2012 Week 3 Recap

So here I being called out for not doing a blog last week. I'M SORRY!!! How will I ever make amends? Well I can tell you it wont be by writing one this week. I'm giving that responsibility to Dan and Hittner again. Please read and enjoy, TAKE IT AWAY DAN!!!

 

 

Where was the week 2 recap?  "Oh sorry I was just busy trying to lock up the first Orioles post season since 1997 (according to what I Googled)" - Matt Death.  That's right!  We were 14 years old (Titus and Will were 18)!  I don't know where I was going with this other than to point out the fact that the O's are doing awesome and Titus and Will are old.  Fun FIFA week this most recent week.  Hittner and Pitz earned themselves a free copy of this years cocaine placed in a plastic DVD case stamped with Messi's head and Dan/Death have to pay $120 for their fix.  Now, on to the league!  Starting at the top of the standings Hittner and I (Dan) will try to keep you amused while we eagerly await the return of the commish.

Y'all Must of Forgot - Hittner - 3-0

Dan's descriptive gif -  "Hey everyone, come see how good I look!"

H - Alright, so I'll be honest here. I specifically requested this as my photo caption. If you think I'm not basking in my week at the top of the standings after suffering through misery in year 2, you are mistaken. I have been very fortunate with some draft choices (C.J. Spiller and Tony Gonzalez especially). I think I have a good team, I don't think I have the best team in IDP, and I don't think I will defeat Pitz this week. But I have had a RB go out in the first half with injury EVERY game this season so far, and 2 of my 3 first round draft picks have been close to useless thus far. I didn't break 100 all of last year, so I'm enjoying the streak while I can. Just hoping to be a factor long-term. Oh, and Yahoo! HATES my team, they still have me projected to finish 7-6...C'mon Man!

D - I'm sure we'll touch on this subject multiple times, but Yahoo's predictions and power rankings, although awesome, are freaking crazy!  I'm #1 in the power rankings.... Pitz is dead last.  Let's think about this.  He just beat me by 35ish?  He's 3-0.  He's projected to go 8-5.  But he's dead last in power rankings?  But I digress.  This is a review of Hittner, not Yahoo.  What's to say about Hittner?  He's living up to his rosterbating hype and I'm terrified of our match-up week 5.  That is all.

Sneaky Fuzzy Italian - Pitz - 3-0

Dan's descriptive gif - Looking strong.... for a little guy

H - Pitz...Oh Pitz...he actually told me pre-draft he intended to go for Matt Ryan (after I told him I was gonna take Eli). After I thought about it I completely agreed with his rationale and he's been a huge part of this team. The Brandon's are solid receivers who have not been spectacular to this point. Pitz is even using a bench spot to hold onto a guy who might not play for several more weeks (Mendenhall) while also having Forte who went out with an injury for several weeks. He scored 120+ last week with a patched together group. Pitz could and should be it for the long haul. But for now, the little baby girl flexing her muscles, doesn't she bear a striking resemblance to our fuzzy Italian friend?

D - Can I honestly say anything bad about a team that just shellacked me?  Best I could do was say he is strong but link a picture of Michelle Tanner flexing.  I honestly thought I had this game and a free copy of FIFA for a third consecutive year. After Andre Brown dropped 25 on me Thursday night, I knew I was screwed.  Pitz may have an ACTUAL (not self proclaimed) viable chance for manager of the year this season.  It takes a lot for me to say that....WAIT, I take it back!

Grundy Grabbers - Alec - 3-0

Dan's descriptive gif - Always at the top of the standings, I'm impressed

H - New Years Resolution...Be nicer to Alec...I can do this...I swear. Beast Mode has been all of it...Eric Decker has definitely been Peyton Manninged, Percy is as Percy does, and his quarterback is STILL gay! Ahmad Bradhsaw and Aaron Hernandez are dinged up. All around Alec has a good looking team. Really does make you say wow! He spends 10x as much time preparing to HOST the draft than he does preparing for the actual draft. He went into the draft with “I want Aaron Hernandez and Percy Harvin” as his strategy. And it WORKS! You know he started Kellen Winslow at TE this weekend? You know, a guy who had just been cut, and signed by a completely new team? He just wishes he had a few more Redskins on his team. Though, if he had RGIII, he would be insufferable, if of course, he bothered to send out as many e-mails as the rest of us.

D - I'm taking this one back to Year 1 when Alec was atop the leader board and I said he was "good but not great" and he got all offended and then I won the championship.  I think that's the case this year too.  Don't get me wrong, he's good, but to win this league you have to be great and/or lucky.  Alec lives in the shadow as the all-time #3 in this league, it's just never discussed, probably because the #1 and #2 (Titus and myself) are so widely hated and so open to being hated.  But lets look at some numbers:  All time points - 3rd behind Titus and myself (6 points ahead of Hittner).  All time wins - 3rd behind Titus and myself.  Average league finish - tied with Stilt for 3rd (Really, Stilt?).  The list goes on and on.  The one thing Alec has that none of us do?  And I find this quite impressive.   In the 29 weeks of regular season play, Alec has NEVER had the weeks lowest score.  So all in all will Alec make the playoff's?  Most likely yes.  Is he a legit contender?  Most likely.... no, but he throws a damn good draft party!

4U70B07$ - Titus - 2-1

Dan's descriptive gif - He's just toying with us by losing this week, I hate Titus.

H - Fucking Titus! Seriously, What the fuck is this team name? He really does just toy with the emotions of the rest of us. Shaving points and losing to our reigning beer bitch was all a part of his master plan. He has 3 players on his bench who I wouldn't even be able to tell you what team they played for. I would honestly question is Shaun Draughn was the name of a REAL football player, or just something Titus snuck onto his roster because he cracked Yahoo's programming codes. He is very Gladiator-esque. In that I think every person in our league looks at a victory over Titus as the biggest trophy on their wall. Peach claimed that this past weekend, ending Titus' winning streak (he tied Jason...FUCKING JASON...for longest winning streak...maybe we wanted Titus to win that, it's embarrassing for Jason to have a record like that in our league). On the bright side, Titus struggles to filed a competent flex player, if someone gets hurt, or you face him on the right bye week, W's can be had. But at full strength, now were all in big trouble. Oh, and fuck Titus!

D - I honestly thought Shaun Draughn was another pseudo name for P. Diddy.  It's not a clothing line?  My complete and utter hatred for Titus is not something that I hide.  Respect the guy?  No, not so much, I just don't like him.  I feel as though the world would be a better place if Titus lost in everything he attempted.  But then when you think about it, when he does lose, he's even more of a dick then when he wins!  He starts hitting you below the belt with personal stuff.  Like "Oh you beat me in putt-putt? Well at least I'm not retarded!".  Ouch Titus, ouch.  So I guess we have the better of the 2 when he's winning?  Wait... Titus... what's that on your foot? ......

PRAYING MANTIS!!!

We now know his weakness!!!  By the way, his team name says "Autobots".

Earn'n and Burn'n - Dan - 2-1

Dan's descriptive gif - You're supposed to win by 30 Yahoo said, you'll do great Yahoo said.... BAM out of nowhere Pitz hits me with 122!

H - Possibly my favorite GIF of the set. WHAM! Truck tire! Dan might have the best team in the league right now, just happened to throw up a ho-hum week when Pitz went OFF! Sitting at 2-1 but a clear contender, as always. Dan has more overall success than anyone in IDP, more wins, more points, more Finals appearances, and a Championship. Yet we all hate Titus. Not Dan. So were all biased in our own ways I suppose. On a random long-term note, Dan doesn't look to be I great position for keepers this offseason ( a problem facing MANY of us). He'll have Gronk! But after that, Dwayne Bowe? Titus Young? Randall Cobb? I am nitpicking here, but I have to reach sometimes to criticize the teams I like the most. So I found something.

D - Thanks.  I'm very well aware of my predicament for keepers.  You're saying that Joique Bell isn't a quality keeper?  I may just pull a Jason and keep my defense!  It's been nice being on top.  But I fear after this season my time may be coming to an end.  Why?  Just the fact that 60% of my points are coming from my keepers (insert Pitz comment where he corrects me and gives actual percentage).  As for this season I just hope to take it week by week, not lose to Jason, and make the playoffs again.  Next up... Stilt.

Rodgers rejects - Will - 2-1

Dan's descriptive gif - Solid start, looks like he's staring at the playoffs this year!

H - With absolutely NO help from the running backs on his roster, Will is in good damn shape. Great QB, Great TE, GREAT WR. Good future keepers. Yahoo is a big fan of him if you check out their projections. Life is good for Will Ray. Only one thing is missing, he hasn't talked any shit via e-mail. Which is basically a requirement around here. He DID inquire about making a trade. But nothing has come from that thus far. I want to write more, but im 90% sure he doesn't even know these words exist.

D - Will - I'll trade you Joique Bell for Aaron Rodgers.  Yes, he's a running back.  No, I don't know what team he's on.  Deal?  I think Will is going to be a bubble team this year despite what Yahoo says.  In that 7-6 or 6-7 range, either just making the playoffs or just missing them.  This makes me happy and sad.  I'm happy to see Will move up the standings and become a better team (he will definitely finish better than anybody else that drafted with a hand written top 100).  I'm sad that our beer bitch will never be as good.  Charles Peach should be ashamed to have even called himself a bartender.  I went into this draft expecting to see him on roller skates, my drink to never be fully empty, shit to be on fire, and not knowing whether to applaud him or to weep because I just witnessed a beautiful performance.  Oh I wept alright, when I had to fill my CHAMPIONS mug on my own!  Twice!

Angry Blackmon - Peach - 1-2

Dan's descriptive gif - PEACH BEAT TITUS!

H - Peach...he sits at 1-2. I dropped 130+ on him a week ago. And yet, he took a W off of Titus this past weekend. His decision to go with MJD at #1 overall looks like a brilliant decision (I agreed with it even back then with him holding out). Demarco Murray has been solid as well. Suddenly Peach, who had nothing in Rbs for the last 2 years, is making it happen with the running game. The namesake of his team (Justin Blackmon) has yet to do anything noteworthy. He owns a Green Bay Running Back, which is basically a wasted roster spot. He currently rosters 3 QB's as well. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but he took a big W, and is obviously capable of big weeks, and wins over anybody. But the season-long projection doesn't look good with the roster composed this way. But I am no expert, so who the fuck knows. I DO know, that I pretty much re-enacted that Anchorman scene when Peach beat Titus last weekend (let's see how many times I can mention that this weekend...I'll probably get handed my ass by 60+ when I face Titus later this season...)

D - Okay, I was mean to Peach before because of his absolutely awful beer bitching abilities (honestly though... it was SOOOO bad).  I think we missed the most important thing here.  HE BEAT TITUS!  Suck it Titus!.  I do however see Peach battling with Will for that final playoff spot.  Solely happy with that outcome.  Happy again to see people climb the league ladder and ECSTATIC that I will not have to endure such a poor beer bitch performance in my life again!

Wu Rule #1 - Jason - 1-2

Dan's descriptive gif - 119 points week 2, 56 points week 3, there's no telling what his team will do next

H - Point output cut in half in one week. Michael Vick got the dreaded “vote of confidence” this week. What kind of long-term prospects exist here? I projected Jason to be the beerbitch at next years draft, and I still think that he is a strong candidate for that (although NOT the only candidate). When I look at Jason's team, I see strong potential players, maybe they just don't like playing for Jason?

D - I have to disagree with Hittner here.  No I don't see Jason making the playoffs,but I don't see him being beer bitch,  I see more like 4-9.  The reason being exactly the gif I gave him.  You have no idea what he's going to do next.  After he put up 82 in week 1 I said "I don't see him scoring much more than that this season".  Then he drops 119 on  Kirby (seriously, will he catch a break ever?).  Week 3 is more of what I expected out of him for the season.  But as we've all learned with Jason, you just never know what he's going to say or do next.  I think I speak for all of us when I say I love that about him.

Cactus Wranglers - Lars - 1-2

Dan's descriptive gif - "I have a losing record?" - Lars

H - PERFECT gif for Lars. Does he even know he's playing fantasy football anymore? Is Stafford's injury serious? Does Lars know this happened? Is he aware that Leshoure went OFF in his first NFL action? How many of his own players do you think Lars could name off the top of his head? 5? 6? 8? Trent Richardson looks like he might be all of it. But two games against the Ravens and Steelers will be a challenge for him...I had the Shonn Greene experience last year, that was not pleasant for me at all, I am sure Lars is not enjoying it either. Demaryius Thomas was he #1 receiver in Fantasy through 2 weeks, Peyton likes him quite a bit so far it seems. That could be an excellent potential longterm star in IDP...Hopefully Lars pays attention and manages his team well, it is an absolute playoff contender.

D - I feel like we have these same questions every year, mostly from the guys that don't play soccer with Lars.  Is Lars alive?  Should we include him in league emails?  Does Lars even know how to read or is all of this time I take out of doing my job a waste?  All jokes aside it is a nice added personality (or lack there of) to have in the league.  We all fit into our own niche and it wouldn't be the greatest league in the world if we didn't.  Oh... um... Lars' team is okay but he won't win the title this year.  He did change his name though.

corn on the kolb - Kirby - 0-3

Dan's descriptive gif - EVERY FREAKING YEAR! CAN HE CATCH A BREAK!?

H - This is getting a little ridiculous. He is in a near dead heat with our commissioner for most points scored against. 3 consecutive years Kirby puts out teams with lots of good players, and consistently scores points. Yet, he loses matchups. His collection of Wide Receivers is tremendous, his Running Backs are good, when Antonio Gates actually plays he has a good Tight End. It just doesn't make sense that this roster is 0-3. By all rights Kirby should be a playoff contender. Yet who knows if he will ever appease the fantasy gods, and start to get a few more W's. One bright spot for Kirby, he always plays well against Hittner, undefeated against Hittner in IDP so far. Just sayin...

D - He plays well against Hittner AND brews delicious beer.  Did you guys see on Facebook last night he was kegging a vanilla bean porter?  I fucking love vanilla bean porters!  I wish I could soak in a bath of vanilla bean porter if it weren't such a waste of amazing beer!  Of course there's no reason for him to be 0-3.  He gets us drunk every year at the draft with out us giving him a cent.  Is that not a good enough sacrifice to the gods!?  I suppose we'll never know.  Just like Kirby's fantasy results, what goes on inside his head is a conundrum.  I don't know what that's supposed to mean, I just wanted to use the word conundrum.  For those curious, Conundrum is also a winery that makes a delicious white.  Don't try the red though, it's as gross as Kirby's 0-3 record.

Regester Regulators - Death - 0-3

Dan's descriptive gif - One word

H - I feel really bad about this one. Did I jinx the fuck out of this team or what? The amazing thing is, LOOK at that roster and tell me it's not full of outstanding players. RGIII, Julio Jones, Miles Austin, Ryan Mathews, Martellus Bennett, Greg Jennings, Torrey Smith...How do you go 0-3 to start the season with that group? Oh right, through 3 weeks Death has had 351 points scored against him! Nearly 120 per week average...OUCH! Maybe my preseason projections and predictions put a HUGE target on his back. Regardless, you don't want to face this team, there is talent everywhere. Eventually they might get their shit together. If not Death might do his Warren G impression and start “regulating” some of his IDP opponents.

D - "Talent on his roster Death does have." - Yoda.  He owns 3 of the top 6 WR's in the league, the top QB, and a top 5 TE.  How that correlates into and 0-3 record... I have no idea.  "One thing that doesn't lie is numbers" - Marc Pitonzo (same height as Yoda).  In the first 3 weeks of the league Matt "Death" Death is a combined  4-29 against the league.  Lets take a look at previous years through week 3.  Year 1 - Will Ray: 7-26 against the league.  Ended up: Beer Bitch.  Year 2 - Charles Peach: 4-29 against the league.  Ended up: Beer Bitch.  The numbers speak the truth and his future looks inevitable.... beer bitch.

FreshPrincesofBelAir - Stilt - 0-3

Dan's descriptive gif - I'm not gonna beat you while your down.... wait, yes I am

H - Stilt is a really nice guy...I could just stop there...I'll try a little harder. His team, not doing so hot. Cam Newton is not dropping huge weeks like last year. Andre Johnson has mostly been cold (except for week 3). Wes Welker struggled against everyone but the Ravens so far. Isaac Redman sucks (theres a reason he went to Bowie State). He even drafted the WRONG NYG backup running back.. Oh and his snipe of Ogletree during the opening game of the season has done nothing for him. Pole position for beerbitch right now. Barring some significant improvements by his key players and returning keepers, he might maintain a stranglehold on that position all season. 3 weeks is too early to write off a season, but he may already be planning ahead to next season very shortly.

D - Talk shit about the guy I'm playing this week?  Yeah right.  Oh he's dead last?  I don't care, I'm still going to sing him praises.  Right now Stilt is just in this lull because he took advantage of that whole Ogletree situation.  After this week it will all pan out and he'll be fine.  Don't worry about Stilt (who should change his name to " The Ice King" or simply "Ice King" or maybe "Ice Ice BITCH!" or even "Yeah I have a pen you can borrow") he'll be fine.  Let's hope he doesn't finish last though because I don't want to drink Smirnoff Ice all day long at the draft next year.  That job is reserved for Jason.... and Kirby.

Week 1 recap

Death is extremely busy with the playoff bound O's so he asked for substitutes.  What he got was Dan and Hittner giving their extremely biased and often insulting points of view for the public to see.

Match up of the week - The Hand - 110.16 def. The Commish - 80.34

Dan on Death - After being caught multiple times roster-bating at the draft, Death went into this opening weekend with high hopes. His starters did little to get excited about, but I'm sure he has a rager from the thoughts of Julio and Robert leading his team, while Rivers' future as a starter is left in question.

Dan on Pitz - That sneaky fuzzy Italian... Wins the weekly incentive, has over 30 points in WR's riding the pine, his defense scores -2 points (seriously, Buffalo?), and he puts up 110 points.  Watch out for Pitz if you have him coming up soon, he looks scary good.  (leaked photo of Pitz after the 1:00pm games Sunday)

 

Hittner Recap- So did I jinx the commish or what? Declared hm my preseason favorite to win it all, and placed him atop my power rankings...My bad...I still love what he did in the draft, but potential “breakout” players don't necessarily breakout immediately, so we will see how things progress for the commish. Now Mr. Pitonzo, his decision to go for Matt Ryan looks potentially great. His man-crush on Brandon Marshall is off to a great start and overall, looked like one of the best teams in the league in week 1. And as Dan pointed out, VERY deep at WR. Is 110 the most points scored in IDP history with 1 started contributing a negative number? Can we get the Elias Sports Bureau on that?

Dan - 95.06 def. Peach - 86.12

Dan on Dan - The keepers came to play, that's all I can say.  23 from Drew, 19 from Arian, and 12 from Rob accounting for almost 60% of Dan's total points.  Mike and Mike (Wallace and Bush) offered some solid support for the opening weekend with 9.7 and 16.2.  Dan has Peach's number that's for sure.  4-0 all time after this weekend, they'll meet again week 12 as Dan attempts to continually knock down Peach and get win #5

Dan on Peach - Gotta be excited about the return of Peyton and for Demarco's performance.  MJD will come around, WR's are solid, but this week 1 loss had to leave Peach with his head shaking.  It doesn't get much easier in the next few weeks for Peach with games against Hittner and Titus, it could be a slow start to the season for our reigning cellar dweller.

Hittner Recap- Well...Peach outscored me...Peyton played very well as Dan said, but will never live up to his lofty status as the first ever draft pick in IDP history...And Peach will never stop hearing about this...Although wasnt the RB formerly known as CJ2K the other highly coveted option there? For the record I was in the “If I draft #1 overall I'm taking Adrian Peterson” boat that year. So I feel good about that. As for Dan. His on again off again relationship with Mike Wallace returned. Very respectable numbers for a guy who only practiced 2-3 times prior to the game. Dan's beloved backups RB's Michael Bush and Ben Tate...well...they are backups...

Titus - 138.58 def. Kirby - 80.90

Dan on Titus - I hate Titus so much.  Not even a little bit, it's complete and utter hatred.  He just sits there all pompous and puts up 138 points.  His only player not in double digits?  His kicker with 7.  Romo 24.48, fuck you, Megatron 11.1, fuck you, Reggie Wayne 13.5 (SERIOUSLY REGGIE WAYNE!?), fuck you, Ray Rice 21.3, okay that was cool, Run DMC 11.8, fuck you, Vernon Davis 10.3, fuck you, Kevin Smith 21.1, fuck you, and the Baltimore defense with 18!!  I can only imagine what Titus looked like watching his team dominate...... yeah, that seems accurate.

Dan on Kirby - If I were Kirby I would have been terrified to look at the final score of this one.  I mean Kirby's team had a decent day.  17 from Gore, 11.5 from Reggie Bush, good numbers from his bench... Kirby will be alright in the future, I truly believe that, he just tried to approach the beast calmly this week and Titus let him have it.

Hittner Recap- 21.1 from Kevin Smith??? Seriously??? Titus has picked up right where he left off...And so have the rest of us...Does anyone even like Titus anymore? He is definitely the “heel” of the IDP (do we have a babyface anywhere???) Every player Titus starts turns to fantasy gold...Kirby...he has a good team. A playoff contender...But nobody is touching Titus right now...On the bright side, hopefully someone on Titus' team will get hurt (NOT RAY RICE) … That would be ideal

Hittner - 85.72 def. Lars - 83.70

Dan on Hittner - Got away with a close one!  Fred Jackson out for a month.  Don't worry too much for Hittner he has CJ Spiller on the bench that only put up 23.4 points, I think he'll be fine until Fred returns.  Hakeem was a little disappointing but the big conundrum is who does Hittner start at QB?  Eli is solid but suddenly Cutler with all his weapons looks a lot more dangerous then in years past.

Dan on Lars - Lars is all talk, no bite.  He had to be excited to see Demaryius put up big numbers in week 1.  Stafford will be better than what we saw this week, but in order for Lars to succeed something needs to happen in the RB position.  3.2 from Turner and 4.4 from Richardson definitely hurt.

Hittner Recap- I was thrilled to come away with a W here after grossly mismanaging my roster. Not neccesarily my fault, I mean you cant project a player getting knocked out early (Fjax), but we pulled out just enough to get the W over a feisty Larsen. I am excited about knowing Spiller will be the go-to guy in Buffalo for a few weeks. I am NOT excited that Sproles had 1 carry, on a 2-pt conversion attempt. I like having a QB controversy. I went with Cutler as my backup expecting Chicago to be greatly improved on offense, and in week 1 they certainly were. For Larsen, his RBs underachieved, and there was Beanie sitting on his bench, injured, as usual...That could come forth to be a serious problem. He needs Stafford to get back to playing like last years version, and he might be the zunstoppable force again?

Will - 101.02 def. Jason - 82.18

Dan on Will - Jason updated his slogan from "You Best Protect Ya Neck!!!" to "Protect Ya Neck kid!!!" before this match-up.... an obvious and necessary update if you were to ask me.  Regardless, Will took his advice and did just that watching Rodgers go for 23.82, 'quan 12.6, Jimmy 14.5, and the Law Firm 15.5.  The icing on the cake was Nate Kaeding throwing down a solid 18 points to finish off Jason and leave Will overcome with joy..

Dan on Jason - Honestly, I'm surprised.  I'm surprised and shocked that Jason's team scored over 80 points.  How'd he get there?  19.88 from Vick, 11.6 from LeSean, Houston put up 15, Gostkowski added 10, and 11.8 points from a Doug Martin player that I'm sure Jason is still ecstatic he out witted Death for.  All in all, I don't see Jason scoring much more than this in any given week the rest of the season.

Hittner Recap- Jason isn't necessarily a “heel”, he's just incompetent so we all want him to suffer for his stupidity. For public record I will say, Jason, I love you man! And I mean that. You make this league so entertaining. When he loses Shady and Vick after this season, there will be trouble afoot. His Doug Martin theft came in handy. But my favorite thing about this matchup? Who finished off Jason? Nate Kaeding...the kicker he had on his roster last preseason, when he decided to ADD a second kicker and drop Sproles, who led Dan to the Finals...Jason later dropped Kaeding before week 1. In my mind, Nate Kaeding knew this, and wanted to make sure he stuck it to Jason Pack this weekend...and stick it to him he did! BJGE's running performance bodes well for Will's potential this season, Boldin is an animal, my love for him is unrivaled, his TD “catch” was glorious. The funny thing, Rodgers didn't even play “that” well. Will's team may be capable of much more.

Alec - 90.34 def. Stilt - 62.22

Dan on Alec - Alec got lucky this week with poor roster setting from Stilt.  Don't get me wrong he still put up 90 points but sometimes you need luck to succeed.  Alec had all his old favorites show up for the week 1 party.  Brady, Percy, Ahmad, and Aaron Hernandez all in double digits.  Alec looks again to be a formidable opponent on any given weekend.  It should be noted that Alec is the first person to complete the league "Collect'em All".  He has successfully beaten every team at least once with his victory over Stilt this weekend.  Congrats Alec, we're proud of you!

Dan on Stilt - "Oh I'm sorry, I was too busy making sure a nuclear power plant didn't melt down so that you all had energy to watch your precious football games that I didn't even take this week seriously ." said Stilt, always.  Could Stilt have won this game? Yes.  But that's just his mentality.  He'd rather put more thought into how to ice you at the draft than his weekly roster.  Yeah, he had the lowest score this week, but do you honestly think that bothers him?  I think Stilt will make you pay if you take him lightly...

2012 Draft Recap

Season starts TOMORROW! Craziness. So naturally its time to start insulting each other for the next couple of months. The first shot is fired by Mr. Adam Hittner. Please enjoy his Draft review which allows me to sandbag not doing any work for another week. Ladies and gentleman, Hittners Recap:

OK.  So year 3 of IDP is upon us.  I felt compelled to write a little IDP season preview as we approach the first week of REAL football games.  You might recall I did something like this a year ago.  I will save you the suspense, I was right about EVERYTHING (except of course, for my own team).  So lets see if I can bat 1.000 two years in a row!

First and foremost.  After the draft (and after an ABUNDANCE of preseason moves by some owners  ::cough:: Jason Pack:: cough) I can look at the rosters of every one of the IDP teams and see how they can be dangerous on any given week.  I will not make it a habit to say nice things about Jason’s team or his management style.  But he has Vick, Shady and Vincent Jackson.  Those are 3 solid players.  

Team Previews:

Jason Pack- Now to my more traditional approach with Jason.  We had a 12 round draft (plus 3 keepers).  Since the conclusion of the draft Jason has made 8 moves (editors note: he's up to fucking 9 now...at one point he dropped Evan Royster to pick up Mike Tolbert.  Today he dropped Mike Tolbert to pick up Evan Royster...Deck chairs on the titanic Jason, Deck chairs on the Titanic...).  Basically 2/3rds of his draft, he has changed...What this says to me is why in the world is Jason so adamant about “not trading away draft picks ever again”.  He clearly doesn't need draft picks.  His plan is to take whatever players the rest of us leftover after the draft, and try to beat us with them.  If this works for the 2^nd year in a row, fuck, I might have to quit fantasy football altogether.

Will Ray-  Everyone has heard of Aaron Rodgers right?  Will owns that guy for one more year, and when you own Rodgers, anythings possible.  Additionally A.J. Green and Jimmy Graham are huge assets that make a very potentially dangerous team.  Will does likely need some RB help.  Roy Helu plays for Mike Shanahan, so who the fuck knows what will happen there.  The Law-Firm was a great pickup and will be the strength of Will's running game.  If Knowshon of Legarrette overachieve a playoff run is likely.

Ryan Kirby-  In a year with tremendous WR depth, Kirby seems to have the market cornered.  He has last years breakout star Victor Cruz, paired with the very consistent Roddy White, add Marques Colston as a flex option and Stevie Johnson on the fucking bench!  Oh! Robert Meachem too!  His Quarterback is a rapist, so that's certainly a negative.  BUT Kirby makes outstanding fucking beer so there is always that.  If Frank Gore has anything left in the tank for this year Kirby's team could do big things.  OH.  Crazy WR depth...he TRADED AWAY Julio Jones just before keepers were declared.  Ridiculous!

Peach-  He gets one name and one name only.  I am a little biased, I did vote for Peach for best draft on draft night at Alec's.  MJD has finally reported, even if he isn't up to full speed for a couple of weeks, he will be great.  Keep in mind that he also drafted him for up to 3 years.  He will be happy with the selection (way more than his FIRST #1 overall selection).  If Demarco Murray is what he showed in about 6 quarters of action last year Peach will be a factor.  Will Desean Jackson give a shit this year is a HUGE question.  This hurts Peach doubly because, ya know, he's an Eagles fan.  So Desean's douchiness last year really double fucked poor Peach...And the Peyton Manning debacle was just a complete an utter lack of lubrication or foreplay all-around.  It CANNOT be worse for Peach this year.  No fucking way.

Michael Larsen-  Matthew Stafford if he stays healthy will lead this team.  Larry Fitzgerald is as talented as any WR in the NFL...But John Skelton is not good (but Kevin Kolb is full-on shitty, so it's an upgrade!)  Michael Turner, muck like MJD is hated in IDP.  Nobody ever thinks he's any good.  We will see how that turns out.  I love his backup, mostly for his name.  Trent Richardson has more knee surgeries than NFL carries.  But I did secretly hope he would fall to me in the draft (though I fell off the bandwagon the week of the draft, after the 2^nd surgery).  Brandon Pettigrew at TE is a good value selection, and the double-dip with Stafford is nice there.  Megatron will not score 16 times again this year, but Detroit could and should still be prolific on offense.  Demaryius Thomas could get PeytoManning effect and become a huge factor in driving this team to IDP glory.

Ryan Stiltner-  I don't even want to talk about Stilt's team, or his draft.  I don't even want to do my Dan impression and talk about his majestic locks.  I wont even touch on his INCREDIBLE performance during a full-fledged pissed off fiancé phone call 4^th of July weekend (absolutely AMAZING!)  I want to talk about his icing of Jason.  That was so perfectly played it was incredible.  He just casually left his backpack in the corner.  WAITING for somebody to need, well, anything.  What did Jason need? Was it a pencil?  A piece of paper?  A beach towel?  A 3^rd string kicker?  Whatever it was Stilt claimed he had one “in the front pocket of my backpack over there”  BOOM! Ice!   My personal nominee for bamboozling of the season (until we get to Deaths recap)

Alec Eschbach-  Alright, so my New Years Resolution (in IDP) is to be less of an ass to Alec...Only to Alec though, so fuck the rest of you guys.  He's got a great QB (tho he's a little...uhh...fucking gay).  Bradshaw and Beast Mode, if they repeat last years successes will make four outstanding RB options.  After Death and I finished drafting in round 7, we had a lot of time to talk at the draft.  I REALLY hoped to come out of the draft with Percy.  Alec's man crush on Percy is much greater than mine and so he came up with him again.  (He has drafted him 3 straight years...ok fine he draft day traded for him this year...but that shit counts).  While the whole world will likely focus on Gronk! this year, Hernandez could be huge for Alec (and as a side bonus, it will piss off Dan).  On the downside, Alec's roster currently has 3 players on it that were cut by their REAL teams...

Marc Pitonzo-  I personally liked this team better with Mike Wallace than with Brandon Lloyd.  But that is the type of move that could potentially lead Pitz to the IDP promised land  Additionally he gets rid of one of his 2 keepers in the final year of a contract...Good long term planning...Went for Matt Ryan at QB over Tony Romo, everybody hates Romo too but he puts up fantasy points.  Although I see his logic, Roddy, Julio, Gonzalez, a solid running game.  He could be this years version of Matthew Stafford.  Pitz does have Rashad Jennings (who will be useful for much of the season, and will be a lead RB for at least a couple weeks).  Pitz starts Kyle Rudolph at TE.  Who the fuck is that?  I was sure Pitz would keep Fred Jackson, as he ended up on my team I am thrilled that he did not however.  Thanks buddy!

Adam Hittner-  I debuted the team name for the 2012-2013 season.  Ya'll Must of Forgot http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWIqZKhNY90 

Potentially the greatest pound for pound fighter ever.  Creates potentially the WORST hip-hop/r&b hybrid song ever.  But he makes a great point.  He was down for a time, but he came back (look this was created many years ago...)  I tanked last year, decided to build up my draft for this season and I am happy with the end result.  I am even pleased with what I ended up with at TE.  The biggest downside of my team, lack of TD's at the RB position.  I've got JC and Sproles, yardage guys who come out of the game in goalline areas.  I'm not super excited about this weakness, but I think Hakeem/Jordy/Dez make a great trifecta of WR options.  Eli and Cutler will handle QB duties competently.  I am confident on a return to respectability, the playoffs, and hopefully a possible championship run!

Matt Death-  I love what Death did.  He has so many players that are high-upside potential big-time breakout players.  Those are the players that win you championships.  Julio Jones, Ryan Mathews (I'm including him) Ingram (of course) RGIII, Torrey Smith, Darrius Heyward-Bey...Any of these guys could have HUGE years.  Oh and he has MILES AUSTIN buried on that bench too.  AND if Michael Turner dies (sorry Larsen) he has Jacquizz Rodgers who can can catch out of the backfield, and could be very valuable.  I think Death is one of the favorites for the title this year.  Can you IMAGINE how good his team would be if he didn't just DONATE a 3^rd round draft pick to Jason in a display of complete and utter brain fart like none of us have ever seen.  Add EITHER Percy Harvin, or Doug Martin to his roster...just think about that for a second.

Dan Clemson-  Dan came into the draft with outstanding keepers.  Probably the #1 RB and #1 TE and Drew fucking Brees as QB.  Drafted Brandon Lloyd, but moved him for Mike Wallace (candidate to do a Desean Jackson impression this year...)  Ben Tate could be the X-factor here.  Dan could legitimately start two RBs from the same damn team and get serious points from them both consistently.  2 IDP years, 2 trips to the championship game, and 1 title.  Dan will be a factor as always, but I would rank him outside of the top 2 going into this season.

Fuck Titus-  That's his name right?  Like his full government name?  I don't believe this Adrian bullshit, all I ever hear is “fuck Titus”  so I assume we are all just showing him due respect as the champ by using his full-name.  Whatever.  His team is so fucking good he DROPPED MJD.  He didn't even try to trade him?  Why??? Because fuck Titus, that's why!  Ray Rice and Run-DMC as starting RBs.  Romo as his leader at QB, and potential comeback years from Randy Moss and Mike Williams are what fuck Titus is relying on this year.  OH! And fuck Titus has VD on his Tight End...some jokes are too easy, but need to be made anyways.

Power Rankings:

My completely biased, personal opinions on where each of the 12 teams in our league rank:

1. Death
2. Fuck Titus
3. Dan
4. Hittner
5. Alec
6. Pitz
7. Stilt
8. Peach
9. Larsen
10. Kirby
11. Will
12. Jason
    

I spent VERY little time calculating the above rankings.  Just my gut feelings.  I think fuck Titus is going to be hurt by lack of depth (as he traded away a lot of draft picks to get last year's title).  Similar issue for Dan.  Death has so much fucking upside it's ridiculous, if some of those guys hit it big, he will be laughing all the way to the bank...I just hope Jason doesn't embarrass himself anymore (though I would rather he embarrass himself than the rest of us by beating us...fuck Wu Rule #1)

Projected Champ!

Our commissioner, Matthew Philip Death is my preseason projected champion.

Projected Beerbitch!

Jason Pack.  Prepare to be VERY thirsty at next year's draft fellas.  Peach did not live up to Will's performance from the year before.  But based on how Jason has performed in the draft by itself, add beerbitch duties to his day.  May God have mercy on our souls.

Thanks to Dan Clemson for his help in coming up with some outstanding visual aides to assist in gettign across some o fth emore important points.

Alright gentlemen!  That's about it from me.  Gave me a little something to do before heading to bed...Good luck (but not too much luck) and don't forget,Fuck Titus!

Week 13 recap

Well now all the questions are answered. Jason is the number one seed. GOOD NIGHT!!! Tip your waitress I'm out.

Sadly I'm not going to get off that easy am I? Well tell ya what, the playoffs are set, the top six draft order is set...and I'm pretty sure I wrote about how terrible everyone's team would be right after the draft happened. Let's see how poorly I did.

Wu Rule #1 - Jason - I did like Jason snatching up Matt Schaub in the 3rd to solidify the quarterback spot, but selecting Eli Manning two rounds later well, that's the Jason Pack we all know. So lets all raise a Smirnoff Ice or 7 and toast to Jason once again being a bottom feeder in the league. Cheers.

Hmmmm. Schaub really solidified the QB spot didn't he? In a bit of an ironic twist the 3rd round pick Schaub made 3 starts for Jason. Eli turned out to be the guy for the Wu and of course we know that this team could not have been farther from the bottom. Oh and while that all sets in remember that the Smirnoff Ice comment in there was because he was "iced" more then anyone else at the draft (the exact numbers are a bit fuzzy to me) thanks to him not paying attention to what he was doing. I know Jason thinks that because he is the number one seed and has a first round bye that I was going to let him off the hook. Can't do it. Not after the hostility you promised to pass my way had I earned the Will Ray of Hope award and beer bitch duties. Jason wanted to point out to me about how important McCoy was to him (seriously by the way? you have the #1 seed locked up you forget to start McCoy and then you go off on a 3 day hissy fit about how he should be starting and then you send a trash talking text to the guy who finished in the a race to avoid worst record in the league?). He even went so far as to pride himself in drafting him. Nope! You think that guy was staying on the board that long? Scott Polyniak, the guy you have cursed for your terrible team, the guy who gave you Flacco and Grant also gave you LeSean McCoy. I say you call and apologize. Maybe even thank him.

Black Rice Act II - Dan - After the risky Maclin move Dan didn't exactly make another splash instead going with solid players like The Law-Firm, and aging receivers Donald Driver and Deion Branch. There really isn't much else to break down with this team, if Arian and CJ2K do what they are suppose to do the rest of the team could consist of Scott Polyniak and Eddie Baum and Dan will be headed to the playoffs...

Option # 3: if Dan trades CJ2K for Drew Brees he will surge into the playoffs and finish the season with the most points. I don't care how many predictions we all made preseason (and we made quite a few), none of us would have predicted those two players would have been on different teams come this week 13 recap. I also question how many of us were thinking that Rob Gronkowski would be tying the NFL record for touchdowns in a season from a tight end? One thing I feel like we could have predicted was that Dan would get into trash talking matches with more then one other member from the league. Just when I am ready to annoint Jason/Dan as THE rivalry in the IDP, he goes off and totally rekindles the Pitz/Dan hatred. Oh man. Do you know how much fun it would be if Dan's gauntlet  was Pitz then Jason? Well I guess it would be fun for us...but then that would mean Dan would be winning. I feel like this is a weird superlative for Dan. He has gotten "Most Likely To Be Hated By Everyone In The League", two years running. Congrats?

Just the Tip Drill - Pitz - Pitz definitely improved his team and with the strength of his keepers this could be a playoff bound team this year, but lets be honest this team is going as far as Vick takes them.Also can I be the first to point out that Pitz's team is the most gangsta of all of us? I mean he's got Blounts and Fortes!!! Boomslang!

 I went back and forth about which quote to use. On one hand I could have talked about Matt Forte...AGAIN. Look that guy was a stud all year long and for Pitz to lose him at this moment along with Fred Jackson just seems wrong. Almost as wrong...well let's say twisted...that Pitz has now lost 3 bets in a row to Dan. Two versions of Fifa, and now he is destined to be named by Dan for all of next season. I almost wonder if it will be something simple yet effective. Let's not be too sympathetic for Pitz however, this is the same guy who gave himself "GM of the Year Award" two years running. It is incredibly easy to root against him so I don't want any of you to feel any differently towards him now!!! Back to the quote at hand, other then avoiding talking about Forte, whose name has to be mentioned more then any other player in all 2011 blogs, I wanted to point out how Vick and Blount are no longer even on his team. This team wasn't going as far as Vick could carry him, but how far his running backs would carry him. Just have to wonder if they didn't quite get far enough.

FreshPrincesofBelAir - Stilt - The next four players selected all have had some sort of major surgery in the last 2 years (Welker, Finley, Rice, Hardesty). They might all bounce back and have great years, or ya know, not. I do actually really like the Tim Hightower pick, but lets talk more about the picks I don't like. Braylon Edwards, failed a drug test, David Garrard, cut, Tony Moeaki, out for the season

Ya...ok...NONE OF US KNEW CAM NEWTON WOULD BE AMAZING!!! I could not have been more wrong about Stilt, but had any of us known Newton would be that good I doubt he would have gotten in in free agency. Not only that, but Stilt makes a great little deal for Reggie Bush who apparently remembered how to play football. Not that Peach isn't bitter about that now. In Stilt's ultimate destruction of us all last week he got 54 points from just those two players. That was two points off Peach's total. Again, not that Peach is bitter. Where as the top 3 teams so far have all some sort of trash talking they have brought upon everyone Stilt has kept his mouth shut and fallen into some stars. Here is my reward for Stilt's good behavior, "Bro, you gotta try the Theron". 


Grundle Stains - Titus - The James Starks pick could comeback to be a gem in this draft, same with handcuffing Micheal Bush...but this still seems like a potentially great draft came up a little short.

I really could not resist bringing up the Micheal Bush handcuff. In the 8 weeks that Titus held onto Micheal Bush he scored 0.9 points for Titus. Dan has him for 5 weeks and the guy puts up 85.8 points...7th most of any player this year for him...and that's behind two quarterbacks. That guy was good. Now I feel kind of bad for that dig so lets talk about the other guy in the quote, James Starks. Titus was able to trade away Starks for Jordy Nelson who has been a godsend to this team averaging over 10 points a game from the wide receiver spot. No surprise though, again, this team has Ray Rice and MEGATRON. Along the way they will get RunDMC and just for good measure a traded for MJD. Lets make fun of him for Micheal Bush again!!!

Grundy Grabbers - Alec -  Marshawn Lynch, Steve Smith, and CJ Spiller seem like they could be solid for Alec this year, I mean we all know their names and they have been associated with fantasy football in the past, but that was the past. All three of the players play on what the French call "God Awful Teams" (I won't even mention the uncalled for Redskin love), but again he was cooking us food all night so I think I'm going go easy on him and just say all three guys could be the lone shinning spot for their struggling teams.

Two outta three aint bad is it? In my defense all three of the teams these guys are playing on are terrible, but these guys have been doing their part. Beast Mode has come on strong here at the end to be a strong RB2, maybe even RB1 dare I say, and Steve Smith (thanks to Cam I Am) is leading the NFL in receiving yards.  Now as for the CJ Spiller thing, who knew that at this point he would actually be the starting running back? Alec no longer has him, so we can't give him too much credit for that pick and Stilt is excited about it and Pitz is still cringing about. Well enough about a missed opportunity for Alec, lets talk about how this poor guy drowned away his sorrows last Monday as he assumed his team (which was deserving of a playoff spot all year) was about to get the booby schmoo and get eliminated after a few games of bad luck (see Kirby week 2 and Will week 12). But the cute little bastard prevailed and will get to strike fear in the hearts of everyone that has to play the 6th seed. Good show ole chap!

Ok, so I intended to do this for all 12 teams, but I've been battling a mini-flu thing and even just got sent home from work. Half a bottle of nyquil later and I don't see me staying coherent long enough to finish the non playoff teams. Considering nobody cares about the second tier bracket I will probably do it next week...or if these drugs work well enough this could be the greatest post I've ever posted!!!

Week 12 Recap

At 6-7 last year Peach finished in the dreaded 7th spot with Stilt slipping into the 6th seed at 7-6. This year our 7th and 8th seeds could both be 7-6. Basically the playoffs have started already. Half the playoff field has yet to be determined!!! Of course the Commissioner's Hand, Marc Pitonzo, will cover all of the playoff implications in his weekly playoff predictor page later this week and I see no reason to steal any of his thunder just now (especially after stealing a victory from him this week). Pitz will do the predicting, I will do some recapping since we had some pretty important matchups this week that set the stage for the most exciting week 13 in the history of fantasy football. NO HYPERBOLE! Ok maybe a little.

There was a massacre where Titus beat Kirby by more then 70 points to put himself atop the 7-5 teams. Larsen and Stilt pulled the ole "getting the job done" and got to the coveted 7-5 level. There was also THE upset of the week when the Mark Ingram show dealt Pitz his second loss in so many weeks. There was the clash of the titans between Dan and Jason! Dan looked came across as a resident on Mount Olympus...and Jason was very mortal. A goat, even, if you will. Finally there was the epic desire of two teams battling it out tooth and nail, with Will coming across victorious and making next week very exciting!

Wu Rule #1 - Jason - REALLY? REALLY? REALLY? All of that and then nothing? If you didn't know, Jason doesn't make bets. He however is not against talking about bets, proposing bets, and backing away from them. Look, if you haven't been reading my blog (well then I'm sure you aren't right now) I am a huge believer in Fantasy Karma. Jason just had to face Karma face to face (FACE!)....and this is how it ended. Add a McCoy toe injury in there as well and wow, that is some awful karma. It is a good thing he has that first round bye locked up, so that McCoy has plenty of time to heal. I have a feeling we won't be hearing much from the league leader in the near future.

Just The Tip Drill - Pitz - Speaking of karma. With the Saints running the ball (FINALLY!!! I don't see good Karma in Sean Payton's playoffs) I get a text from Pitz. "It's a good thing this game [the IDP matchup] isn't close or I'd be having a heart attack. A yard here yard here, no biggie." I cannot make this stuff up, but at that exact moment Mark "The Great" Ingram dashed 38 yards past a number of New York Football Giants defenders who had come up with numerous places they would rather be then chasing after the fleet footed rookie. The effort was terrible and just that quickly the NFL and IDP games were both over. It is at this moment that I would like to give the Ma-Ti award for worthlessness this week to Mr. Mike Wallace. 2 catches, 17 yards, 1.7 points. Bravo, Mikey. Bravo.

Black Rice Act II - Dan - Damn. Do you know how much fun it was just dogging the top teams? Two terrible losses from our 1 and 2 seed and this blog was starting to get fun for me. Sadly I can't rip Dan's team. I can't figure out if it's because I have his second round pick, or because I just can't say no to that dashing quarterback on his team, but I don't hate Dan as much as I normally do. Don't worry. It will come. Just not there yet. Outside of Fantasy Karma the other theme for this week is that, was this not the definition of fortune favoring the bold? Dan takes an idea from Jason and basically lays it all out there, loser loses their best running back. We aren't talking about Jackie Battle and Montario Hardesty here folks. This bet would have had one team lose Arian Foster or LeSean McCoy. High stakes. That's why everyone was all in. This was the most intense bet anyone has ever presented in our short leagues history. The Gods don't like when things are taken away from their followers. Wait...Dan used to do predictions...those are gone...AHHHH...my head hurts now. Calm down, calm down, just listen to Wayne. I need to end this and what better way then to talk about Burritos. Did I hear somewhere that Chipotle now has brown/black rice? Did I make this up? Did Dan make this happen? Do I really want a burrito? Yes....to the last question. I don't know to the rest.

Grundle Stains - Titus - Ok. Hypotetically speaking. You're about to play Titus and the fantasy God of Predictions says to you "Ray Rice  will score single digit points, Megatron won't break 11, and RunDMC wont play" don't you take that every damn time, and twice on Sunday??? Sorry, but how often do you really get to use the saying "twice on Sunday"? I enjoyed saying it. Anyway, all of those things happened to Titus this weekend, and yet he scored 103 points. Help me Norm. Well it all makes sense when you realize that Jordy Nelson scored 2.7, and Kevin Smith left his game in the first half on a stretcher. WAIT. No it doesn't. It makes sense when you realize that he got 45 points from a kicker and a defense. Yup. And Pitz wrote last week that you cant win with kicking and defense. We all feel a bit upset right?

FreshPrincesofBelAir - Stilt - What a unified victory for team Stiltner. All team members came together as one on this day. Wes Welker (22.6) was the center of attention, and had all the right moves in his white jersey. He was making it look so good that no one could take their eyes off him. Cam'Ron (19.62) kept the party going, and the Ravens defense (18.00) came through during a happy family occasion. Great victory Stilt. You should be very proud and happy of what you accomplished this week. I know we are all thrilled for you and wish you the best of luck as you continue to move one step closer to getting that ring. AHHHH HA!!!

ZUnstoppableForce - Lars - YES! Get to be Debbie downer again. Yes, Lars did get the win. You are correct, but shouldn't there be just a little bit of concern going against Titus next week in a win and you're in game right after scoring the 3rd fewest points this week? The only two people who had worse weeks were 4-8 Kirby, and Lar's 3-8 opponent Hittner. Ok the downer lasted long enough. Strong possibility we may see from Mr. Beanie "26 points on the bench" Wells again soon. Also I'm sure he will have Miles Austin and the bum hamstring at some point, right? No #3 pick could be that big of a bust. Ok I meant to stop with the downer stuff. Look a win is a win is a win. Lars had a crap week, but he gets to fight another day, and really that's all we try to do in this league. Not like winning ugly has stopped Jason, and all that did was get him first place for the regular season.

Rodgers rejects - Will - Well that was rather impressive. At 5-6 Will's back was against the wall, and a loss to Alec would have all but sure that Will would have his second consecutive season watching the playoffs from home. Or ya know somewhere that you can watch fantasy football playoffs. I'm sure there is such a place. The rejects were anything but this week as they demolished the field pumping out 140 points, which Dan will tell us just how good of a score that is (I don't feel like looking it up). Just one week after I insulted Will for giving up a 3rd rounder for Cedric Benson, the Bengals running back scored 19 points. No surprise here but Aaron Rodgers put up over 20 points for the rejects, but the surprise is that he did not lead the team in scoring (20.4). No sir, that distinction goes to the epic performance of one Jimmy Graham. Remember how we all thought Will was reaching for Graham in the fourth round? Sheesh. Though there is someone who wasn't that thrilled with Grahams performance however.

Grundy Grabbers - Alec - Yea. Alec was that guy if you didn't pick up on that. I had the good fortune to be with Alec on Monday night as we rooted against Jimmy Graham, Brandon Jacobs and of course neither one of us wanted to see Pierre Thomas to ever be on the field. Alec was tending bar at his work of course and was only able to take in so much of the game at certain times. Which made it all that more depressing watching his reactions to Mike Tirico yelling "Touchdown, New Orleans". There would always be a deep breath then a slow turn towards the television, then what felt like an eternity was actually just a second long process of Alec attempting to piece together what number the receiver is wearing and all coming together as Alec's head would drop back and he would stare at the ceiling in an odd combination of rage and apathy. It was almost as if he was fully aware that he was on the path to another high scoring defeat, similar to the one he had against Kirby in week 2, and it burned him up inside that there was nothing he could do to stop it. There were a few moments of joy for the barkeep though, like every time the Giants offense was on the field. Upon Jimmy Graham's last touchdown which put Will ahead permanently there was no slow process for Alec. No, this time was just a quick immediate screaming of  "FUUUUUUUUUCK". Then a slew of other obscenities. We sat at his bar doing side work and closing down shop while throwing back a few end of the night brews. The two of us could not have been feeling more different (get to that later). Alec just kept driving home the point though the entire time we talked "My team is too good to be in this position". It would appear as if he is right, but he still is. The good news for Alec is that Tommy Touchdown plays the Colts this week, that should help as he attempts to control his own fate.

corn on the kolb - Kirby - How long can you go with a team named after Kevin Kolb? Nobody who ever had Kolb on their team, neither fantasy nor forreal football would keep kolb in their name. Is that the reason that Kirby only has 4 victories this year? No, but it still is fun to discuss. The kolbs (lower cased and all) were responsible for the second lowest score of the week of the week, but still find themselves in solid position to avoid being the dreaded last place team. The only exciting part of this team is Victor Cruz and the 27.7 points the nondrafted player scored this week.Kirby  can say that he is right now one of two players to have yet to make the playoffs. Last year he ended up with the number 5 overall pick, and this year he appears to be on his way to moving up one more spot to get the 4th overall. That is no guarantee of course. This team could still climb up that draft board. Yea...I really had nothing here... I would like to point out one gianantic flaw of Kirby's team this week. Sitting on his bench was Pittsburgh's defense (13.00) facing Kansas City and Tyler Palco. He started the Giants (-4.00) against Drew Brees. And I thought Hittner was tanking.

Do You Like Apples? - Hittner - As you can see by his point total this week Hittner has stopped paying attention to the league entirely now as there is no point since the trade deadline is over. There are two things about this team that do not surprise me though. First of all the highest scoring player this week for Hittner was Tim Tebow (16.42). Of course he was the highest!!! The only surprise to me is that Tebow wasn't the highest scoring overall player. He's TEBOW!!! The other thing that about this team that failed to surprise me was that Hittner's bench was 12 points away from tying his starters. How many weeks has this guy been tanking it? Oh right he "HAS" to start James Starks. I think he wants to. He is eying up the #2 overall pick. OOOOH my spiky haired friend, be careful with this game you're playing. It could backfire on you quickly.

Marchioness Disaster - Death - It's story time again. Week one on Thursday night after a pass interference call the Saints were on the 1 yard line against the Green Bay Packers, with 0 seconds left in the game. In an interesting move Sean Payton hands the ball off to a rookie running running back who gets stopped and the Packers start their march to perfection. Death started Ingram against Pitz that week and was rewarded with 4 points for the decision. If Ingram gets in I still do not beat Pitz, but I do think it changes the dynamic of the rest of the season. Since then you could see Sean Payton's hesitancy to give Ingram the ball in those situations. He feels more confident in having Drew throw (can only argue so much there). I also have to question if the number of carries would have increased throughout the season if Ingram punches that in and wins such a high profile game. Unfortunately none of these things happened and Ingram and I have both felt the sting of that outcome. Mark gets about 9 carries a game, and I have been battered all season about drafting the rookie so high (when that wasn't even my worst pick). So when Ingram took the toss and sprinted 30 yards past the entire Giants defense to win me the third game of my season, yes I did embrace it a little more then I should have. A piece of my heart grew 22 sizes that day. My prophecy hasn't come true yet, but Mark Ingram won me a game. Assuming Jahvid's head hadn't stopped working this season, and I had one or two more Ingram moments like this year may have been alot more fun for me. Ah well. I'll just embrace an angry Ingram centered email from Pitz as the highlight of the year.      

The Tolbert Report - Peach - This has not been a good run for Peach. While he seemed to be turning a corner at the end of last season, he appeared to get lost Mr. Magoo style and keep stumbling towards the bottom of our standings. He is already one of two teams that has failed to make it to the playoffs in either of the two seasons and soon enough could be the first person to have the number 1 overall pick twice! We've only had 3 drafts!!! Not the best showing for a guy who works for ESPN. Hey! Atleast he has his Eagles!!!

Whelp, that's all I got for this edition of as the IDP powers. I am going to leave you all with this little nugget. EVERY MATCH UP HAS SOME IMPLICATION THIS WEEK!!! (And we all know about implications) We may be figthing for a playoff spot, we may be fighting for a first round bye, we may be fighting to not be beer bitch, we may even be fighting the urge to bench LeSean McCoy, but ethier way we are all fighting. And thanks to a reminder from Hittner and Coach V, WE WON'T GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP!!!