Week 4 Recap

Yea, yea, yea. I didn't do a week 3 recap. I was too busy having the best week of my life (if you don't know what all happened ask me sometime when my words won't be posted on the internet). Anyway I normally would be watching Tigers/Yankees ALDS where Verlander and Sabathia will battle it out in game 3, however I am up just 2.96 points with Joseph Addai left for Titus I'm going to be all in on Monday Night Football (ok that was such a lie I'm going to be flipping back to baseball...a lot...). And now as an added treat since this is the first time I have been home on my couch before 11pm in well over a week I got the laptop out and this weeks blog will be a running diary of my breakdown as I lose for a 4 straight week (not including playoffs).

8:34 - Ok I get it pink = boobies. We all like boobies, but enough already!!! Rhonde Barber is my cutoff. Have you seen the sleeves he is wearing? Really goes well with the red and gold of Tampa.

8:36 - Gruden just mentioned that they need to feed the ball to Addai. I hate this already.

8:37 - The National Anthem is being sung by two dudes from the band "Sister Hazel". What?

8:38 - Weird Jason. Tampa didn't yell the BALTIMORE "O".....also I just set up a DVR recording for Monday Night Raw, so now I have something to watch tomorrow.

8:40 - Granderson just drove in Jeter and the Colts are starting with the ball. I wasn't planning on drinking tonight but I very close to cracking a beer.

8:41 - Sorry, Ronde I thought the sleeves were bad, but I just hadn't seen the socks yet.

8:43 - Addai gets his first carry and my heart just stopped. 1 yard gain. BUT HE COMES OFF THE FIELD FOR 3RD AND 3!!!

8:43 - 5 yard catch for Dallas Clark and Addai and his stupid dreads are back. He gets the ball and FUCK....8 yard gain. This is over. Why did I do a running blog?

8:44 - Aqib Talib is wearing too much pink too, but he just hit Addai behind the line!!!

8:45 - Painter completes another 3rd and short. Damnit!!!

8:45 - Delone Carter sighting!!! Quick Curtis score!!!

8:48 - Adam Vinetari bangs a 45 yard field goal, and I have a .96 lead. I was hoping this would drag out just a bit longer...

8:53 - I'm watching the clock tick down from 10 minutes left in the first quarter and hoping the Bucs will just work the clock. I have officially lost my mind.

8:55 -  3 and out??? 3 and out??? Damnit JAAAAAAAASH....

8:55 - Gruden tells us that Dwight Freeney had to dig down deep in his bag of tricks to find the spin move. Apparently Gruden has never seen Dwight Freeney play since the only trick this pony has is a spin move. Mighty fine spin move though. Mighty fine.

8:56 - Hugh Jackman teaches a robot to box. Makes sense.

8:59 - My season is over.

9:40 - Addai loses a yard and I foolishly think I have hope...

9:43 - I turn the channel to TBS and never  come back

Well I could not have been let down more by this. Worst part is he only wins by 1.84. That's it. Well shit. If thats all Addai was going to do all game then why not drag it out so this column could have had a bit more to it? I really liked this idea but between going 0-4 and it all happening within an hour its screwed me twice this week. And with that the two week hiatus returns not with a bang...but a very weak whimper.

ZUnstoppableForce - Lars - And still the only undefeated team.  Not only does that  phrase surprise me, but his top scorer this season...BEANIE WELLS!!! Of course, who didn't see that coming? The MVP of the best team in our league is Beanie Wells. Oh right, Beanie also missed a game already. But then again when he scores 31.8 points in a week their stats will probably look pretty good around week 4. I'm like a parent in a Will Smith song...I just don't understand.

FreshPrincesofBelAir - Stilt - Cam Newton is awesome...Wes Welker is unreal...I love Baltimore's defense. I ran out of a lot of points really fast...crap think quick...damnit...I feel like the time when Will's mustache falls off when he meets Ms. Sharpe.

Just The Tip Drill - Pitz - Lets see what should I talk about first...oh right I know how about how Matt Forte AGAIN cracks the 20 point mark, and damn near scores 30! Pitz does also have a knack for the trades, newly acquired Hakeem Nicks put up 22.2. Fred Jackson added to the cause and scored 15.8. But lets be honest Pitz getting Mike Vick back on track was key. Vick added a solid 31.14 for the tip drill raising their record to 3-1. Vick is amazing to watch. Seeing some of the plays he makes reminds me of this. Except you know, Will won that game.

Grundle Stains - Titus - Megatron isn't fair (21.6 points, but it felt like alot more. He really isn't. Did you see the play where Stafford just chucked it up to him in triple coverage in the endzone? The worst part is it's almost like the Lions know this. They refuse to give him the ball until they are down 20. It's a sick joke they play.

"Hmmm. 21 point game Matthew. What do you think we should do?"
 "I know coach! We'll run a naked bootleg to the right and hit the tight end with a screen!!!"
"No Matthew. You're going to take a 5 step drop and throw it down field as far as you can."
"But...what if noone is there? Or Megatron is covered???"
"Just throw the fucking ball and don't get hurt."

Actually I'm pretty sure Stafford is on board with that play too. Not really sure why I wrote him like that. Although I can totally picture Stafford going home on a nightly basis giving himself a high five because he has Megatron and then following it up with this.

Wu Rule #1 - Jason - So it looks like continuing to start Vincent Jackson (the #2 overall pick in the draft mind you...even though he still should have taken Matt Forte, but whatever) has paid off for Jason. This week VJax scored 16.8 points for the Wu, joining forces with Eli Manning (18.54), Jason Witten (15.4), and Lesean McCoy (11.2) for another win for Jason this year. Jeez last year we all treated him like Jazz, but this year? Wow...I mean did anyone expect him to be 3-1?

Rodgers Rejects - Will - I know I've gone into it before but I have to go back. If the season ended today Lars, Pitz, Jason and Will would all be in the playoffs. Wow. I seem to be repeating "wow" a lot in this blog but come on this is crazy! Not nearly as crazy as what Aaron Rodgers did on Sunday. 46.92 points!!! When you read that you have to sound like Doc from "Back to the Future" when he talks about 1.21 Jigawatts (I would link it, but then I'm just crushing my trend). Anyway just like Matthew Stafford I bet will gives himself a high five every Sunday and then does his dance.

There really is nothing else to talk about and I just had to include this. Ok fine...now the follow up.

First or Last - Dan - Dan's status as the villain of the league really doesn't feel as pronounced this season, but I'm sure we all know it's still there. I guess it's a little harder to brew hatred when you're 2-2, though I wouldn't put anything past Dan. Although this week may have felt like a loss, it should still kinda feel like a win. Arian Foster(22.6) and CJ2K(11.2) finally showed up! If this is a continuing trend we are all going to hate Dan again, as much as we hate this guy.

Grundy Grabbers - Alec - Two weeks ago I wrote about spending a whole day with Alec watching football, he confidently told me about how happy he was with the Grabbers. At 1-3 now I wonder if he is still that happy? Well I assume he can be, as long as he has his Tommy.

corn on the kolb - Kirby - Yea, these are getting short now. Must be getting close to wrapping up time...I'm not sure what to make of Kirby's team. They are 1-3 with their one win coming as a giant ass whopping to Alec. He only broke 80 once and that was the game he won where he went off for 126 points. What the h??? Ah well atleast he has brought it to all of our attentions that it is beer week in Baltimore. Think Kirby ends up in prime condition?

Do You Like Apples? - AD - So mad I lost this game. Hittner almost cracked 90 this week. The only time he had done that previously was against me. Awesome. Not only are these about to keep getting shorter, but I'm about to start getting more and more bitter. I gotta do something to mellow out, and Hittner could probably use it too since I'm sure not a day goes by that he doesn't think about poor Jamaal Charles and his knee. So lets get a little young Tyra Banks in here.

Tolbert Report - Peach - HEY HE BREAKS OUT OF THE 70'S!!! Points that is, he's not a hippy. Peach made a hard move and traded away Hakeem Nicks, but it might be for the best as Lagerrett Blount went had a great first week with the Report scoring 20.10 points leading the team to another loss. Peach has made plenty of moves but the future still looks bleak for this team. Hopefully Peach will get to go on a buisness trip and visit the star of his show. It has to be impossible to think of your struggling fantasy team when you go to visit DLB. Right? Even if it's not the right season. 

Flounder Pounders - Death - This is brutal. If I lose again expect to see me lose my mind.


There really is nothing else to talk about and I just had to include this. Ok fine...now the follow up.  See everyone Sunday...GICHA GICHA WILD WILD WEST!!!