Week 12 Recap

So its been a busy week. I get back into Baltimore Monday late afternoon after celebrating Thanksgiving and then going away hunting for four days. Tuesday  night I had to go to Safeway, since I had no food, then met up with Kirby and Jen for a couple of hours. Last night I had dinner with the fam and then had to play Fifa with Dan (thanks Pitz!). I get home and realize that I'm watching a NFL game during week 13, AND HAVEN'T RECAPPED 12!!! Whoops. Well then I panic because I have nothing to write about anymore thanks to Pitz and Dan. So thinking of Dan I realized I only go to the Eastern Shore for 2 things; 1) to visit Dan/go to beach, and 2) TO KILL WILDLIFE! How are those two things even close to related? Crazy. Well that wasn't even the craziest thing that happened this week, and now I have something to write about.

- Steve Johnson dropped a pass that would have won the game for his team, blamed God and then was PRAISED by the media for being so stand up about the situation. Really? If this was 100 years ago and somebody blamed God for a mistake weren't they deemed a witch and burned at the stake? Also when did we start calling him Stevie Johnson? Was there an actual conversation when he went up to somebody and said, "Look, I'm 25 years old. This "Steve" business just isn't my style. Can you call me Stevie like when I was 7? Thanks"

- The same media that praised little Stevie, RIPPED Derek Anderson for laughing during a blow out and then storming off in a postgame interview. Did anyone hear how the whole thing played out? We counted, the person who asked Derek "Why were you laughing?" asked him 12 times before he lost his mind. 12! After the 7th time Derek should have been allowed to throw the podium at him, laugh more hysterically than the Joker and scream THIS IS WHY I'M LAUGHING!!! Why does the media get to be so high and mighty and judgmental? Such a joke.

- Andre Johnson and Cortland Finnegan got into an all out brawl where punches were thrown while the players helmets were off. Needless to say both were ejected. What was strange was that nobody was suspended and both players were fined $25,000. Now, a $25,000 fine would ruin my life no question, but this is way to small of a punishment. Don't get me wrong I loved watching Andre beat the crap out of Cortland (also of all the receivers in the NFL to start crap with you choose Andre Johnson, really Cortland?), but the $25,000 fine for those two was the same as James Harrison's fine for tackling the quarterback. NFL needs to figure this crap out.

- Going into week 13 there is a possibility that there will be 3 white starting running backs in the NFL (Peyton Hillis, Danny Woodhead, and Toby Gerhart) and nothing seems weird about it. They are all good, but when was the last time this happened, 1935? When were blacks allowed in the NFL? Peach get Stat Boy on the phone!!!!

- The Baltimore Ravens top pass rusher came out this week and said that quitting cocaine is the reason for his resurgent season. He also claimed it was a joke, and I do find it hilarious, but ummmm should somebody maybe drug test Fabian Washington?

- I am terrified of Will this weekend

- A holding call that nullified a Ray Rice touchdown affected 3 of us this week. Titus got the loss, Peach stayed in the playoff hunt, and I couldn't clinch my playoff spot. Seems like the only team it didn't seem to bother was the actual Baltimore Ravens.

- Qatar is smaller then Connecticut and yet will host the World Cup, because they can provide air conditioned stadiums. Russia will also get to host a World Cup four years prior to Qatar. Has there ever been two more dramatically different climates? Add South Africa to this mess and you have basically a shower where someone flushed a toilet. HOT, COLD, HOT!!! (Yes I know South Africa was actually cold at this WC, but come on that joke was gold!)

- One last World Cup point. England was credited with being the Birthplace of Football/Soccer and yet they haven't hosted a World Cup since 1966! I also enjoyed FIFA claiming that the possibility of making money (which the US had the greatest capacity to do of any potential host nation) was not a factor in their decision, and yet you could actually see the voters counting their Qatar money! You could tell it was from Cutter, I mean Qatar, because of the oil stains on each bit of currency. (I don't know if this is true, but it makes me feel better.)

- I wrote numerous blogs earlier in the year about how terrible Jacksonville is (please notice I wrote "IS"). Now? They are in first place in their division after losing again! Why are we only talking about the NFC West?

All of these definitely provided for a crazy week in sports both real and fake, but nothing was as crazy as the phone call I had after my soccer game last night. Jason called me twice earlier in the day, so when I called him back you can believe my surprise when he said "I have been checking all of these emails all week so that I can read your blog, and you haven't posted one." Jason overnight apparently went from the person to ignore more emails about my blog, to my number one fan. Wow. I have no idea what to expect going into week 13, but I do know you can expect rankings to come next.....

White Rice - Dan -  All but locked up the #1 seed with his win over Will. No surprise but the big days came from Kyle Orton (25.88), Brandon Lloyd (19.6), and Arian Foster (21.8). You know, I never really gave it credit before but Arian may be foreal. I have no proof or evidence, but I think his name is awesome. Reminds me of Marshall Faulk or Walter Payton. Just sounds like a nice shifty back. There. I hope my curse is now complete. Speaking of curses, wow is Chris Johnson inconstant. The 0.7 came at just the right time for Dan, but is he now worthless thanks to worthless Rusty Smith? We can all only hope so.

Velour Fog - Titus - Thanks dick! Yes we can all blame the Ray Rice phantom touchdown for Titus losing this week, but I'm just going to hold a grudge against him personally. Adrian put up his second lowest point total for the season and allowed Peach to squeak by and possibly into the playoffs. Remember all the RunDMC talk earlier in the season? Well since his 43.6 outburst he has scored 13.5, 9.4, 3.0, and 6.5 this week. Gradkowski is out for the season so the qb controversy in Oakland is over. Maybe that's what its going to take to get RunDMC running again.

Do You Like Apples? - WOW did he get up here fast. I thought the big 3 were basically locked up, but now Hittner has a chance to actually be the #2 seed! If Titus loses to the resurgent TipDrillers and Hittner is able to beat Alec he would jump in standings! Hittner has an 82.76 point lead over Titus right now, and you would have to think that he will hold the tiebreaker after this week. In his 4 game winning streak Hittner has been the top scorer twice, and the second leading scorer once. Yes, this is the team you don't want to play.

Grundy Grabbers - Alec - His record was 8-1 for the first 9 weeks of the season. Since then, 0-3. Must be nice to clinic a playoff spot before you do a complete tailspin out of control. As mentioned above Alec will be facing Hittner this week and can probably expect another loss. If the Colts (Wayne, Brown) can't get themselves together, and Adrian Peterson's injury proves to be serious I can see 0-5 in Alec's future, which would make this kind of a wasted season, right?

The Heaphopapotomus - Death - Hooray Adrian Peterson injury. Is there some kind of irony to Alec having the 'Skins D which injured his best player Adrian Peterson? Maybe. Is it possible that Dan Carpenter is actually Jesus Christ (17 points this week)? I'm not going to write it off yet. Did the NFC west really have 2 teams make it to the playoffs with 8-8 records? YUP, and they both went to the Super Bowl. I'm ok with being the Rams this year.

TheBlairWhiteProject - Peach - So I'm watching PTI on Tuesday and Tony is talking about Peyton Manning and his lack of weapons. He mentions Jacob Tamme and then talks about Blair White, or as Tony likes to call him "TheBlairWhiteProject". Hmmm. Did Peach rip off Tony Kornhieser, or Kornhieser rip off Peach? I would really like to know! What I do know is Peach has been playing the role of clever matchup gm and found a diamond this week in Maurice Morris (19.5 points). He won a low scoring game against Titus (the #2 team) and now has a match up for his playoff future against Dan (#1 team). Ohhhh you can cut the pressure with a knife!

Motor Boaters - Stilt - Wow. 7th? He's in 7th? So Stilt who was one of the 4 most dominant teams may not make the playoffs? Crazy. Right now Stilt is tied for the longest current losing streak at 5 games and going. Last week he actually posted his highest score....since his last win. Shame he had to face that Hittner guy. It will be interesting to see what he is able to do against Lars who was just eliminated last week.

nephew w/out the n - Kirby - Third highest overall scorer, 8th best record. Kirby's playoff hopes are dark, but at least they are still there. I mean he does still have Dwayne Bowe who scored 35 points this week. Oh if your wondering, yes that is over 42% of Kirby's scoring during week 12. Boy, Pitz really did do a  number on this guy didn't he?

Gunners Treble - Lars - And then there was 4. Lars is out and looking forward to an early pick in what is probably going to be a pretty weak draft. His team of aging stars seems like they are about to start hitting the wall. LT is losing carries to Shone Green, TO may kill Carsen Palmer soon, and well actually Matt Hasselback had a pretty good week. At least he has Larry Fitzgerald for next season, although nobody knows who is going to throw him the ball.

Just The Tip Drill - Pitz - At one point was viewed as a lock for the #1 pick Pitz may now find himself at 5-8 as he rides out a stretch where he has won 3 of his last 4 games.  The Micheal Vick experence has been good to Pitz (24.7), as was Deion Branch's Thanksgiving show (23.3), and not to mention the once a 4th stringer Mike Goodson (19.6). Yea....none of those guys were on his team to start the season.

ProtectYourNeck - Jason - Back to back wins, well if they win one more you know what they call that, a winning streak. Has Jason figured out this crazy game? Start the best players and good things may happen? Who knows? I do know he cannot keep complaining about the Joe Flacco pick. He was the second leading scorer for Jason this week (18.36) behind Nate Kaeding (20.00). What is up with these kickers?

crash and burn - Will - We need to host the draft next year at a bigger house, now that we know Will will be the one fetching all of our beverages throughout the night. Will had a pretty decent week, with Knowshon, Mason and Miles Austin all scoring over 14 points, but the combo of Jerome Harrison, Rob My Bironas, and Indy D got him a total of 2.6 points. An average of 0.87 per player. That's good, right?

Well happy final week of the regular season everyone. Time sure does fly when your wasting time on the waiver wire. Until next week know your role, and shut your mouth!