Twas the last week of Fantasy and all we could hear,
Was Dan at the draft drinking a mug full of beer.
He will play Hittner whose moves have been so smart to the last,
It's just a shame that when he wins AD's such an ass.
Last week they got their wins over Death and Stilt,
Who after their upsets should be proud of the teams they had built.
Those wins came over the strong Alec and Titus,
Whose emails sounded like they may want to fight us.
Pride to the players of the playoffs they reached,
The feat is not easy just ask Chucky Peach.
His wide receivers were as good as they come,
But he drafted a Manning first which we all know was dumb.
Kirby's team was quite strong and could hit like a blitz,
Though he still wasn't happy so he traded with Pitz.
He got Anquan Boldin for that quarterback Vick,
Looking back now he must feel like a dick.
Lars, Jason, and Will round out the rest,
These 3 teams by no means could be called the best.
Their draft, moves and trades were all really lame,
Who cares about these losers lets talk championship game.
Now Arian! Now Jamaal! Now Lloyd, now Green-Ellis!
On Wallace! On Roddy! on Cedric, on Peyton Hillis!
What quarterbacks to start? Whatever will they do?
Dan start CJ2K! AD play Maurice Jones-Drew!
AD's defense is the Giants of New York,
Hes hoping Justin Tucks hits have all kinds of torque.
Dan's d is up north where they serve chowder,
He should be in good shape thanks to Vince Wilfork's power.
Matt Bryant's been solid a good kicker indeed,
Dan has a question mark will he really start Jeff Reed?
Were reaching the finish, the end of the race,
Wait we cant end the poem what about 3rd place?
The winner gets money so this is still a fight,
Both players will be glued to their tvs on Monday Night!
Drew Brees goes to Atlanta to take on Matt Ryan,
If Pierre Thomas goes crazy you will see Death crying.
Td's will be scored by Steven Jackson, maybe Kevin Boss,
Brandon Marshall and Andre Johnson should also grab a toss.
Too many players to list so I will skip the rest,
I just hope for a point from poor Javhid Best!
There is another game that features Pitz and Jason,
They play each other in the final of consolation.
How much trash will they talk maybe even a bet?
Make it a good one and well care about this game yet!
It would seem they do have it better then Alec this season,
He still watches those Redskins, I just don't see the reason.
Titus had a few rough weeks and might have grown a twitch,
How many times can that guy scream "son of a bitch"?
I want to include more about Lars but what do I say?
The guy is so quiet did he just get up and go away?
Will is excited for next year, he starts it off with the number one pick!
Just don't take advice from Peach, he made his way too quick.
So much excitement to come in the one last week of fantasy,
I'm so happy we'll all be in Bethesda drinking a Boh 40!
It's been a great season so lets enjoy this holiday right,
Happy Christmas to all, now lets get drunk Sunday Night!
Editor's note* So I came up with the idea to do this poem during the week of Thanksgiving! I had been counting down the weeks making sure I didn't skip the Xmas week of games. I get online to read one of my favorite ESPN columnists, DJ Gallo, only to see he he posted this on Monday! Oh well. Great minds think alike right? Now time to break down the main match ups.
White Rice vrs The Heaphopopotamus
On Sunday I went home to Pasadena after working the Ravens game to watch my nephew meet Santa for the first time. In case you're wondering he cried his ass off the entire time St. Nick was there. On my way back up 695 I was doing the mental math, "if he gets 10 points from New England's d, then I need 20 points a piece from Woodhead and Welker. Maybe Woodhead busts an early run, or Welker gets to return punts and scores." Countless examples I'm creating in my head until I hear on the radio "Dan Carpenter misses a potential 40 yard game tying field goal. It was one of his four misses on the day." FOUR!?!? FOUR?!?!? HE MISSED FOUR?!?!?! Now I cant wrap my mind around this at all. This guy carried me this year. He should be going to the Pro Bowl. Did they get blocked? Was he kicking from 70 yards out? Is he missing a foot? Wait a minute, am I now driving down 97 south? DAMNIT DAN CARPENTER! That's right. I was so confused over my kicker that I had gotten off 695 and taken 97 south all the way back to 100 on my way back to Baltimore. I kinda hope that story describes my Sunday.
Early on in the week I was hoping for Kyle Orton to get benched mid game putting Dan at a huge disadvantage, well unfortunately the Broncos announced they would start Tebow and gave Dan plenty of time to adjust. The selection of Kerry Collins proved to pay dividends for Dan as the gray haired quarterback put up 16.28 points against Houston's terrible defense. That was just one of the many double digit scorers Dan had. Even though Arian Foster was held in check (6.10 points) CJ2K had 19.7 and Cedric Benson scored 21.0 points. Thanks Cleveland. I no longer take you seriously. Dan didn't need much more help after that. Death only had 3 players crack the double digit mark (Brees, Sjax, Brandon Marshall). I have already vented about Dan Carpenter, but I was pretty thrilled to see Pittsburgh's defense look terrible against the Jets. Putting aside all Ravens bias, did anyone see Mark Sanchez going that game with out a pick 6? Anyone? Rex Ryan and his crazy foot fetish both thought Mark was due for 3-4 dumb plays that would have scored points for me. And then there is Jahvid. Jahvid, Jahvid, Jahvid.....1.20 points. WHY CAN'T I QUIT YOU???? Shame the underdog run came to an end this week, would have been nice if it was at least competitive. Dan rolls easily to championship.
BlairWhiteProject vs ProtectYourNeck
nephew w/out the n vs Just the Tip Drill
Yea, you only one paragraph for both your games, since I'm pretty sure Peach and Kirby didn't care about these match ups at all this weekend. Jason though does seem to care, really random time to do so, but good for him since his team has caught fire since they have been ruled out of playoff contention. 6 of Jason's 9 players scored at least double digits, and he rolled all over Peach and set himself up with a spot in the consolation championship (which means nothing). Pitz secured his place in the championship after winning the "Irony Bowl" where Mike Vick scored 40 points, which would have been more then 50% of what Kirby scored this week. Every week when I do this blog I point out two things, 1) Pitz trade rapped Kirby and 2) Peyton was a dumb pick. Both of those teams lost the non playoff bracket. No surprise. One last thing for Peach, is it just me or the more and more you read his trash talk of "Damn, Peyton was a terrible first pick" does it start to sound less and less sarcastic and more and more regretful? Jason and Pitz come up with a good bet so we will give two shits about this game next week. PLEEEEEEASE.
Gunners Treble vrs crash and burn
The match up for who has the worst team in the league. Congrats Lars, its you. Shocker neither team could break 62 points. Well at least Will gets the number one pick, Lars just has a shitty team and drafts 3rd. You both suck, just in case you didn't know.
Do You Like Apples? vrs Motor Boaters
As I mentioned earlier I had a lot going on Sunday and unfortunately wasn't able to watch the games at all. What I was able to do is pay attention to the Around the League updates being played at M and T Bank stadium The first one I saw was a TD pass from Matt Ryan to Micheal Jenkins. 4 points for Stilt. After that, well I feel like every highlight I saw featured somebody on AD's team. Well, when I say someone I mean Jamaal Charles. 21.3 points tied Jamaal as the top scorer in this match up with another player on AD's team, Jon Kitna. Kitna was a hot commodity this week as our top two seeds both had quarterback issues. Had Dan been able to get him Stilt may have just been able to pull off a victory this week. Sorry buddy. Regardless of who else was available on the wire Hittner was going to start Maclin and White. And why wouldn't he? 15.9 for Jeremy and 12.5 for Rowdy Roddy made up the foursome that was able to lock this game up for the number two seed. I will say this for Stilt, unlike the Commish he was able to make this a bit of a match up. Matt Ryan, Andre Johnson, Kevin Boss and Rashard Mendenhall all scored over 11 points. Include the 12 points he got from the Jets defense in a big win over the Steelers and the 16 he got from Robbie Gould on Monday night and Stilt did have a pretty good week. Pretty good doesn't get you to the championship however. AD on the other hand will be going there, and that was after pedestrian performances from MJD, Peyton Hillis and Vernon Davis. Should be a great championship match.
Down to the last 3 games of the season (sorry, but the 9th place game doesn't count at all). One of which is pointless, one is for a few bucks, the other is for EVERYTHING! Games start tonight and I will leave you some advice in the words of the greatest Christmas song ever written! It's appropriately from "Twas the Night Before Christmas", you know the movie with the mice and the clock? If not watch it! Anyway.....
"...we'll do what's necessary cause, even a miracle needs a hand".
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Week 14 Recap
So the playoffs are intense! I mean who wasn't sitting on the edge of their seats when Derrick Mason caught his second touchdown pass of the night and brought Will within 75 points of Pitz? But seriously, playoff fantasy football is so vicious that it has lead to the divorce of Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson. Do you realize how big of a deal this is? Weren't they the it couple of Hollywood? Actually I'm asking at this point. Didn't even know they were married until I logged in to Yahoo just to check the scores. The only thing I knew about Johansson's love life was that she was supposed to have a late brunch or early breakfast with Vinny Chase about 6 season's ago. I assume Vince banged her and they called it a day. Speaking of calling it a day, I was debating back and forth about who I need to give attention to this week as far as playoffs go, since 4 teams didn't play, and 4 teams played meaningless games. So this is what I'm going to do. I'll throw a few bones out to the losers bracket, then give my breakdown of the 2 biggest games in our young league's history.
- Jason Pack was the highest scorer of the week. That means that regardless of who he played he would have won. Nobody scored more points this week then Jason. I keep repeating this because I don't believe what I'm typing. Could he actually be a player we need to worry about next year?
- Jason on Sunday night tried to get Pitz to trade him Micheal Vick for his first round pick. "No? Ok then how about my first round pick AND Joe Flacco? No? Why not? I want Vick! Still no? Fine, way to be selfish and not help anyone out." I don't think I'm worried about Jason as much.
- Larsen (not in playoffs) could have beaten Alec (number 4 seed) with 3 players; Micheal Turner (30.4), Brian Westbrook (17.0), and Matt Hasselback (13.7). Larsen lost to Jason. These two do know it is a little late to take this seriously now right?
- I don't think anyone has cared less about a game ever then how our entire league felt about Will vrs Pitz. Can Derrick Mason make up this 59 point deficit on Monday Night Football? No.
- I grow bored with the losers bracket very very quickly. Time to talk about real teams now....
The Heaphopapotamus vrs Grundy Grabbers - SUCK IT ALEC! Nobody runs their mouth more and produces less than the Grundy Grabbers (true fact I just made up)! Death's imaginary defense was strong again this week as Adrian Peterson was held to only 2.6 points making this week a cake walk. A week ago Peterson was good for 28. Tommy Touchdown and Reggie Wayne made their presence known, scoring a combined 33.36 points. For those of you scoring at home, yes that is 55.6% of his total points. Ouch. You could have added atleast 6 more to that total, if it wasnt for this play by Blair White. That total was almost passed by Pittsburgh's defense, aka the biggest mistake everyone else in the league made that did not pick them up. It sucks to watch Polamalu running back touchdowns when all I want is to see Pittsburgh lose, but remember I have been running with the Chief's defense most of the year. I'll take the upgrade. While there are others who have higher total points, I'm not looking to upgrade at the QB position. Drew Brees is a stud. I decided to look it up, and his worst week ever this year is week 4 where he scored just over 14 points. That was his worst week! Drew has only chucked up 25plus points one week, but I can pencil him in for a solid 15-17 on a weekly basis. As sad as it is to say I might get my second 25 plus this weekend if the Ravens play anything like they did in Houston (more on that later). I will say though that it was great to see good triumph over evil once again. Alec we all hate you, and I'm glad I'm the reason your eliminated. Danny Woodhead for life!
Velour Fog vrs Motor Boaters - Hi everyone, my name is RunDMC. I know I know, it seemed like I wasn't going to live up to expectations again this year, but my nickname is too cool not be talked about more often. So I said to myself "Run, what are we doing? We need to be killing it every week. Putting up the big numbers. I mean people want to draft Cedric Benson over us in fantasy football. COME ON MAN!" And thus the Play off miracle of how Titus won his first playoff game behind 38.9 points from RunDMC. Or at least so all of us thought going to bed on Sunday night. Well I was actually thinking about how scared I was of Adrian Peterson, but that's not the point. Going into the two Monday night games Titus was up 80.94 to 56.28. Titus had his first overall pick Ray Rice going, and Stilt had his first overall pick Andre Johnson, who Stilt took with Rice still on the board, and Brandon Jacobs (how many different teams have had this guy btw? how many different teams hate him now btw?). Well Jacobs had himself a day scoring 17.6 points, all of a sudden making this a closer contest. Then the Mano y Mano match up of first round picks. Andre Johnson vrs Ray Rice. Well at this point everyone knows what happened. Ray does everything but scores a touchdown and brings home 12.0 points giving Titus 92.94 points (2nd most among playoff contenders). We also know that Ed Reed forgot how to play defense on Monday and allowed Andre Johnson to score 26.0 points and giving Stilt 99.88 for the win! Back to Ed Reed for a second, that was honestly the worst game I've ever seen him play. Every Andre Johnson highlight you can see Ed just completely lost. On the last touchdown before the 2pt conversion you can see Ed actually defending the back pylon and nothing else. As angry as we all were that this happend I can just picture Titus sounding a lot like this.
So here we are the Final Four. Dan, Hittner, Death, Stilt. The bye's verses the underdogs. Dan and Death battle which is a pretty nice rivalry given the history, where as I don't know if Stilt and AD have met. I'm actually really interested in hearing who everyone is rooting for or against this week. I know Alec is rooting against me, but thats just cause hes a jealous hater with girl hair. Does everyone want the Jedi showdown of Dan and Hittner? Are you rooting for the 5 vrs 6 seed where Mark Reynolds would go agaisnt his Community Relations counterpart (too much?)? Maybe you want to shake it up. Dan would love to see an all SPY swimming final with him and Stilt (and beating me along the way would give him brain porn for a long time). What about an all Towson Track/Killa Beez match up with Death and AD? Maybe you just hate all of us at this point and have decided to quit playing fantasy football altogether (Titus)? Either way this week is going to be very exciting. Like I haven't been this excited for anything since I heard about the lesbian scene featuring Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in the new movie "The Black Swan".
Until next time always remember if the Airplane you're on gives you the option between steak or fish, always take the lasagna.
- Jason Pack was the highest scorer of the week. That means that regardless of who he played he would have won. Nobody scored more points this week then Jason. I keep repeating this because I don't believe what I'm typing. Could he actually be a player we need to worry about next year?
- Jason on Sunday night tried to get Pitz to trade him Micheal Vick for his first round pick. "No? Ok then how about my first round pick AND Joe Flacco? No? Why not? I want Vick! Still no? Fine, way to be selfish and not help anyone out." I don't think I'm worried about Jason as much.
- Larsen (not in playoffs) could have beaten Alec (number 4 seed) with 3 players; Micheal Turner (30.4), Brian Westbrook (17.0), and Matt Hasselback (13.7). Larsen lost to Jason. These two do know it is a little late to take this seriously now right?
- I don't think anyone has cared less about a game ever then how our entire league felt about Will vrs Pitz. Can Derrick Mason make up this 59 point deficit on Monday Night Football? No.
- I grow bored with the losers bracket very very quickly. Time to talk about real teams now....
The Heaphopapotamus vrs Grundy Grabbers - SUCK IT ALEC! Nobody runs their mouth more and produces less than the Grundy Grabbers (true fact I just made up)! Death's imaginary defense was strong again this week as Adrian Peterson was held to only 2.6 points making this week a cake walk. A week ago Peterson was good for 28. Tommy Touchdown and Reggie Wayne made their presence known, scoring a combined 33.36 points. For those of you scoring at home, yes that is 55.6% of his total points. Ouch. You could have added atleast 6 more to that total, if it wasnt for this play by Blair White. That total was almost passed by Pittsburgh's defense, aka the biggest mistake everyone else in the league made that did not pick them up. It sucks to watch Polamalu running back touchdowns when all I want is to see Pittsburgh lose, but remember I have been running with the Chief's defense most of the year. I'll take the upgrade. While there are others who have higher total points, I'm not looking to upgrade at the QB position. Drew Brees is a stud. I decided to look it up, and his worst week ever this year is week 4 where he scored just over 14 points. That was his worst week! Drew has only chucked up 25plus points one week, but I can pencil him in for a solid 15-17 on a weekly basis. As sad as it is to say I might get my second 25 plus this weekend if the Ravens play anything like they did in Houston (more on that later). I will say though that it was great to see good triumph over evil once again. Alec we all hate you, and I'm glad I'm the reason your eliminated. Danny Woodhead for life!
Velour Fog vrs Motor Boaters - Hi everyone, my name is RunDMC. I know I know, it seemed like I wasn't going to live up to expectations again this year, but my nickname is too cool not be talked about more often. So I said to myself "Run, what are we doing? We need to be killing it every week. Putting up the big numbers. I mean people want to draft Cedric Benson over us in fantasy football. COME ON MAN!" And thus the Play off miracle of how Titus won his first playoff game behind 38.9 points from RunDMC. Or at least so all of us thought going to bed on Sunday night. Well I was actually thinking about how scared I was of Adrian Peterson, but that's not the point. Going into the two Monday night games Titus was up 80.94 to 56.28. Titus had his first overall pick Ray Rice going, and Stilt had his first overall pick Andre Johnson, who Stilt took with Rice still on the board, and Brandon Jacobs (how many different teams have had this guy btw? how many different teams hate him now btw?). Well Jacobs had himself a day scoring 17.6 points, all of a sudden making this a closer contest. Then the Mano y Mano match up of first round picks. Andre Johnson vrs Ray Rice. Well at this point everyone knows what happened. Ray does everything but scores a touchdown and brings home 12.0 points giving Titus 92.94 points (2nd most among playoff contenders). We also know that Ed Reed forgot how to play defense on Monday and allowed Andre Johnson to score 26.0 points and giving Stilt 99.88 for the win! Back to Ed Reed for a second, that was honestly the worst game I've ever seen him play. Every Andre Johnson highlight you can see Ed just completely lost. On the last touchdown before the 2pt conversion you can see Ed actually defending the back pylon and nothing else. As angry as we all were that this happend I can just picture Titus sounding a lot like this.
So here we are the Final Four. Dan, Hittner, Death, Stilt. The bye's verses the underdogs. Dan and Death battle which is a pretty nice rivalry given the history, where as I don't know if Stilt and AD have met. I'm actually really interested in hearing who everyone is rooting for or against this week. I know Alec is rooting against me, but thats just cause hes a jealous hater with girl hair. Does everyone want the Jedi showdown of Dan and Hittner? Are you rooting for the 5 vrs 6 seed where Mark Reynolds would go agaisnt his Community Relations counterpart (too much?)? Maybe you want to shake it up. Dan would love to see an all SPY swimming final with him and Stilt (and beating me along the way would give him brain porn for a long time). What about an all Towson Track/Killa Beez match up with Death and AD? Maybe you just hate all of us at this point and have decided to quit playing fantasy football altogether (Titus)? Either way this week is going to be very exciting. Like I haven't been this excited for anything since I heard about the lesbian scene featuring Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in the new movie "The Black Swan".
Until next time always remember if the Airplane you're on gives you the option between steak or fish, always take the lasagna.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Week 13 Recap
All I wanted to do was talk about the really exciting really close game that put/eliminated one of us from the playoffs, and there wasn't one match up that was worth breaking down. Sorry, but Peach getting crushed on Monday night is hardly worth me dedicating an entire blog to. Instead I think I'm going to go another route. Right now would be a perfect time to reflect upon quite the enjoyable season. Some can do it positively, some with regret. In reverse order I'm going to go team by team and guess what each owner is thinking right now.
crash and burn - will - 2-11 - In all honesty this record would probably be a win or two better had he not traded Rodgers, but by no means was this a good team. In the last game of the regular season crash and burn had lost with Death still waiting to play Welker and Woodhead on Monday night. Twice this season Will set the record for least amount of points scored in a week. So how did he get here? Will came into the draft thinking "I want to leave with Aaron Rodgers", and hot damn he did. Unfortunately for Will he still needed to draft 14 more players, whoops, wasn't prepared for that. Will's second round pick is partly my fault. He asked my opinion and I told him "if Steven Jackson hadn't fallen to me, I was looking very seriously at drafting DeAngelo Williams". I was quite honest, but that is quite the swing in good fortune. His next two picks were wide recivers Miles Austin (solid pick) and Sidney Rice (OOOOOOH, wait....he's not the guy thats going to be injured all year is he?) When two of your top four picks spend more time on the PUP and IR well you cant be surprised that you are in last. On a positive spin for Will, he does have Rodgers coming back next year and the number one pick for next season. So thats nice.
ProtectYourNeck - Jason - 4-9 - Ugh. I want to bash this team so bad, but I just can't. 5 weeks ago, would you have thought this team would have had 4 wins? Remember in the middle of the season when Jason wouldn't even start full teams? I really want to rip his draft, but HE WASN'T THERE. That's probably what Jason is regretting more then anything else going into next season. Here's the weird thing. His team won the last 3 games he has played, and he has only made 13 moves this season. I'm not really sure what to make of Jason as a player. He could be someone to watch for next year, seeing as how he basically paid out $50 to experiment with fantasy football. He could also just have been really lucky over the last 3 weeks. Once thing that will be fun to see is how well he drafts next year, you know assuming I have been feeding him Svedka for 3 hours before his first pick and I convince him to give me the #2 overall pick for my 6th rounder and a bottle of vodka.
Gunners Treble - Lars - 4-9 - That's right. Not only did you tie Jason for the second worst record, but you ended up with the worse of the two draft picks. That is going to be a problem for Lars because if you look at how he drafted this year you can see he needs all the help he can get. Micheal Turner was a good pick. I have no argument there...but listen to the next 6; Larry Fitzgerald, Ryan Mathews, Joseph Addai, Vincent Jackson, Jermicheal Finley, Philly's D. Unlucky? At times. Poor decision making? Yeah, that too. Lars' draft did have one move that had everyone impressed, he did not take a QB until his last two picks. He had drafted Brett Favre before Favre had even decided to play. Gutsy, and at first it looked genius, then around week 3 it seemed pretty dumb. Lars will have an early pick next year, but looking up and down his team you have to wonder who are his keepers going to be?
Just the Tip Drill - Pitz - 5-8 - Did you ever think that by the end of the season that we wouldn't be able to laugh at Pitz and Jason? Makes me sad. Well unlike Jason, Pitz did do something to better his team. He brought in Micheal Vick when Vick was still a huge question mark, upgraded his draft for next year, and got rid of all of his Bengals and Cardinals which has to be good for something. This week Pitz handled Titus and moved him out of his cushy first round bye. He had big games from Vick (29.88), Branch (12.4) and Jones (10.7). The best part? Not one player Pitz started this week was on his roster week 1. Gotta know when to sell right?
nephew w/out the n - Kirby - 5-8 - All season long we made fun of Pitz's team, and praised Kirby's. Oh don't worry Kirby will be fine, its just bad luck. Well they ended with the same record. Guess he really did have bad luck this year. Kirby early on in the season rode the hot hand of Mike Vick, little did he know that was his team's MVP. The tandem of Eli Manning and Donovan McNabb just haven't been able to fill the void that Vick left on this team. Trading away his second round pick probably wont help his cause in reaching the postseason next year.
TheBlairWhiteProject - Peach - 6-7 - Hmmmm. What did this team do wrong? Strange. Seemed to do everything right. How did he not make the playoffs? What did he do? What did he do?
MotorBoaters - Stilt - 7-6 - Crazy last couple of weeks. This team was 6-1 going into week 8, then proceeded to drop its next 5 games! Matty Ice must have had a few games on the road. In Stilt's defense I don't know if there is a team who had to deal with as many injuries as he had to all year. Taking a look at his first 6 draft picks (Andre Johnson, Rashad Mendenhall, Pierre Thomas, Dallas Clark, Greg Jennings, Pierre Garcon) all but Mendenhall have dealt with some kind of injury throughout the season. I think that should be expected though if your going to draft numerous players named "Pierre". Well the team is starting to look as healthy as it can be (Clark is on the IR, and a different team) and ready to make a playoff run. Kinda fun to start talking about teams who did things right!
TheHeaphopapotamus - Death - 8-5 - Solid first two picks in Drew Brees and Steven Jackson, but after that there wasn't much help. Brandon Marshall and Jahvid Best are still on the team, but other then Todd Heap (who was his last pick in the draft. Not just a clever name) no other player he drafted is left on the roster. This team is a good example of how you can build a winning team through waiver wire and free agency, along with knowing right match ups (most of the time at least). Did anyone notice the upgrade to Pittsburgh's D? Thanks Jason!
Grundy Grabbers - Alec - 8-5 - Took two great talents in Adrian Peterson and Tom Brady who both slipped in the draft, and Alec has had a very good first season of fantasy football. He hit on other draft picks like Percy Harvin and Santonio Holmes. Has hit a bit of a hiccup right now as he has lost his last 4 games. I personally expect him to make that 5 in a row after this week. No reason to talk any more about this bitch ass.
Velour Fog - Titus - 9-4 - 2 game losing streak. What happended to all the good teams going into the final stretch? For Titus it would appear that his gem pick up of RunDMC (second best nickname in football, its why I can never write "Darren McFadden") has started to slow down, and we all know that Ray Rice gets lost on his way to the endzone. Know who doesn't get lost looking for the endzone? MEGATRON (best nickname in football, hands down). Calvin Johnson has been a beast, and kind of a steal in the 3rd round. Include Philip Rivers (2nd round) and Matt Forte (4th round) and there is no question in my opinion that Titus had the best first 4 rounds of the draft.
Do You Like Apples?? - Hittner - 9-4 - Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Hillis, Jeremy Maclin. What do these three players all have in common? They all start for the hottest team in the league right now, and none of them were drafted by Bill Murphy. That's right, Hittner is the second overall seed and didn't even draft his own team. Might be time to find another excuse there Jason. Hittner has killed the waiver wire all season ending up with other supporting players like BenJarvus Green-Ellis (yes he will be known as the Law Firm from now on in this blog), Stevie "Hands of God" Johnson (please notice that his name is Stevie, and not Steve), and even to a lesser extent Micheal Crabtree (I don't have a cute nickname or really needed to mention Crabtree, but I really wanted to name 3 players). Ok this is running long, just know Hittner's team is going to win.
White Rice - Dan - 11-2 - Just like Hittner, Dan took a decent draft and made himself a dominant team. Kyle Orton and Brandon Lloyd don't seem like much to get excited about initially, but the two of them have joined forces with Chris Johnson and Arian Foster to make this team the force that it has been. Unlike most teams backing into the playoffs Dan has still managed to run off 4 wins in a row and would appear to be ready for a strong playoff push. Earlier in the year I wrote a post about how Dan is similar to Darth Vader. Well right now I'm starting to wonder if Hittner might be Luke Skywalker. Stay with me. Hittner's team was no treat early on in the season, while Dan came out of the gates just destroying people. The two finally meet up in week 8, just like Luke and Vader meet in Empire Strikes Back. Dan won that match by cutting off Hittner's hand with a lightsaber (this is 100% factual). So now you get the feeling that while the rest of us battle (think of Titus as Han Solo and Stilt as Boba Fett, and Alec is the Death Star and I'm Wedge Antilles, oh yea I went there) the feeling has to be that the two Jedi will meet again ala Return of the Jedi. Only this time HITTNER is actually stronger, and is able to return Dan to the good side. Of course if CJ2K forgets to show up and the Denver offense starts to stall without Josh McDaniels, well then I will need to come up with a new movie correlation.
Well now that this post is done it's time to focus on the playoffs. After last nights game Titus has the big lead with 13 points coming from the right foot of Adam Vinatieri (so glad that I'm not typing about Reggie Wayne's huge day). It's put up or shut up time, or as Master Yoda says...."Do or do not. There is no try."
crash and burn - will - 2-11 - In all honesty this record would probably be a win or two better had he not traded Rodgers, but by no means was this a good team. In the last game of the regular season crash and burn had lost with Death still waiting to play Welker and Woodhead on Monday night. Twice this season Will set the record for least amount of points scored in a week. So how did he get here? Will came into the draft thinking "I want to leave with Aaron Rodgers", and hot damn he did. Unfortunately for Will he still needed to draft 14 more players, whoops, wasn't prepared for that. Will's second round pick is partly my fault. He asked my opinion and I told him "if Steven Jackson hadn't fallen to me, I was looking very seriously at drafting DeAngelo Williams". I was quite honest, but that is quite the swing in good fortune. His next two picks were wide recivers Miles Austin (solid pick) and Sidney Rice (OOOOOOH, wait....he's not the guy thats going to be injured all year is he?) When two of your top four picks spend more time on the PUP and IR well you cant be surprised that you are in last. On a positive spin for Will, he does have Rodgers coming back next year and the number one pick for next season. So thats nice.
ProtectYourNeck - Jason - 4-9 - Ugh. I want to bash this team so bad, but I just can't. 5 weeks ago, would you have thought this team would have had 4 wins? Remember in the middle of the season when Jason wouldn't even start full teams? I really want to rip his draft, but HE WASN'T THERE. That's probably what Jason is regretting more then anything else going into next season. Here's the weird thing. His team won the last 3 games he has played, and he has only made 13 moves this season. I'm not really sure what to make of Jason as a player. He could be someone to watch for next year, seeing as how he basically paid out $50 to experiment with fantasy football. He could also just have been really lucky over the last 3 weeks. Once thing that will be fun to see is how well he drafts next year, you know assuming I have been feeding him Svedka for 3 hours before his first pick and I convince him to give me the #2 overall pick for my 6th rounder and a bottle of vodka.
Gunners Treble - Lars - 4-9 - That's right. Not only did you tie Jason for the second worst record, but you ended up with the worse of the two draft picks. That is going to be a problem for Lars because if you look at how he drafted this year you can see he needs all the help he can get. Micheal Turner was a good pick. I have no argument there...but listen to the next 6; Larry Fitzgerald, Ryan Mathews, Joseph Addai, Vincent Jackson, Jermicheal Finley, Philly's D. Unlucky? At times. Poor decision making? Yeah, that too. Lars' draft did have one move that had everyone impressed, he did not take a QB until his last two picks. He had drafted Brett Favre before Favre had even decided to play. Gutsy, and at first it looked genius, then around week 3 it seemed pretty dumb. Lars will have an early pick next year, but looking up and down his team you have to wonder who are his keepers going to be?
Just the Tip Drill - Pitz - 5-8 - Did you ever think that by the end of the season that we wouldn't be able to laugh at Pitz and Jason? Makes me sad. Well unlike Jason, Pitz did do something to better his team. He brought in Micheal Vick when Vick was still a huge question mark, upgraded his draft for next year, and got rid of all of his Bengals and Cardinals which has to be good for something. This week Pitz handled Titus and moved him out of his cushy first round bye. He had big games from Vick (29.88), Branch (12.4) and Jones (10.7). The best part? Not one player Pitz started this week was on his roster week 1. Gotta know when to sell right?
nephew w/out the n - Kirby - 5-8 - All season long we made fun of Pitz's team, and praised Kirby's. Oh don't worry Kirby will be fine, its just bad luck. Well they ended with the same record. Guess he really did have bad luck this year. Kirby early on in the season rode the hot hand of Mike Vick, little did he know that was his team's MVP. The tandem of Eli Manning and Donovan McNabb just haven't been able to fill the void that Vick left on this team. Trading away his second round pick probably wont help his cause in reaching the postseason next year.
TheBlairWhiteProject - Peach - 6-7 - Hmmmm. What did this team do wrong? Strange. Seemed to do everything right. How did he not make the playoffs? What did he do? What did he do?
MotorBoaters - Stilt - 7-6 - Crazy last couple of weeks. This team was 6-1 going into week 8, then proceeded to drop its next 5 games! Matty Ice must have had a few games on the road. In Stilt's defense I don't know if there is a team who had to deal with as many injuries as he had to all year. Taking a look at his first 6 draft picks (Andre Johnson, Rashad Mendenhall, Pierre Thomas, Dallas Clark, Greg Jennings, Pierre Garcon) all but Mendenhall have dealt with some kind of injury throughout the season. I think that should be expected though if your going to draft numerous players named "Pierre". Well the team is starting to look as healthy as it can be (Clark is on the IR, and a different team) and ready to make a playoff run. Kinda fun to start talking about teams who did things right!
TheHeaphopapotamus - Death - 8-5 - Solid first two picks in Drew Brees and Steven Jackson, but after that there wasn't much help. Brandon Marshall and Jahvid Best are still on the team, but other then Todd Heap (who was his last pick in the draft. Not just a clever name) no other player he drafted is left on the roster. This team is a good example of how you can build a winning team through waiver wire and free agency, along with knowing right match ups (most of the time at least). Did anyone notice the upgrade to Pittsburgh's D? Thanks Jason!
Grundy Grabbers - Alec - 8-5 - Took two great talents in Adrian Peterson and Tom Brady who both slipped in the draft, and Alec has had a very good first season of fantasy football. He hit on other draft picks like Percy Harvin and Santonio Holmes. Has hit a bit of a hiccup right now as he has lost his last 4 games. I personally expect him to make that 5 in a row after this week. No reason to talk any more about this bitch ass.
Velour Fog - Titus - 9-4 - 2 game losing streak. What happended to all the good teams going into the final stretch? For Titus it would appear that his gem pick up of RunDMC (second best nickname in football, its why I can never write "Darren McFadden") has started to slow down, and we all know that Ray Rice gets lost on his way to the endzone. Know who doesn't get lost looking for the endzone? MEGATRON (best nickname in football, hands down). Calvin Johnson has been a beast, and kind of a steal in the 3rd round. Include Philip Rivers (2nd round) and Matt Forte (4th round) and there is no question in my opinion that Titus had the best first 4 rounds of the draft.
Do You Like Apples?? - Hittner - 9-4 - Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Hillis, Jeremy Maclin. What do these three players all have in common? They all start for the hottest team in the league right now, and none of them were drafted by Bill Murphy. That's right, Hittner is the second overall seed and didn't even draft his own team. Might be time to find another excuse there Jason. Hittner has killed the waiver wire all season ending up with other supporting players like BenJarvus Green-Ellis (yes he will be known as the Law Firm from now on in this blog), Stevie "Hands of God" Johnson (please notice that his name is Stevie, and not Steve), and even to a lesser extent Micheal Crabtree (I don't have a cute nickname or really needed to mention Crabtree, but I really wanted to name 3 players). Ok this is running long, just know Hittner's team is going to win.
White Rice - Dan - 11-2 - Just like Hittner, Dan took a decent draft and made himself a dominant team. Kyle Orton and Brandon Lloyd don't seem like much to get excited about initially, but the two of them have joined forces with Chris Johnson and Arian Foster to make this team the force that it has been. Unlike most teams backing into the playoffs Dan has still managed to run off 4 wins in a row and would appear to be ready for a strong playoff push. Earlier in the year I wrote a post about how Dan is similar to Darth Vader. Well right now I'm starting to wonder if Hittner might be Luke Skywalker. Stay with me. Hittner's team was no treat early on in the season, while Dan came out of the gates just destroying people. The two finally meet up in week 8, just like Luke and Vader meet in Empire Strikes Back. Dan won that match by cutting off Hittner's hand with a lightsaber (this is 100% factual). So now you get the feeling that while the rest of us battle (think of Titus as Han Solo and Stilt as Boba Fett, and Alec is the Death Star and I'm Wedge Antilles, oh yea I went there) the feeling has to be that the two Jedi will meet again ala Return of the Jedi. Only this time HITTNER is actually stronger, and is able to return Dan to the good side. Of course if CJ2K forgets to show up and the Denver offense starts to stall without Josh McDaniels, well then I will need to come up with a new movie correlation.
Well now that this post is done it's time to focus on the playoffs. After last nights game Titus has the big lead with 13 points coming from the right foot of Adam Vinatieri (so glad that I'm not typing about Reggie Wayne's huge day). It's put up or shut up time, or as Master Yoda says...."Do or do not. There is no try."
Friday, December 3, 2010
Week 12 Recap
So its been a busy week. I get back into Baltimore Monday late afternoon after celebrating Thanksgiving and then going away hunting for four days. Tuesday night I had to go to Safeway, since I had no food, then met up with Kirby and Jen for a couple of hours. Last night I had dinner with the fam and then had to play Fifa with Dan (thanks Pitz!). I get home and realize that I'm watching a NFL game during week 13, AND HAVEN'T RECAPPED 12!!! Whoops. Well then I panic because I have nothing to write about anymore thanks to Pitz and Dan. So thinking of Dan I realized I only go to the Eastern Shore for 2 things; 1) to visit Dan/go to beach, and 2) TO KILL WILDLIFE! How are those two things even close to related? Crazy. Well that wasn't even the craziest thing that happened this week, and now I have something to write about.
- Steve Johnson dropped a pass that would have won the game for his team, blamed God and then was PRAISED by the media for being so stand up about the situation. Really? If this was 100 years ago and somebody blamed God for a mistake weren't they deemed a witch and burned at the stake? Also when did we start calling him Stevie Johnson? Was there an actual conversation when he went up to somebody and said, "Look, I'm 25 years old. This "Steve" business just isn't my style. Can you call me Stevie like when I was 7? Thanks"
- The same media that praised little Stevie, RIPPED Derek Anderson for laughing during a blow out and then storming off in a postgame interview. Did anyone hear how the whole thing played out? We counted, the person who asked Derek "Why were you laughing?" asked him 12 times before he lost his mind. 12! After the 7th time Derek should have been allowed to throw the podium at him, laugh more hysterically than the Joker and scream THIS IS WHY I'M LAUGHING!!! Why does the media get to be so high and mighty and judgmental? Such a joke.
- Andre Johnson and Cortland Finnegan got into an all out brawl where punches were thrown while the players helmets were off. Needless to say both were ejected. What was strange was that nobody was suspended and both players were fined $25,000. Now, a $25,000 fine would ruin my life no question, but this is way to small of a punishment. Don't get me wrong I loved watching Andre beat the crap out of Cortland (also of all the receivers in the NFL to start crap with you choose Andre Johnson, really Cortland?), but the $25,000 fine for those two was the same as James Harrison's fine for tackling the quarterback. NFL needs to figure this crap out.
- Going into week 13 there is a possibility that there will be 3 white starting running backs in the NFL (Peyton Hillis, Danny Woodhead, and Toby Gerhart) and nothing seems weird about it. They are all good, but when was the last time this happened, 1935? When were blacks allowed in the NFL? Peach get Stat Boy on the phone!!!!
- The Baltimore Ravens top pass rusher came out this week and said that quitting cocaine is the reason for his resurgent season. He also claimed it was a joke, and I do find it hilarious, but ummmm should somebody maybe drug test Fabian Washington?
- I am terrified of Will this weekend
- A holding call that nullified a Ray Rice touchdown affected 3 of us this week. Titus got the loss, Peach stayed in the playoff hunt, and I couldn't clinch my playoff spot. Seems like the only team it didn't seem to bother was the actual Baltimore Ravens.
- Qatar is smaller then Connecticut and yet will host the World Cup, because they can provide air conditioned stadiums. Russia will also get to host a World Cup four years prior to Qatar. Has there ever been two more dramatically different climates? Add South Africa to this mess and you have basically a shower where someone flushed a toilet. HOT, COLD, HOT!!! (Yes I know South Africa was actually cold at this WC, but come on that joke was gold!)
- One last World Cup point. England was credited with being the Birthplace of Football/Soccer and yet they haven't hosted a World Cup since 1966! I also enjoyed FIFA claiming that the possibility of making money (which the US had the greatest capacity to do of any potential host nation) was not a factor in their decision, and yet you could actually see the voters counting their Qatar money! You could tell it was from Cutter, I mean Qatar, because of the oil stains on each bit of currency. (I don't know if this is true, but it makes me feel better.)
- I wrote numerous blogs earlier in the year about how terrible Jacksonville is (please notice I wrote "IS"). Now? They are in first place in their division after losing again! Why are we only talking about the NFC West?
All of these definitely provided for a crazy week in sports both real and fake, but nothing was as crazy as the phone call I had after my soccer game last night. Jason called me twice earlier in the day, so when I called him back you can believe my surprise when he said "I have been checking all of these emails all week so that I can read your blog, and you haven't posted one." Jason overnight apparently went from the person to ignore more emails about my blog, to my number one fan. Wow. I have no idea what to expect going into week 13, but I do know you can expect rankings to come next.....
White Rice - Dan - All but locked up the #1 seed with his win over Will. No surprise but the big days came from Kyle Orton (25.88), Brandon Lloyd (19.6), and Arian Foster (21.8). You know, I never really gave it credit before but Arian may be foreal. I have no proof or evidence, but I think his name is awesome. Reminds me of Marshall Faulk or Walter Payton. Just sounds like a nice shifty back. There. I hope my curse is now complete. Speaking of curses, wow is Chris Johnson inconstant. The 0.7 came at just the right time for Dan, but is he now worthless thanks to worthless Rusty Smith? We can all only hope so.
Velour Fog - Titus - Thanks dick! Yes we can all blame the Ray Rice phantom touchdown for Titus losing this week, but I'm just going to hold a grudge against him personally. Adrian put up his second lowest point total for the season and allowed Peach to squeak by and possibly into the playoffs. Remember all the RunDMC talk earlier in the season? Well since his 43.6 outburst he has scored 13.5, 9.4, 3.0, and 6.5 this week. Gradkowski is out for the season so the qb controversy in Oakland is over. Maybe that's what its going to take to get RunDMC running again.
Do You Like Apples? - WOW did he get up here fast. I thought the big 3 were basically locked up, but now Hittner has a chance to actually be the #2 seed! If Titus loses to the resurgent TipDrillers and Hittner is able to beat Alec he would jump in standings! Hittner has an 82.76 point lead over Titus right now, and you would have to think that he will hold the tiebreaker after this week. In his 4 game winning streak Hittner has been the top scorer twice, and the second leading scorer once. Yes, this is the team you don't want to play.
Grundy Grabbers - Alec - His record was 8-1 for the first 9 weeks of the season. Since then, 0-3. Must be nice to clinic a playoff spot before you do a complete tailspin out of control. As mentioned above Alec will be facing Hittner this week and can probably expect another loss. If the Colts (Wayne, Brown) can't get themselves together, and Adrian Peterson's injury proves to be serious I can see 0-5 in Alec's future, which would make this kind of a wasted season, right?
The Heaphopapotomus - Death - Hooray Adrian Peterson injury. Is there some kind of irony to Alec having the 'Skins D which injured his best player Adrian Peterson? Maybe. Is it possible that Dan Carpenter is actually Jesus Christ (17 points this week)? I'm not going to write it off yet. Did the NFC west really have 2 teams make it to the playoffs with 8-8 records? YUP, and they both went to the Super Bowl. I'm ok with being the Rams this year.
TheBlairWhiteProject - Peach - So I'm watching PTI on Tuesday and Tony is talking about Peyton Manning and his lack of weapons. He mentions Jacob Tamme and then talks about Blair White, or as Tony likes to call him "TheBlairWhiteProject". Hmmm. Did Peach rip off Tony Kornhieser, or Kornhieser rip off Peach? I would really like to know! What I do know is Peach has been playing the role of clever matchup gm and found a diamond this week in Maurice Morris (19.5 points). He won a low scoring game against Titus (the #2 team) and now has a match up for his playoff future against Dan (#1 team). Ohhhh you can cut the pressure with a knife!
Motor Boaters - Stilt - Wow. 7th? He's in 7th? So Stilt who was one of the 4 most dominant teams may not make the playoffs? Crazy. Right now Stilt is tied for the longest current losing streak at 5 games and going. Last week he actually posted his highest score....since his last win. Shame he had to face that Hittner guy. It will be interesting to see what he is able to do against Lars who was just eliminated last week.
nephew w/out the n - Kirby - Third highest overall scorer, 8th best record. Kirby's playoff hopes are dark, but at least they are still there. I mean he does still have Dwayne Bowe who scored 35 points this week. Oh if your wondering, yes that is over 42% of Kirby's scoring during week 12. Boy, Pitz really did do a number on this guy didn't he?
Gunners Treble - Lars - And then there was 4. Lars is out and looking forward to an early pick in what is probably going to be a pretty weak draft. His team of aging stars seems like they are about to start hitting the wall. LT is losing carries to Shone Green, TO may kill Carsen Palmer soon, and well actually Matt Hasselback had a pretty good week. At least he has Larry Fitzgerald for next season, although nobody knows who is going to throw him the ball.
Just The Tip Drill - Pitz - At one point was viewed as a lock for the #1 pick Pitz may now find himself at 5-8 as he rides out a stretch where he has won 3 of his last 4 games. The Micheal Vick experence has been good to Pitz (24.7), as was Deion Branch's Thanksgiving show (23.3), and not to mention the once a 4th stringer Mike Goodson (19.6). Yea....none of those guys were on his team to start the season.
ProtectYourNeck - Jason - Back to back wins, well if they win one more you know what they call that, a winning streak. Has Jason figured out this crazy game? Start the best players and good things may happen? Who knows? I do know he cannot keep complaining about the Joe Flacco pick. He was the second leading scorer for Jason this week (18.36) behind Nate Kaeding (20.00). What is up with these kickers?
crash and burn - Will - We need to host the draft next year at a bigger house, now that we know Will will be the one fetching all of our beverages throughout the night. Will had a pretty decent week, with Knowshon, Mason and Miles Austin all scoring over 14 points, but the combo of Jerome Harrison, Rob My Bironas, and Indy D got him a total of 2.6 points. An average of 0.87 per player. That's good, right?
Well happy final week of the regular season everyone. Time sure does fly when your wasting time on the waiver wire. Until next week know your role, and shut your mouth!
- Steve Johnson dropped a pass that would have won the game for his team, blamed God and then was PRAISED by the media for being so stand up about the situation. Really? If this was 100 years ago and somebody blamed God for a mistake weren't they deemed a witch and burned at the stake? Also when did we start calling him Stevie Johnson? Was there an actual conversation when he went up to somebody and said, "Look, I'm 25 years old. This "Steve" business just isn't my style. Can you call me Stevie like when I was 7? Thanks"
- The same media that praised little Stevie, RIPPED Derek Anderson for laughing during a blow out and then storming off in a postgame interview. Did anyone hear how the whole thing played out? We counted, the person who asked Derek "Why were you laughing?" asked him 12 times before he lost his mind. 12! After the 7th time Derek should have been allowed to throw the podium at him, laugh more hysterically than the Joker and scream THIS IS WHY I'M LAUGHING!!! Why does the media get to be so high and mighty and judgmental? Such a joke.
- Andre Johnson and Cortland Finnegan got into an all out brawl where punches were thrown while the players helmets were off. Needless to say both were ejected. What was strange was that nobody was suspended and both players were fined $25,000. Now, a $25,000 fine would ruin my life no question, but this is way to small of a punishment. Don't get me wrong I loved watching Andre beat the crap out of Cortland (also of all the receivers in the NFL to start crap with you choose Andre Johnson, really Cortland?), but the $25,000 fine for those two was the same as James Harrison's fine for tackling the quarterback. NFL needs to figure this crap out.
- Going into week 13 there is a possibility that there will be 3 white starting running backs in the NFL (Peyton Hillis, Danny Woodhead, and Toby Gerhart) and nothing seems weird about it. They are all good, but when was the last time this happened, 1935? When were blacks allowed in the NFL? Peach get Stat Boy on the phone!!!!
- The Baltimore Ravens top pass rusher came out this week and said that quitting cocaine is the reason for his resurgent season. He also claimed it was a joke, and I do find it hilarious, but ummmm should somebody maybe drug test Fabian Washington?
- I am terrified of Will this weekend
- A holding call that nullified a Ray Rice touchdown affected 3 of us this week. Titus got the loss, Peach stayed in the playoff hunt, and I couldn't clinch my playoff spot. Seems like the only team it didn't seem to bother was the actual Baltimore Ravens.
- Qatar is smaller then Connecticut and yet will host the World Cup, because they can provide air conditioned stadiums. Russia will also get to host a World Cup four years prior to Qatar. Has there ever been two more dramatically different climates? Add South Africa to this mess and you have basically a shower where someone flushed a toilet. HOT, COLD, HOT!!! (Yes I know South Africa was actually cold at this WC, but come on that joke was gold!)
- One last World Cup point. England was credited with being the Birthplace of Football/Soccer and yet they haven't hosted a World Cup since 1966! I also enjoyed FIFA claiming that the possibility of making money (which the US had the greatest capacity to do of any potential host nation) was not a factor in their decision, and yet you could actually see the voters counting their Qatar money! You could tell it was from Cutter, I mean Qatar, because of the oil stains on each bit of currency. (I don't know if this is true, but it makes me feel better.)
- I wrote numerous blogs earlier in the year about how terrible Jacksonville is (please notice I wrote "IS"). Now? They are in first place in their division after losing again! Why are we only talking about the NFC West?
All of these definitely provided for a crazy week in sports both real and fake, but nothing was as crazy as the phone call I had after my soccer game last night. Jason called me twice earlier in the day, so when I called him back you can believe my surprise when he said "I have been checking all of these emails all week so that I can read your blog, and you haven't posted one." Jason overnight apparently went from the person to ignore more emails about my blog, to my number one fan. Wow. I have no idea what to expect going into week 13, but I do know you can expect rankings to come next.....
White Rice - Dan - All but locked up the #1 seed with his win over Will. No surprise but the big days came from Kyle Orton (25.88), Brandon Lloyd (19.6), and Arian Foster (21.8). You know, I never really gave it credit before but Arian may be foreal. I have no proof or evidence, but I think his name is awesome. Reminds me of Marshall Faulk or Walter Payton. Just sounds like a nice shifty back. There. I hope my curse is now complete. Speaking of curses, wow is Chris Johnson inconstant. The 0.7 came at just the right time for Dan, but is he now worthless thanks to worthless Rusty Smith? We can all only hope so.
Velour Fog - Titus - Thanks dick! Yes we can all blame the Ray Rice phantom touchdown for Titus losing this week, but I'm just going to hold a grudge against him personally. Adrian put up his second lowest point total for the season and allowed Peach to squeak by and possibly into the playoffs. Remember all the RunDMC talk earlier in the season? Well since his 43.6 outburst he has scored 13.5, 9.4, 3.0, and 6.5 this week. Gradkowski is out for the season so the qb controversy in Oakland is over. Maybe that's what its going to take to get RunDMC running again.
Do You Like Apples? - WOW did he get up here fast. I thought the big 3 were basically locked up, but now Hittner has a chance to actually be the #2 seed! If Titus loses to the resurgent TipDrillers and Hittner is able to beat Alec he would jump in standings! Hittner has an 82.76 point lead over Titus right now, and you would have to think that he will hold the tiebreaker after this week. In his 4 game winning streak Hittner has been the top scorer twice, and the second leading scorer once. Yes, this is the team you don't want to play.
Grundy Grabbers - Alec - His record was 8-1 for the first 9 weeks of the season. Since then, 0-3. Must be nice to clinic a playoff spot before you do a complete tailspin out of control. As mentioned above Alec will be facing Hittner this week and can probably expect another loss. If the Colts (Wayne, Brown) can't get themselves together, and Adrian Peterson's injury proves to be serious I can see 0-5 in Alec's future, which would make this kind of a wasted season, right?
The Heaphopapotomus - Death - Hooray Adrian Peterson injury. Is there some kind of irony to Alec having the 'Skins D which injured his best player Adrian Peterson? Maybe. Is it possible that Dan Carpenter is actually Jesus Christ (17 points this week)? I'm not going to write it off yet. Did the NFC west really have 2 teams make it to the playoffs with 8-8 records? YUP, and they both went to the Super Bowl. I'm ok with being the Rams this year.
TheBlairWhiteProject - Peach - So I'm watching PTI on Tuesday and Tony is talking about Peyton Manning and his lack of weapons. He mentions Jacob Tamme and then talks about Blair White, or as Tony likes to call him "TheBlairWhiteProject". Hmmm. Did Peach rip off Tony Kornhieser, or Kornhieser rip off Peach? I would really like to know! What I do know is Peach has been playing the role of clever matchup gm and found a diamond this week in Maurice Morris (19.5 points). He won a low scoring game against Titus (the #2 team) and now has a match up for his playoff future against Dan (#1 team). Ohhhh you can cut the pressure with a knife!
Motor Boaters - Stilt - Wow. 7th? He's in 7th? So Stilt who was one of the 4 most dominant teams may not make the playoffs? Crazy. Right now Stilt is tied for the longest current losing streak at 5 games and going. Last week he actually posted his highest score....since his last win. Shame he had to face that Hittner guy. It will be interesting to see what he is able to do against Lars who was just eliminated last week.
nephew w/out the n - Kirby - Third highest overall scorer, 8th best record. Kirby's playoff hopes are dark, but at least they are still there. I mean he does still have Dwayne Bowe who scored 35 points this week. Oh if your wondering, yes that is over 42% of Kirby's scoring during week 12. Boy, Pitz really did do a number on this guy didn't he?
Gunners Treble - Lars - And then there was 4. Lars is out and looking forward to an early pick in what is probably going to be a pretty weak draft. His team of aging stars seems like they are about to start hitting the wall. LT is losing carries to Shone Green, TO may kill Carsen Palmer soon, and well actually Matt Hasselback had a pretty good week. At least he has Larry Fitzgerald for next season, although nobody knows who is going to throw him the ball.
Just The Tip Drill - Pitz - At one point was viewed as a lock for the #1 pick Pitz may now find himself at 5-8 as he rides out a stretch where he has won 3 of his last 4 games. The Micheal Vick experence has been good to Pitz (24.7), as was Deion Branch's Thanksgiving show (23.3), and not to mention the once a 4th stringer Mike Goodson (19.6). Yea....none of those guys were on his team to start the season.
ProtectYourNeck - Jason - Back to back wins, well if they win one more you know what they call that, a winning streak. Has Jason figured out this crazy game? Start the best players and good things may happen? Who knows? I do know he cannot keep complaining about the Joe Flacco pick. He was the second leading scorer for Jason this week (18.36) behind Nate Kaeding (20.00). What is up with these kickers?
crash and burn - Will - We need to host the draft next year at a bigger house, now that we know Will will be the one fetching all of our beverages throughout the night. Will had a pretty decent week, with Knowshon, Mason and Miles Austin all scoring over 14 points, but the combo of Jerome Harrison, Rob My Bironas, and Indy D got him a total of 2.6 points. An average of 0.87 per player. That's good, right?
Well happy final week of the regular season everyone. Time sure does fly when your wasting time on the waiver wire. Until next week know your role, and shut your mouth!
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