at Nite. Quality show that deserves all the credit it ever received. As Troy recently pointed out on Community "I saw a tv show where a guy literally jumped over a shark, and it was AWESOME!" Good bye Mr. C!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Week 5
So after a long awesome weekend I come home to watch Randy Moss and the Vikings on Monday Night Football. I take what i planned on being a quick nap only to wake up and see that its 12:30AM. Whoops. Not going to be able to recap what happened during any of the prime time games and since I worked the Ravens game I don't really have a good pulse on what happened this week in the NFL. So what the fuck do I write about? Well when Peach sent out the email that Peyton was leading our league in scoring it got me thinking, as we go into week 6 would we have drafted the same players if given a second chance? Well lets look over the first round of our draft and see who knew what they were doing and who didn't.
Peach has the first pick and based only on current fantasy points he selects Phillip Rivers. Rivers right now leads our league with 110.46 points, and was drafted by Titus in the second round 20th overall. Of course we all know who Peach really took with his first pick which actually leads us to Dan and his selection of....
Peyton fucking Manning! The longer the season goes the more and more it looks like Peach didn't completely drop the ball by taking Manning first. Petyon has already piled up 105.56 points this season and you have to assume he wont be slowing down anytime soon.
Alec is on the clock and originally drafted Adrian Peterson with the third overalll pick, this time around he is going to follow the QB trend and take the surprise pick in Denver quarterback Kyle Orton. Orton has already accumulated 101.22 points which has made Dan very happy. Get this, Orton was not even drafted! This has to be the steal of the league right now.
Stilt took the first wide receiver with the number 4 overall pick and changed the trend of our draft, this time he will follow suit and take the 4th quarterback in a row when he selects Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers has been the guy Will has been leaning on during his struggling season, but you can't blame his selection of the Green Bay quarterback with the #6 overall selection.
Titus is up now and will select the first running back of the draft in Arian Foster. Titus had originally taken Ray Rice and as all us Ravens fans know up until last week its been a frustrating season for the tiny running back. Well this week he finally blew up and maybe by the end of the season we can see Titus took the right guy. Lets get back to Foster and look at the fact that Dan took him in the 15th round! 165 players were taking before Foster and now he appears to be a keeper. Add that to Kyle Orton and its no wonder Dan has been the team to beat this season.
With the 6th pick in this fake draft Will is going to take a tight end from San Diego, Mr Antonio Gates. Gates has been a monster for Kirby this season after he was selected in the 4th round. Not often you see a tight end make this kind of impact in fantasy but after scoring 89.8 points you can see the former basketball player has done just that.
Hittner had to be happy to see with the 7th pick in the draft he was able to select Maurice Jones-Drew who was originally projected to be the #3 player taken. Well if he had the chance to do it over he may want to take another first round talent in quarterback Drew Brees. I love this pick, pretty much cause I took Drew two spots later, but he has been a solid player getting me 87.6 points so far this season. Oh yea, and their offense still hasn't gotten rolling yet.
Larsen stepped up with the 8th pick and took Micheal Turner who has had some injury problems to go along with his inconsistency. A safer running back pick here would have been LeSean McCoy. Get ready for this one....Jason has him! That's right, Jason has a good player!. Amazing. Looks like Scott didn't totally ruin his team. McCoy has scored 86.3 points for Jason which has to be 65% of all the points he has scored this season (Pittsburg D has scored the rest). I'm not sure whats more surprising, Jason with a good selection or an Eagles running back actually getting the ball (and not listed as questionable every week).
The commish is on the board now and is actually thrilled to see Chris Johnson has slipped to me at the 9th spot. I still think by the end of the season he will be the highest scorer, but right now his 84.4 points puts him 9th. Wait, I mean this guy is awful. Dan hes just going to keep slipping farther and farther down. Lets talk trade. I will help take him and his awful season off your hands.
Kirby is on the board and surprises EVERYONE by selecting Shaun Hill. Hill has scored 81.52 points this year and not only was he not drafted, but hes not even on a team right now! Gotta love seeing the back up quarterback for Detroit, who wont even be the starter at the end of the year, racking up points. This of course is a perfect example of why this draft is completely hypothetical. Even with Hill's numbers this season nobody is going to play him. Please.
Pitz is up next and has already come out and said that his selection of Cedric Benson didn't go as he planned. Had he selected Matt Forte instead, maybe his season wouldn't already be over. Titus selected Forte in the 4th round and has to be thrilled with this pick, especially after the week the young Chicago back had this week in a big win over Dan. It's ok Pitz maybe Matt Forte will be out one night drinking before a big game and you can convince Titus to kill, I mean trade him. Forget i mentioned murder....
Poor poor Jason. Car broke down, couldn't make the draft and Ryan Grant dies in the first game of the season. Had to see a shitty season coming from this team after that. Things don't get any better in the hypothetical try your luck again draft, Jason just took another injured player in Mike Vick. Hey, at least this draft isn't real, and you cant blame Scott for this shitty pick.
Just to recap here is how both drafts went:
Peach: Peyton Manning (actual), Phillip Rivers (new)
Dan: Chris Johnson (actual), Peyton Manning (new)
Alec: Adrian Peterson (actual), Kyle Orton (new)
Stilt: Andre Johnson (actual), Aaron Rodgers (new)
Titus: Ray Rice (actual), Arian Foster (new)
Will: Aaron Rodgers (actual), Antonio Gates (new)
Hittner: Maruice Jones-Drew (actual), Drew Brees (new)
Larsen: Micheal Turner (actual), LeSean McCoy (new)
Death: Drew Brees (actual), Chris Johnson (new)
Kirby: Frank Gore (actual), Shaun Hill (new)
Pitz: Cedric Bensen (actual), Matt Forte (new)
Jason: Ryan Grant (actual), Mike Vick (new)
Of the 12 players leading in fantasy points 3 were never drafted (Orton, Hill, Vick). Of the 12 new players only 4 were actually drafted in the first round (Manning, Rodgers, Brees, Johnson). Final note 7 of the 12 are quarterbacks, 1 tight end, and only 4 running backs. Of course we know this is a small sample size, and some players have had byes so of course their point total will be lower. I really hope no one was actually worried about any of that when they read this. Ah well, its fun to look back at things that don't matter, now lets move on to what does......RANKINGS BITCHES!
Velour Fog - Titus - Welcome to the top of the mountain sir. Ray Rice comes out of hiding, and Matt Forte makes everyone in Chicago forget that just last week they were embarrassed on national television, and Jay Cutler gets concussed like Mike Jungerheld after going for a headball. Everyone came to play this week for Titus' team, everyone except for Johnny Knox. I wonder if Knox wants to go into hiding. I bet people were forgetting all about that asshold Johnny Knoxville, and now they have a stupid 3d movie coming out. Cant you just see Jay Cutler making stupid jokes in the huddle towards Johnny? Seriously though I am only seeing that movie if Bam Marjera dies. Shit I will see every show for a week if I can have that pleasure to see that he is no longer on the planet. Good job beating Dan this week Titus.
White Rice - Dan - Yea, you never had a chance. Phillip Rivers puts up 22 plus and I didn't even mention him when going over Titus' team. No more undefeateds in this league, which is nice. Parody is good in the NFL and fantasy. Of course he did have 25 points from Brandon Lloyd on the bench....BUT THAT STILL WOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN HIM THE WIN. Having a beer with Dan on Sunday night he made mention that he needed to ice his asshole after the raping Adrian gave him. I bet he is still icing and may have to till Sunday.
Grundy Grabbers - Alec - Alec proclaimed he wasn't going to lose again, and even though he was losing to Jason going into MNFL his #1 guy Adrian Peterson was on the field and ready to carry him to....wait what? Percy Harvin? Thats the guy who has a big game? What about Randy Moss? Wasn't he suppose to steal all the catches? Big ups to Percy Harvin for having such an impact with all the drama hes been through this season....Jason may not feel the same way.
Motor Boaters - Stilt - It was so good to see everyone out on Sunday. Will, Kirby, Pitz, Dan and myself all mananged to spend time with each other. Stilt didn't want to. He came, saw the Ravens game and said fuck off to all of us. I found it to be rude. Sure he is going to come back and say "but Death i worked 24 hours straight", "i havent slept in 2 days", "I have to work again tomorrow night". Its always about Stilt, and that is why he lost to Will. The fantasy gods dont like when you shun drinking with league members. Actually i dont think that matters since others lost, but I was just upset I didnt get to see that pretty smile all night.....
Do You Like Apples? - AD - Boom! 100 points and a total beat down on a very depressed Meat Frog. Pitz has already come out and said hes looking to move parts. 2 fifas, and now a six pack appears to have broken the spirit of Pitz as he begins looking towards next year. Whats actually crazy about this match up is how little AD got from Matt Schaub. What happend to that guy? Oh right, no Andre Johnson. Yea that will change things...Big ups for Malcom Floyd, Ad has to be saying "its about damn time!"
The Heaphopapotomus - Death - I LOVE GOOOOOOOOOOOULD!!!! 18 points from my man Robbie Gould lead me to a big big win over the terrifying Ryan Kirby. I wont rub in anything else right now, but will throw it out there, who is around Sunday? I turn 27, and really that doesn't mean anything, but the Ravens are on and I'd love to drink boh 40's and cheer like we did last time the Ravens were in New England.
Face. - Peach - I think the gods love me right now. Earlier in the week Peach and I were discussing a trade around Mark Clayton and Justin Forsett. Well once Marshawn Lynch was traded to Seattle Peach said no, and now Mark Clayton is out for the season and Danny Amendola came up big. Now as far as players who actually counted for Peach's victory lets talk about Hakeem Nicks. This guy goes off, does nothing, goes off, does nothing, well unfortunately for Lars he went off this week. 25 points helped make up for Peyton's awful 8.46 performance against the Chiefs. A lot of adversity this week, but a big win this week keeps Peach looking towards the playoffs.
Gunners Treble - Lars - Lost by 2 points and got a goose egg from Jermicheal Finley. I feel for you, I really do. Every week there is a close game and why does it feel like Lars is always getting the raw end of those games? Ok maybe its not every week, but this is the second time Lars has lost by a margin of 2. Lars, i think its time to sacrifice something to the fantasy gods. You should probably send me a pizza or something so i can talk to them for you. I told you, they like me right now.
Nephew w/ out the n - Kirby - Whew. Huge sigh of relief that Dustin Keller missed Monday Night Footballs game just as I did. Kirbs was down 30 with Gore, Moss and Keller going. Moss and Gore each went over the 10 point mark....Keller did not. So happy to see that! Speaking of Monday night, has anyone seen this chick that Farve was sending pics of his junk to? So fine. What was she, just a secretary for the Jets? Damn man, we need to change our hiring process at the Orioles. I would def send her pics of my junk...
Crash and Burn - Will - Check this guy out! Last guy to get a victory and he gets it against a team that hadn't lost yet this year. Takes the guy forever to get a name, and now it seems he found one the fantasy gods like. Not only did Will win, but he jumped up 2 spots to 10th as oppose to 12th. Guess i cant call him the Buffalo Will's anymore...
ProtectYourNeck - Jason - Once again he starts a player who is on a bye week, and he lost by 4 points. Wow. "Live and Learn" Jason said to me tonight about the move. How long does it take before he has learned enough to put a good team together? The good news though is that hes not in last....
Meat Frog - Pitz - Ouch. 2 fifa bets, 1 six pack gone, 4 losses this season, and now hes in the basement. Is it time for him to blow it up and start going for next year? It will be interesting to see what he does. I won't continue bashing Pitz's terrible team here (what else would we email each other about?) but instead I'm going to announce Pitz as this weeks player of the week. What? He isn't even in the NFL. No hes not, but this also isn't a real award, so i can do what i want. Pitz gets this award this week in-spite of him being responsible for me seeing another episode of the Jersey Shore. Pitz has been a great pimp for me over the years always having single friends available, and as we all know Pimp'n aint easy. He came through again this weekend and for that, we thank you. So there you go Pitz, your fantasy team is terrible but you can at least tell people you are Matt Death's pimp power player of the week.
Ok now im off to get my Brett Farve on and send all of you pictures of my penis. See ya next week!
Peach has the first pick and based only on current fantasy points he selects Phillip Rivers. Rivers right now leads our league with 110.46 points, and was drafted by Titus in the second round 20th overall. Of course we all know who Peach really took with his first pick which actually leads us to Dan and his selection of....
Peyton fucking Manning! The longer the season goes the more and more it looks like Peach didn't completely drop the ball by taking Manning first. Petyon has already piled up 105.56 points this season and you have to assume he wont be slowing down anytime soon.
Alec is on the clock and originally drafted Adrian Peterson with the third overalll pick, this time around he is going to follow the QB trend and take the surprise pick in Denver quarterback Kyle Orton. Orton has already accumulated 101.22 points which has made Dan very happy. Get this, Orton was not even drafted! This has to be the steal of the league right now.
Stilt took the first wide receiver with the number 4 overall pick and changed the trend of our draft, this time he will follow suit and take the 4th quarterback in a row when he selects Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers has been the guy Will has been leaning on during his struggling season, but you can't blame his selection of the Green Bay quarterback with the #6 overall selection.
Titus is up now and will select the first running back of the draft in Arian Foster. Titus had originally taken Ray Rice and as all us Ravens fans know up until last week its been a frustrating season for the tiny running back. Well this week he finally blew up and maybe by the end of the season we can see Titus took the right guy. Lets get back to Foster and look at the fact that Dan took him in the 15th round! 165 players were taking before Foster and now he appears to be a keeper. Add that to Kyle Orton and its no wonder Dan has been the team to beat this season.
With the 6th pick in this fake draft Will is going to take a tight end from San Diego, Mr Antonio Gates. Gates has been a monster for Kirby this season after he was selected in the 4th round. Not often you see a tight end make this kind of impact in fantasy but after scoring 89.8 points you can see the former basketball player has done just that.
Hittner had to be happy to see with the 7th pick in the draft he was able to select Maurice Jones-Drew who was originally projected to be the #3 player taken. Well if he had the chance to do it over he may want to take another first round talent in quarterback Drew Brees. I love this pick, pretty much cause I took Drew two spots later, but he has been a solid player getting me 87.6 points so far this season. Oh yea, and their offense still hasn't gotten rolling yet.
Larsen stepped up with the 8th pick and took Micheal Turner who has had some injury problems to go along with his inconsistency. A safer running back pick here would have been LeSean McCoy. Get ready for this one....Jason has him! That's right, Jason has a good player!. Amazing. Looks like Scott didn't totally ruin his team. McCoy has scored 86.3 points for Jason which has to be 65% of all the points he has scored this season (Pittsburg D has scored the rest). I'm not sure whats more surprising, Jason with a good selection or an Eagles running back actually getting the ball (and not listed as questionable every week).
The commish is on the board now and is actually thrilled to see Chris Johnson has slipped to me at the 9th spot. I still think by the end of the season he will be the highest scorer, but right now his 84.4 points puts him 9th. Wait, I mean this guy is awful. Dan hes just going to keep slipping farther and farther down. Lets talk trade. I will help take him and his awful season off your hands.
Kirby is on the board and surprises EVERYONE by selecting Shaun Hill. Hill has scored 81.52 points this year and not only was he not drafted, but hes not even on a team right now! Gotta love seeing the back up quarterback for Detroit, who wont even be the starter at the end of the year, racking up points. This of course is a perfect example of why this draft is completely hypothetical. Even with Hill's numbers this season nobody is going to play him. Please.
Pitz is up next and has already come out and said that his selection of Cedric Benson didn't go as he planned. Had he selected Matt Forte instead, maybe his season wouldn't already be over. Titus selected Forte in the 4th round and has to be thrilled with this pick, especially after the week the young Chicago back had this week in a big win over Dan. It's ok Pitz maybe Matt Forte will be out one night drinking before a big game and you can convince Titus to kill, I mean trade him. Forget i mentioned murder....
Poor poor Jason. Car broke down, couldn't make the draft and Ryan Grant dies in the first game of the season. Had to see a shitty season coming from this team after that. Things don't get any better in the hypothetical try your luck again draft, Jason just took another injured player in Mike Vick. Hey, at least this draft isn't real, and you cant blame Scott for this shitty pick.
Just to recap here is how both drafts went:
Peach: Peyton Manning (actual), Phillip Rivers (new)
Dan: Chris Johnson (actual), Peyton Manning (new)
Alec: Adrian Peterson (actual), Kyle Orton (new)
Stilt: Andre Johnson (actual), Aaron Rodgers (new)
Titus: Ray Rice (actual), Arian Foster (new)
Will: Aaron Rodgers (actual), Antonio Gates (new)
Hittner: Maruice Jones-Drew (actual), Drew Brees (new)
Larsen: Micheal Turner (actual), LeSean McCoy (new)
Death: Drew Brees (actual), Chris Johnson (new)
Kirby: Frank Gore (actual), Shaun Hill (new)
Pitz: Cedric Bensen (actual), Matt Forte (new)
Jason: Ryan Grant (actual), Mike Vick (new)
Of the 12 players leading in fantasy points 3 were never drafted (Orton, Hill, Vick). Of the 12 new players only 4 were actually drafted in the first round (Manning, Rodgers, Brees, Johnson). Final note 7 of the 12 are quarterbacks, 1 tight end, and only 4 running backs. Of course we know this is a small sample size, and some players have had byes so of course their point total will be lower. I really hope no one was actually worried about any of that when they read this. Ah well, its fun to look back at things that don't matter, now lets move on to what does......RANKINGS BITCHES!
Velour Fog - Titus - Welcome to the top of the mountain sir. Ray Rice comes out of hiding, and Matt Forte makes everyone in Chicago forget that just last week they were embarrassed on national television, and Jay Cutler gets concussed like Mike Jungerheld after going for a headball. Everyone came to play this week for Titus' team, everyone except for Johnny Knox. I wonder if Knox wants to go into hiding. I bet people were forgetting all about that asshold Johnny Knoxville, and now they have a stupid 3d movie coming out. Cant you just see Jay Cutler making stupid jokes in the huddle towards Johnny? Seriously though I am only seeing that movie if Bam Marjera dies. Shit I will see every show for a week if I can have that pleasure to see that he is no longer on the planet. Good job beating Dan this week Titus.
White Rice - Dan - Yea, you never had a chance. Phillip Rivers puts up 22 plus and I didn't even mention him when going over Titus' team. No more undefeateds in this league, which is nice. Parody is good in the NFL and fantasy. Of course he did have 25 points from Brandon Lloyd on the bench....BUT THAT STILL WOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN HIM THE WIN. Having a beer with Dan on Sunday night he made mention that he needed to ice his asshole after the raping Adrian gave him. I bet he is still icing and may have to till Sunday.
Grundy Grabbers - Alec - Alec proclaimed he wasn't going to lose again, and even though he was losing to Jason going into MNFL his #1 guy Adrian Peterson was on the field and ready to carry him to....wait what? Percy Harvin? Thats the guy who has a big game? What about Randy Moss? Wasn't he suppose to steal all the catches? Big ups to Percy Harvin for having such an impact with all the drama hes been through this season....Jason may not feel the same way.
Motor Boaters - Stilt - It was so good to see everyone out on Sunday. Will, Kirby, Pitz, Dan and myself all mananged to spend time with each other. Stilt didn't want to. He came, saw the Ravens game and said fuck off to all of us. I found it to be rude. Sure he is going to come back and say "but Death i worked 24 hours straight", "i havent slept in 2 days", "I have to work again tomorrow night". Its always about Stilt, and that is why he lost to Will. The fantasy gods dont like when you shun drinking with league members. Actually i dont think that matters since others lost, but I was just upset I didnt get to see that pretty smile all night.....
Do You Like Apples? - AD - Boom! 100 points and a total beat down on a very depressed Meat Frog. Pitz has already come out and said hes looking to move parts. 2 fifas, and now a six pack appears to have broken the spirit of Pitz as he begins looking towards next year. Whats actually crazy about this match up is how little AD got from Matt Schaub. What happend to that guy? Oh right, no Andre Johnson. Yea that will change things...Big ups for Malcom Floyd, Ad has to be saying "its about damn time!"
The Heaphopapotomus - Death - I LOVE GOOOOOOOOOOOULD!!!! 18 points from my man Robbie Gould lead me to a big big win over the terrifying Ryan Kirby. I wont rub in anything else right now, but will throw it out there, who is around Sunday? I turn 27, and really that doesn't mean anything, but the Ravens are on and I'd love to drink boh 40's and cheer like we did last time the Ravens were in New England.
Face. - Peach - I think the gods love me right now. Earlier in the week Peach and I were discussing a trade around Mark Clayton and Justin Forsett. Well once Marshawn Lynch was traded to Seattle Peach said no, and now Mark Clayton is out for the season and Danny Amendola came up big. Now as far as players who actually counted for Peach's victory lets talk about Hakeem Nicks. This guy goes off, does nothing, goes off, does nothing, well unfortunately for Lars he went off this week. 25 points helped make up for Peyton's awful 8.46 performance against the Chiefs. A lot of adversity this week, but a big win this week keeps Peach looking towards the playoffs.
Gunners Treble - Lars - Lost by 2 points and got a goose egg from Jermicheal Finley. I feel for you, I really do. Every week there is a close game and why does it feel like Lars is always getting the raw end of those games? Ok maybe its not every week, but this is the second time Lars has lost by a margin of 2. Lars, i think its time to sacrifice something to the fantasy gods. You should probably send me a pizza or something so i can talk to them for you. I told you, they like me right now.
Nephew w/ out the n - Kirby - Whew. Huge sigh of relief that Dustin Keller missed Monday Night Footballs game just as I did. Kirbs was down 30 with Gore, Moss and Keller going. Moss and Gore each went over the 10 point mark....Keller did not. So happy to see that! Speaking of Monday night, has anyone seen this chick that Farve was sending pics of his junk to? So fine. What was she, just a secretary for the Jets? Damn man, we need to change our hiring process at the Orioles. I would def send her pics of my junk...
Crash and Burn - Will - Check this guy out! Last guy to get a victory and he gets it against a team that hadn't lost yet this year. Takes the guy forever to get a name, and now it seems he found one the fantasy gods like. Not only did Will win, but he jumped up 2 spots to 10th as oppose to 12th. Guess i cant call him the Buffalo Will's anymore...
ProtectYourNeck - Jason - Once again he starts a player who is on a bye week, and he lost by 4 points. Wow. "Live and Learn" Jason said to me tonight about the move. How long does it take before he has learned enough to put a good team together? The good news though is that hes not in last....
Meat Frog - Pitz - Ouch. 2 fifa bets, 1 six pack gone, 4 losses this season, and now hes in the basement. Is it time for him to blow it up and start going for next year? It will be interesting to see what he does. I won't continue bashing Pitz's terrible team here (what else would we email each other about?) but instead I'm going to announce Pitz as this weeks player of the week. What? He isn't even in the NFL. No hes not, but this also isn't a real award, so i can do what i want. Pitz gets this award this week in-spite of him being responsible for me seeing another episode of the Jersey Shore. Pitz has been a great pimp for me over the years always having single friends available, and as we all know Pimp'n aint easy. He came through again this weekend and for that, we thank you. So there you go Pitz, your fantasy team is terrible but you can at least tell people you are Matt Death's pimp power player of the week.
Ok now im off to get my Brett Farve on and send all of you pictures of my penis. See ya next week!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Week 4 Recap
Sorry, yes this blog is coming out a day late. Yesterday I found out last minute we needed to clear out our storage space so I spent the whole day moving full file cabinets. I apologize for the inconvenience my job must have created for all of you. On the bright side you guys did get to spend an hour or so calling me lazy so that was fun. Anyway I'll have plenty of time to make fun of people in this weeks recap.
Last week I started this blog and immediately began complaining about the lack of drama going into the prime-time games, well the fantasy gods heard my request and they answered. The Monday Night Football game between Miami and New England held the fate of 6 of the 12 teams in this league! As Dan so graciously pointed out for everyone this was how things were looking going into the Monday Nighter:
Last week I started this blog and immediately began complaining about the lack of drama going into the prime-time games, well the fantasy gods heard my request and they answered. The Monday Night Football game between Miami and New England held the fate of 6 of the 12 teams in this league! As Dan so graciously pointed out for everyone this was how things were looking going into the Monday Nighter:
Alec needs 18.53 from Brady
Peach needs 8.61 from Ronnie Brown
Kirby needs 13.99 from Moss and Gostkowski
All were possible. It even seemed it was GOING TO HAPPEN FOR EVERYONE! Ronnie Brown starts off the game with an 11 yard run resulting in Hittner yelling "Not to him". Ronnie would then get another long gain where Hittner started yelling at the screen "NOT TO FUCKING RONNIE BROWN GODDAMNIT"! At the end of the drive Hittner left to write a paper. I'm wondering if he stayed and watched the rest of that game does Brown go off? Guess well never know, but we do know that Hittner is now 2-0 after beating Peach by 2.00 points which is now the closest margin of victory (Week 2 Stilt beat Lars by 2.08 points!).
Kirby was able to get 11.00 points from his kicker leaving meaning 3 points from Randy Moss and he takes down Dan. Well we all saw what happend. Brady hits Moss in the back corner of the endzone right before the half ends, and never throws to Moss again. Another heartbreaking loss to Kirby.
Alec and Tommy touchdown came up about 8 points short of catching Stilt who really should have been worried more about the power plant he was watching over instead of the game. Wasn't this a Simpson's episode? Homer watches football instead of the Nuclear Power Plant and it almost blows up? Well it probably will be next week.
It was great to see drama in important games this week, and I hope to see it continue moving forward. Speaking of moving forward......
White Rice - Dan - Welcome back to the top spot you lucky bastard. Chris Johnson is held to 4.40 points and Dan still gets a victory! Arian Foster may in fact be the real deal as he was a monster this week! 30.70 points this week pretty much out scored Pitz. Well Dan didn't stop there he finished with the highest point total this week and had a helping hand from Kyle Orton (21.74) and some surprising deep pass plays to Donald Driver (14.90). Dan isnt missing anyone this week and is looking to continue his reign at the top after his matchup with Titus.
Motor Boaters - Stilt - Survives the battle of the unbeatens and as far as i know we will survive Stilt not paying attention to any of the power levels at his plant. It is defenitly time for you to upgrade your phone and get the Yahoo! app. You know what, thats not the only place where he should probably upgrade. Stilt gets the victory this week after having the second lowest total of any winning team. I was a big fan of this team early in the season but if injuries to Andre Johnson and Pierre Thomas prove to be longer then expected this team is going to take a hit. Luck can only last so long.
Grundy Grabbers - Alec - Everyone from day one said this team would be affected by bye weeks, well this week was ugly. Facing a team that played two injured players the Grabbers couldn't grab themselves their fourth straight victory. Reggie Wayne provided another solid performance (17.50) but other then that Alec has to feel let down by his team. This team couldn't muster more then 65 points and was the third lowest scoring team this week. Next week this team has to play without Tom Brady and I would normally be concerned, but hes playing Jason as this may just be some luck returning the favor after Moss's dropped pass.
Velour Fog - Titus - After having to face Kirby's 140 point juggernaut last week, things got a bit easier as Titus could take it easy on poor ole Jason Pack. Funny story though. Talking to Titus earlier in the week I gave him my recommendation of starting Calvin Johnson over the other players he suggested. Having been a reader of my blog for a few weeks now Titus must know my knack of starting the wrong guy as he left Calvin Johnson's 20.80 points on the bench. Did it matter? Course not, he was playing Jason. Either way, a good win for this team to start getting back on track as he tries to ascend back to the top.
Do You Like Apples? - AD - Back to back wins puts this team in the play off picture. It was a climatic victory this week, and could be a season changing victory that really sends the team forward. Or it could be just a win in fantasy football since there is no chemistry in the fake locker room. What will be fun to watch is going to be my new "Peyton Hillis MVP Watch" coming over the next few weeks. Sure MJD finally gets going and lives up to the fantasy player he is suppose to be, but since Hillis has joined the Apples they haven't lost a game. What a great locker room guy!
Grunners Treble - Lars - So Arian Foster wasn't my player of the week, then it has to be LaDanian Tomlinson right? Well no, but damn LT where did that come from? 27.5 from LT, 20.20 from Live and Let Addai, and 17.30 from Eddie Royal shot this team towards a 100 point week and an easy win. This was an important win for a team that i thought was starting to fall apart. Maybe the guns still have some blaze left.
The Heaphopopotamus - Death - This team still hasn't hit its potential and it may start to look as though they are just a middle of the pack team. If thats the case so be it, got a free copy of fifa out of it! Zach Miller hauled in 11 catches and put up a 18.20 spot out of the tight end slot, thats something only the Gates and Clarks of the world do. Lets see if it can hold up next week with out any of their top WR's.
nephew w/out the n - Kirby - Yup this is the guy nobody wants to play. Wait, i have him next week? DAMNIT!!! Well I'm hoping to catch a little luck because ethier Kirby beats the ever living crap out of you....or you win. I mean Jason was able to beat him, and he only has a 1-3 record. Moving forward it will be interesting to see what the Randy Moss/Brett Farve duo does.
Face. - Peach - It would appear that Kevin Kolb behind center may dramatically decrease the productivity of DeJax and Maclin. Peyton Manning will continue to be solid, however if the two young wide outs don't put up bigger numbers this team may be in trouble.
Protect Your Neck - Jason - For all the ripping he receives its hard to forget that he isn't the worst team in the league. Lets be honest though starting a kicker who was cut and a rookie returner who was on a bye week was really really dumb! So I'm going to be positive here for once who was my player of the week???? JOE FUCKING FLACCO!!! I don't care that he threw the worst fade pass I've ever seen on 4th and 2, or that he had more ints then tds going into the 2 minute warning. That pass to Housh was beautiful. He looks like a more mature balanced QB. One that can lead us into the playoffs. So there's my homer pick for the week, because remember real football is more important then fantasy. Ray Lewis says so right before he blew up Saturn.
LawerencedayandtheMeatFrog - Pitz - Yap yap yap yap yap. A lot of talking before he lost to Dan. A lot of talking the night before he played me. Very quiet before AD. Looks like the Fifa bet is over...just like the chances of this team making the playoffs. The fire-sale this morning smells a lot like desperation.
HoushyourDaddy - Will - "Well atleast one of my fantasy teams is good" - Will Sunday night after seeing his other fantasy team go to 3-1. Who cares? This is the league that matters! This is the most important league in the world! This is the league that makes men and beer bitches! And this is the worst team in the greatest league ever. You are the Buffalo Wills.....
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