Week 13 recap

Well now all the questions are answered. Jason is the number one seed. GOOD NIGHT!!! Tip your waitress I'm out.

Sadly I'm not going to get off that easy am I? Well tell ya what, the playoffs are set, the top six draft order is set...and I'm pretty sure I wrote about how terrible everyone's team would be right after the draft happened. Let's see how poorly I did.

Wu Rule #1 - Jason - I did like Jason snatching up Matt Schaub in the 3rd to solidify the quarterback spot, but selecting Eli Manning two rounds later well, that's the Jason Pack we all know. So lets all raise a Smirnoff Ice or 7 and toast to Jason once again being a bottom feeder in the league. Cheers.

Hmmmm. Schaub really solidified the QB spot didn't he? In a bit of an ironic twist the 3rd round pick Schaub made 3 starts for Jason. Eli turned out to be the guy for the Wu and of course we know that this team could not have been farther from the bottom. Oh and while that all sets in remember that the Smirnoff Ice comment in there was because he was "iced" more then anyone else at the draft (the exact numbers are a bit fuzzy to me) thanks to him not paying attention to what he was doing. I know Jason thinks that because he is the number one seed and has a first round bye that I was going to let him off the hook. Can't do it. Not after the hostility you promised to pass my way had I earned the Will Ray of Hope award and beer bitch duties. Jason wanted to point out to me about how important McCoy was to him (seriously by the way? you have the #1 seed locked up you forget to start McCoy and then you go off on a 3 day hissy fit about how he should be starting and then you send a trash talking text to the guy who finished in the a race to avoid worst record in the league?). He even went so far as to pride himself in drafting him. Nope! You think that guy was staying on the board that long? Scott Polyniak, the guy you have cursed for your terrible team, the guy who gave you Flacco and Grant also gave you LeSean McCoy. I say you call and apologize. Maybe even thank him.

Black Rice Act II - Dan - After the risky Maclin move Dan didn't exactly make another splash instead going with solid players like The Law-Firm, and aging receivers Donald Driver and Deion Branch. There really isn't much else to break down with this team, if Arian and CJ2K do what they are suppose to do the rest of the team could consist of Scott Polyniak and Eddie Baum and Dan will be headed to the playoffs...

Option # 3: if Dan trades CJ2K for Drew Brees he will surge into the playoffs and finish the season with the most points. I don't care how many predictions we all made preseason (and we made quite a few), none of us would have predicted those two players would have been on different teams come this week 13 recap. I also question how many of us were thinking that Rob Gronkowski would be tying the NFL record for touchdowns in a season from a tight end? One thing I feel like we could have predicted was that Dan would get into trash talking matches with more then one other member from the league. Just when I am ready to annoint Jason/Dan as THE rivalry in the IDP, he goes off and totally rekindles the Pitz/Dan hatred. Oh man. Do you know how much fun it would be if Dan's gauntlet  was Pitz then Jason? Well I guess it would be fun for us...but then that would mean Dan would be winning. I feel like this is a weird superlative for Dan. He has gotten "Most Likely To Be Hated By Everyone In The League", two years running. Congrats?

Just the Tip Drill - Pitz - Pitz definitely improved his team and with the strength of his keepers this could be a playoff bound team this year, but lets be honest this team is going as far as Vick takes them.Also can I be the first to point out that Pitz's team is the most gangsta of all of us? I mean he's got Blounts and Fortes!!! Boomslang!

 I went back and forth about which quote to use. On one hand I could have talked about Matt Forte...AGAIN. Look that guy was a stud all year long and for Pitz to lose him at this moment along with Fred Jackson just seems wrong. Almost as wrong...well let's say twisted...that Pitz has now lost 3 bets in a row to Dan. Two versions of Fifa, and now he is destined to be named by Dan for all of next season. I almost wonder if it will be something simple yet effective. Let's not be too sympathetic for Pitz however, this is the same guy who gave himself "GM of the Year Award" two years running. It is incredibly easy to root against him so I don't want any of you to feel any differently towards him now!!! Back to the quote at hand, other then avoiding talking about Forte, whose name has to be mentioned more then any other player in all 2011 blogs, I wanted to point out how Vick and Blount are no longer even on his team. This team wasn't going as far as Vick could carry him, but how far his running backs would carry him. Just have to wonder if they didn't quite get far enough.

FreshPrincesofBelAir - Stilt - The next four players selected all have had some sort of major surgery in the last 2 years (Welker, Finley, Rice, Hardesty). They might all bounce back and have great years, or ya know, not. I do actually really like the Tim Hightower pick, but lets talk more about the picks I don't like. Braylon Edwards, failed a drug test, David Garrard, cut, Tony Moeaki, out for the season

Ya...ok...NONE OF US KNEW CAM NEWTON WOULD BE AMAZING!!! I could not have been more wrong about Stilt, but had any of us known Newton would be that good I doubt he would have gotten in in free agency. Not only that, but Stilt makes a great little deal for Reggie Bush who apparently remembered how to play football. Not that Peach isn't bitter about that now. In Stilt's ultimate destruction of us all last week he got 54 points from just those two players. That was two points off Peach's total. Again, not that Peach is bitter. Where as the top 3 teams so far have all some sort of trash talking they have brought upon everyone Stilt has kept his mouth shut and fallen into some stars. Here is my reward for Stilt's good behavior, "Bro, you gotta try the Theron". 


Grundle Stains - Titus - The James Starks pick could comeback to be a gem in this draft, same with handcuffing Micheal Bush...but this still seems like a potentially great draft came up a little short.

I really could not resist bringing up the Micheal Bush handcuff. In the 8 weeks that Titus held onto Micheal Bush he scored 0.9 points for Titus. Dan has him for 5 weeks and the guy puts up 85.8 points...7th most of any player this year for him...and that's behind two quarterbacks. That guy was good. Now I feel kind of bad for that dig so lets talk about the other guy in the quote, James Starks. Titus was able to trade away Starks for Jordy Nelson who has been a godsend to this team averaging over 10 points a game from the wide receiver spot. No surprise though, again, this team has Ray Rice and MEGATRON. Along the way they will get RunDMC and just for good measure a traded for MJD. Lets make fun of him for Micheal Bush again!!!

Grundy Grabbers - Alec -  Marshawn Lynch, Steve Smith, and CJ Spiller seem like they could be solid for Alec this year, I mean we all know their names and they have been associated with fantasy football in the past, but that was the past. All three of the players play on what the French call "God Awful Teams" (I won't even mention the uncalled for Redskin love), but again he was cooking us food all night so I think I'm going go easy on him and just say all three guys could be the lone shinning spot for their struggling teams.

Two outta three aint bad is it? In my defense all three of the teams these guys are playing on are terrible, but these guys have been doing their part. Beast Mode has come on strong here at the end to be a strong RB2, maybe even RB1 dare I say, and Steve Smith (thanks to Cam I Am) is leading the NFL in receiving yards.  Now as for the CJ Spiller thing, who knew that at this point he would actually be the starting running back? Alec no longer has him, so we can't give him too much credit for that pick and Stilt is excited about it and Pitz is still cringing about. Well enough about a missed opportunity for Alec, lets talk about how this poor guy drowned away his sorrows last Monday as he assumed his team (which was deserving of a playoff spot all year) was about to get the booby schmoo and get eliminated after a few games of bad luck (see Kirby week 2 and Will week 12). But the cute little bastard prevailed and will get to strike fear in the hearts of everyone that has to play the 6th seed. Good show ole chap!

Ok, so I intended to do this for all 12 teams, but I've been battling a mini-flu thing and even just got sent home from work. Half a bottle of nyquil later and I don't see me staying coherent long enough to finish the non playoff teams. Considering nobody cares about the second tier bracket I will probably do it next week...or if these drugs work well enough this could be the greatest post I've ever posted!!!