Week 14 Recap

So the playoffs are intense! I mean who wasn't sitting on the edge of their seats when Derrick Mason caught his second touchdown pass of the night and brought Will within 75 points of Pitz? But seriously, playoff fantasy football is so vicious that it has lead to the divorce of Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson. Do you realize how big of a deal this is? Weren't they the it couple of Hollywood? Actually I'm asking at this point. Didn't even know they were married until I logged in to Yahoo just to check the scores. The only thing I knew about Johansson's love life was that she was supposed to have a late brunch or early breakfast with Vinny Chase about 6 season's ago. I assume Vince banged her and they called it a day. Speaking of calling it a day, I was debating back and forth about who I need to give attention to this week as far as playoffs go, since 4 teams didn't play, and 4 teams played meaningless games. So this is what I'm going to do. I'll throw a few bones out to the losers bracket, then give my breakdown of the 2 biggest games in our young league's history.

- Jason Pack was the highest scorer of the week. That means that regardless of who he played he would have won. Nobody scored more points this week then Jason. I keep repeating this because I don't believe what I'm typing. Could he actually be a player we need to worry about next year?

- Jason on Sunday night tried to get Pitz to trade him Micheal Vick for his first round pick. "No? Ok then how about my first round pick AND Joe Flacco? No? Why not? I want Vick! Still no? Fine, way to be selfish and not help anyone out." I don't think I'm worried about Jason as much.

- Larsen (not in playoffs) could have beaten Alec (number 4 seed) with 3 players; Micheal Turner (30.4), Brian Westbrook (17.0), and Matt Hasselback (13.7). Larsen lost to Jason. These two do know it is a little late to take this seriously now right?

- I don't think anyone has cared less about a game ever then how our entire league felt about Will vrs Pitz. Can Derrick Mason make up this 59 point deficit on Monday Night Football? No.

- I grow bored with the losers bracket very very quickly. Time to talk about real teams now....

The Heaphopapotamus vrs Grundy Grabbers - SUCK IT ALEC! Nobody runs their mouth more and produces less than the Grundy Grabbers (true fact I just made up)! Death's imaginary defense was strong again this week as Adrian Peterson was held to only 2.6 points making this week a cake walk. A week ago Peterson was good for 28. Tommy Touchdown and Reggie Wayne made their presence known, scoring a combined 33.36 points. For those of you scoring at home, yes that is 55.6% of his total points. Ouch. You could have added atleast 6 more to that total, if it wasnt for this play by Blair White. That total was almost passed by Pittsburgh's defense, aka the biggest mistake everyone else in the league made that did not pick them up. It sucks to watch Polamalu running back touchdowns when all I want is to see Pittsburgh lose, but remember I have been running with the Chief's defense most of the year. I'll take the upgrade. While there are others who have higher total points, I'm not looking to upgrade at the QB position. Drew Brees is a stud. I decided to look it up, and his worst week ever this year is week 4 where he scored just over 14 points. That was his worst week! Drew has only chucked up 25plus points one week, but I can pencil him in for a solid 15-17 on a weekly basis. As sad as it is to say I might get my second 25 plus this weekend if the Ravens play anything like they did in Houston (more on that later). I will say though that it was great to see good triumph over evil once again. Alec we all hate you, and I'm glad I'm the reason your eliminated. Danny Woodhead for life! 

Velour Fog vrs Motor Boaters - Hi everyone, my name is RunDMC. I know I know, it seemed like I wasn't going to live up to expectations again this year, but my nickname is too cool not be talked about more often. So I said to myself "Run, what are we doing? We need to be killing it every week. Putting up the big numbers. I mean people want to draft Cedric Benson over us in fantasy football. COME ON MAN!" And thus the Play off miracle of how Titus won his first playoff game behind 38.9 points from RunDMC. Or at least so all of us thought going to bed on Sunday night. Well I was actually thinking about how scared I was of Adrian Peterson, but that's not the point. Going into the two Monday night games Titus was up 80.94 to 56.28. Titus had his first overall pick Ray Rice going, and Stilt had his first overall pick Andre Johnson, who Stilt took with Rice still on the board, and Brandon Jacobs (how many different teams have had this guy btw? how many different teams hate him now btw?). Well Jacobs had himself a day scoring 17.6 points, all of a sudden making this a closer contest. Then the Mano y Mano match up of first round picks. Andre Johnson vrs Ray Rice. Well at this point everyone knows what happened. Ray does everything but scores a touchdown and brings home 12.0 points giving Titus 92.94 points (2nd most among playoff contenders). We also know that Ed Reed forgot how to play defense on Monday and allowed Andre Johnson to score 26.0 points and giving Stilt 99.88 for the win!  Back to Ed Reed for a second, that was honestly the worst game I've ever seen him play. Every Andre Johnson highlight you can see Ed just completely lost. On the last touchdown before the 2pt conversion you can see Ed actually defending the back pylon and nothing else. As angry as we all were that this happend I can just picture Titus sounding a lot like this.

So here we are the Final Four. Dan, Hittner, Death, Stilt. The bye's verses the underdogs. Dan and Death battle which is a pretty nice rivalry given the history, where as I don't know if Stilt and AD have met. I'm actually really interested in hearing who everyone is rooting for or against this week. I know Alec is rooting against me, but thats just cause hes a jealous hater with girl hair. Does everyone want the Jedi showdown of Dan and Hittner? Are you rooting for the 5 vrs 6 seed where Mark Reynolds would go agaisnt his Community Relations counterpart (too much?)? Maybe you want to shake it up. Dan would love to see an all SPY swimming final with him and Stilt (and beating me along the way would give him brain porn for a long time). What about an all Towson Track/Killa Beez match up with Death and AD? Maybe you just hate all of us at this point and have decided to quit playing fantasy football altogether (Titus)? Either way this week is going to be very exciting. Like I haven't been this excited for anything since I heard about the lesbian scene featuring Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in the new movie "The Black Swan".

Until next time always remember if the Airplane you're on gives you the option between  steak or fish, always take the lasagna.