Week 8 Recap

According to Wikipedia a ghoul is "a folkloric monster associated with graveyards and consuming human flesh". I don't have a follow up to that. Just one of those things I was thinking about since yesterday was Halloween and of course its a like of Charlie's, and Sunny clips has become a reoccurring thing here lately. I also brought it up because its a great intro to some ramblings about potential Halloween ideas for this blog that I've decided would be stupid and am not going to dive into.

First I was contemplating making it based on how scary the upsets were this week, only problems was there wasn't any. Kinda hard to talk about how abnormal, spooky happenings take place the week of Halloween when everything worked as if there was no Mike Myers (the guy from Halloween, not the guy from the Love Guru...although the latter might be more terrifying). After that idea failed (and I'm kinda glad since I'm not sure how I was going to be able to drag that out) I started thinking about what are characteristics of Halloween that we could use for comparison purposes. For example Pitz could be a king sized candy bar that you get from the rich house that you had to go to when you went trick or treating, and Peach would be the rock that Charlie Brown got at every house when he went out trick or treating.

Ok side bar before I get back to the lecture at hand, why do all those kids treat Chuck Brown like shit every holiday? He gets rocks at Halloween, called a block head every time he sees a classmate, and doesn't even get respect from his dog. For fucksake at Christmas time they called him a failure because he bought a small tree because he saw character in it. What was the rest the cast doing while he was gone? Singing and dancing!!! This "blockhead" wrote a whole script, designed the sets, and was directing the worst collection of egos since the 2003 Lakers. Oh yea, hes in elementary school. So yea he came back with a tiny tree, maybe it was for artistic direction, but did any of those bitches think about that? Nope fucking sluts were too worried about their naturally curly red hair.  And finally that bitch Lucy. What a sick whore. First she charges him a dime (which apparently used to be a lot of money) for psychiatric help, but she jingles the money right in front of him and then offers no assistance other then crushing his self esteem. Then as we all know she promises to let him kick the football but always pulls it away at the last second. Really? Really? What you cant let the guy kick the ball once? What did he ever do to you? I'd bet shes amongst the kids who wouldn't let the Trix Rabbit or Lucky the Leprechaun have their cereal that they are the damn spokes person for. Kids are mean man.

Ok main bar. I nixed that idea because I feel like I do that all the time, and I'll probably rehash that idea for Thanksgiving again. I decided to go with talking about random Halloween things that I find interesting and see how much space I can fill. Of course my fourth idea was to go back and see what I wrote about this time last year, but I had already finished 3 paragraphs and decided that that idea wasn't going to work. Anyway a point for Halloween definitely goes to the slutty outfits girls wear. Yes I know exactly how cliche that sounds right about now but hear me out. I never fully appreciated it until this Sunday at the Ravens game when I could not stop staring at the cheerleaders in the second half. I mean I see these girls all the time when I'm there, and it's not like they have to wait till October 31 to wear little to no clothing. The epiphany I reached was that themed slutty is the best slutty ever. One chick was a slutty Ninja Turtle, and you know what? It worked. That makes no sense. Was it her purple mask that only covers her eyes, or the shell she was wearing on her back? I also know that I'm describing the possibility of there being a slutty hunchback, and on the right girl...it will be hot! Now lets be sure to cover the yin and the yang of this Holiday, and that's for every theme slutty there is a sloppy slutty. The sloppy slutty is not awesome, and usually is in form of a cat, or witch, or something else that's just as dumb (anyone see a hot Black Swan this year? Me either). Such a shame a few bad eggs go and have to ruin such a wonderful thing. Finally how did Halloween really come together? Did some guy want to see women scantly dressed, or was it all about the kids first? Which makes it really interesting when you think about how one developed into the other. Did some guy really want a holiday for kids to have fun and eat candy, but his bro just wanted chicks to just wear something other then those damn pilgrim outfits. I'm starting to go crossed now thinking which came first the pervert or the stranger with candy. Ok lets talk about football because this nonsense has gone on way too long.

Just The Tip Drill - Pitz - Annnnnd at the end of week 8 Pitz has become that guy. If you don't know what I'm talking about its because you haven't had a conversation with the guy about this league lately. He's becoming the guy that who was really poor, hit the lottery and is now just blowing all of his cash...while acting like he actually earned it. I mean of course he knew Fred Jackson was going to be in the discussing of MVP of the NFL this year. Of course none of us should be surprised that he has become this guy because lets be honest he always has been, its just his team is finally good enough for the ego to show through. This is the same guy who gave himself the gm of the year award last year. History lesson, he ended up with the #4 overall pick in the draft. In his defense he did make some good trades down the stretch to improve his team...but he was the same gm who drafted the shitty team in the first place. You don't get a plaque for tanking the draft. The one awesome thing this week was that this team has Steven Jackson, and I love a good Steven Jackson story. SJax basically put the Rams on his back, gave a whole speech to the team about no letting the game slip away and helped the Rams upset the New Orleans Saints. I love SJax and the 31 points he scored. Alec, wouldn't you have rather have gotten this guy for a first rounder??? I really hope St. Louis has a winning team in the near future. 

Wu Rule #1 - Jason - Another week another win, but unlike our leader he has actually been quiet it about it...which is good cause he was surging up the list of "Guy We All Want To See Lose". Gotta give the guy credit  (I mean as much credit as any manager in fantasy football deserves) this was a big win this week. Jason is currently tied for the #1 overall record in the league and just picked up a win on the #3 team, and both teams scored more then 70 points!!! Seriously! I looked it up and everything. Leading the way in the 95 point barrage was Shady McCoy who scored 32 points. Did you realize that McCoy is second in the NFL in rushing? I didn't even know he got any of these points from rushes. He is an Eagle right? They can't possibly run the ball. I'm so confused this year. Just make me go a little more cross-eyed lets talk about a pick up Jason made earlier this year that's paying dividends, Nate Washington. 15 points came from the wide receiver spot that Washington filled this week. Again, the Eagles are running the ball, the Ravens refuse to, Jason is paying attention, and cats are getting along with dogs.

Grundle Stains - Titus - Here is just a fantastic strategy when picking bye week defenses, pick the team playing John Beck or Rex Grossman. Titus went ahead and got 25 points from the Buffalo Bills which was just a little icing on the giant cake which was ass whopping on Ryan Stiltner. Ray Rice (27.9) finally did some poaching of tds as oppose to having them vultured from him, Megatron was Megatron (18.5), and new toy MJD was good for 13.4. I think its fair to say everyone is hoping RunDMC is still hurt, because as annoying as Pitz is getting this guy will be 890,348 times worse.

ZUnstoppableForce - Lars - First 4 games of the season this team was 4-0, the last 4 games 1-3. I'm not really sure where to go with this next, I want to make fun of him and bring up how his season could be disappearing yada yada...but he plays me next. I'm fairly confident since I have the power of Tebow, but you know I can't run my mouth too much right now and not expect some negative karma. Hypothetically speaking though this team does not have an easy run down the stretch, even if they beat the Flying Tebows this weekend. His upcoming games are as follows; Death, Pitz, Dan, AD and Titus. If he goes 3-2 in that stretch he finishes 8-5 and should be safe...if he finishes 2-3 then hes in the abyss of 7-6 teams and who knows who comes out of that!!!

Grundy Grabbers - Alec - Fun fact from one half of our league statistician team; Alec's fantasy defense allows an average of over 100 points per match up. Fun fact #2 Alec is one of six teams who have more points against then scored. Of those six teams two have .500 record (Dan is the other), the other four all have losing records. Basically he is the anti-Jason. Just marinate on this for a second, he played the jv team that Hittner has decided to run out there now in his quest to finish just out of Beer Bitch range and had to deal with Reggie Bush putting up double digits as he ran for over100 yards. Yea Reggie Bush. Speaking of which how funny are those Pizza Hut commercials with Reggie Bush? The guys are bragging about drafting him in their fantasy league, but they never mention when they get him. Are they all excited because they got him in the 8th round? Is Reggie happy cause he even got drafted? Why can't those commercials feature another back like Fred Jackson, or Ryan Torain? Where is Lendale White when you need him?

FreshPrincesofBelAir - Stilt - What can I say here? His team has a decent week other then a few let downs, most noticeably Wes Welker, but he played a team that scored 134 points. I could go and breakdown this team but whats the point? 85 points didn't win, wasn't close, and no real good stories. So what I'm going to do instead is bring up a topic that I like to explore in this blog and talk about something that happened on Monday Night Raw. I have been watching wrestling for as long as I can remember, taking off for a year or two here and there, but like a battered wife with no self-respect I always come back more in love then before. Well Monday I saw something I had never seen before. On Monday the Muppets were the guest hosts and during a match between Jack Swagger and Santino Marella the loveable lab assistant Beaker INTERFERED IN A MATCH!!! It was awesome. I need more Muppets in my life. How can you go another day without wanting to see more of this guy?

Rodgers Rejects - Will - Last week I said I was rooting for Will, so of course he lost. Not only did he lose but he had a pretty lackluster performance from the majority of his team. Colt McCoy (13.64) was his leading scorer for crying out loud!!! I should rephrase that, Colt McCoy was the leading scorer of individual players, the majority of Will's points came from the upstart Cincinnati Bengal's defense, who benefited from the fact that Charlie Whitehurst has no idea how to play in the National Football League. I will once again come to defend Will though, since it's utterly unfair to assume that this team would be able to win when Aaron Rodgers was on a bye. I'm also not surprised he had to play Pitz this week, and me the week prior (remember, 80 yard bomb to Jennings who was WIDE OPEN!!!).

Black Rice Act II - Dan - I would be lying if I didn't get some satisfaction in Drew (12.66) having his worst game in 2 years while he played for a different team. It won't keep up, hes too damn good, but it was fun. What was interesting was that by Drew not being Drew we had a little bit of a game going into Sunday night between Dan and last place Chucky Peach. Fortunately for Dan Jeremy Maclin stepped up and put away a nice 11.4 day (I'll cover the rest of the match up at the bottom, unless I get tired of doing this and just quickly wrap it up). It is also kinda upsetting that Arian isn't a fluke. The guy put up 18.4 this year and has basically cemented himself as a top 5 pick in non keeper leagues for the next 3-5 years or so. Bastard.

Do You Like Apples? - AD - Damn! What amazing justice it would have been for Hittner to keep winning and then either just miss the playoffs or get smashed in round 1? He still loses by 6 if he replaces Delone Carter with MJD, but I'm going to pretend the math doesn't add up and that this was a win he should have had. Which brings me to an interesting point. Peach loved calling me out for selling my team, and I was winless at the time!!! Where is the AD hate Chuck? The only person that seems to be steaming about this is Pitz since he now is genuinely scared of Titus. Me? My feelings about it? Just one more team for me to leapfrog in my end of the season surge to running off 5 straight victories to make the playoffs (I actually have no idea if that gets me in or not, its just fun to have something to root for...AND I get to yell Tebow a lot), speaking of which...

Tebowing a Miracle - Death - Didn't forget about Kirby this week!!! So was this the week of the defense or what? I have already talked about Buffalo and Cincy for their 24 point effort, but that comes up right behind my boys from Detroit who gave me a hard 29 spot and basically lead me to victory this week. It was tough to enjoy my first week of CJ0k when I hear he started the game with 5 carries for 1 yard. I mean seriously there is no way hes this bad again, right? Right? RIIIIIGHT???? I miss Drew. Speaking of bad, have you seen any of the Tebow highlights? I think at one point he fumbles the ball in a throwing type motion and heaves the damn thing 30 yards backwards. Not good. Not good at all. Despite all that, he still outscored Drew Brees and Philip Rivers. Love me some Tebow. Lastly incase anyone looked at my team I want to talk about Montario Hardesty for a second. I picked this guy up a few weeks ago and stashed him on my roster waiting for him to breakout and start to get carries. Well thanks to injuries on my roster I start him on a week where Peyton Hillis (who Kirby/my opponent is starting) might not play. Boom! Hillis is wearing sweat pants on Sunday and Hardesty gets the start. That means Kirby will get a 0 and I get whatever Montario can do for me. What Montario does is carry the ball twice for 6 yards and tears his calf. ARE YOU SERIOUS BRO??? Now I won't complain too much because I got the win. But congrats Montario you have joined Eric Decker and Chad Ochocinco on my LIST!!!

corn on the kolb - Kirby - So, Victor Cruz...you're umm...hmmm...legit? Since getting regular playing time in week 3, Cruz has scored 23, 9.8, 20.4, 1.2, and 15.9. I think every team here would take that kind of production out of our wr2. The problem is here that other then Frank Gore (19.4) nobody else broke double digits (and he played a team that got 30 points out of a defense), and that formula usually results in a L for the week. I am wondering how Kirby plays out the rest of the season. With a match up with league leading Pitz on the horizon does he hold all his pieces or does Kirby become a seller before the Nov 18 trade deadline. So exciting, or not all...TBD.

The Tolbert Report - Peach - If I'm going into a Sunday Night game down 24 points with DeMarco Murray Dez Bryant, DeSean Jackson, and Philly's D, I'm feeling ok. I'm feeling really good when Philly's D is playing really well. I'm feeling less ok that Dallas is behind so much so they won't run the ball and can't get the ball to Dez. I'm feeling much worse when the lead is so big that Philly's big play receiver doesn't need to make big plays...and Romo still has no idea where Dez is lined up. I have Romo and Witten in another league and was down by about the same amount (with Bowe going on Monday Night...yes...I lost) and was so disgusted in the play of Dallas that I turned on the Walking Dead. No that was not a play on words to describe the Dallas team Sunday night, but I like where you were going with that. Anyway the Walking Dead was great, the game was awful, and I'm 3 weeks behind on Boardwalk Empire. Man...TV is really good now. Who needs the NBA?

That was me attempting to see how bitter I could make Peach while being subtle. Well its time to wrap this up just like Week 8, but before I go I was wondering if I could get some feedback. I mean yea you guys read it all the time, but you're kinda my friends so you might not always be open and honest about if this writing is good or not. So I'm going to turn this over to two guys who I know will give me what I'm looking for.

Waldorf, Statler...what did you think of the blog?